Conversation Help

[ssj245]

How can I Improve my conversation skills with people? I know that the most common advice is to get practice and speak to alot of people. I do get alot of practice since I work as a social help aid in my school and everyday I talk to lots of people.

But when I am with my friends I dont have anything to say, my mind always draws a blank and I wish I could have conversation that was more wittier and inteligent.

I was wondering what I could do so that I could become a sharper person, mentally and be funnier wittier and more slick with words.

rather than a simple "yeah thats cool...yeah thats hot"

IM NOT saying I cant have conversations about intelligent subjects, if you find me a person to talk about out foreign economic policy, I can talk for hours or maybe the invasion of poland by germany, I can talk about war stategy for hours too, or maybe just business in general. Anything technical is easy for me to talk about.

When it comes to having social conversation, conversation for the purpose's of socialising, I suck big time and Im looking for a way to improve on it. I know talking is great, but there has to be something I can do In my spare time that can help me improve.

 

[Brummeren]

Find out what the other person talks about, then build on that. Try to relate to yourself, and always ask open-ended questions.

Oh, and practise.

 

[theory of knowledge]

you should try to relax and not to worry about it...you don't worry about having nothing to say to your parents when you were 11, do you?

just respect your convo partners, don't try too hard to impress others, and stand up for your beliefs

i don't speak much, but i speak when something good comes to me, and only then.

 

[ssj245]

I guess what I am saying

yeah, I know about those attitudes already. I usually keep quiet and when I do say something it is usually to get others to like me. I never say what I really feel, because if I did people would be shocked to know.

I try to relax but are there things I can do at home that can help me to learn to think better and clearer and say better things in social situations.

I never spoke to my parents much, we fight alot, and we dont get along too well, so I try to avoid saying anything to them.

So any books or exercises that I can do at home.

 

[Brummeren]

You need to learn to speak your mind at some point, and you have to get out and talk to people! However, there are a few things that can be done at home:

- Try having conversations with yourself in front of a mirror. The topic could be anything, i prefer silly stuff, like "what's best, knife or spoon?" It may seem weird, and it is, but it will make your talking skills more natural. People in youth-politics do this all the time where i'm from.

-record yourself having these convos can also be a great thing

but in the end, it all boils down to you having some understanding of what to say in convos. I recommend some posts by Fingers, that you've probably read, but try to apply them when you talk to people, and that includes teachers, friends and so on

Vibing:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=81511
Interesting conversation:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=251200&postcount=5
Empower your voice:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=37707

 

[ssj245]

any books

are there any books that are out there that deal with this topic?

 

[noneother]

sounds like you're afraid to be yourself. if you have a fear of making a mistake you'll need to overcome it. just be urself **** what anyone else thinks, u only get one shot at life. let go of the idea that people's opinions about you matter because no one really cares about you in life. there's a saying "show me someone who is afraid to make a mistake and i'll show you someone you can beat everytime".

 

[d9930380]

Yea - The best advice is to be yourself. I know that most people think that's the worst thing you can be but when you're constantly analysing what you say it's obvious and the conversation doesn't flow. Just relax.

Also, try not to "score" with each girl you talk to, if she's boring and the conversation isn't going anywhere, just end it and walk away. At the end of the day, it's a two way thing and if your not interested by her then why try harder.

Girls get hit on all the time and if it isn't going anywhere, She WILL end it because she knows there will be another guy along in a second. At least if you end it, then you're the one in control.

As for topics to talk about, talk about what YOU find interesting and go to places that you will meet like minded people. Some people just aren't suitable for "pulling" in clubs.