Controversy about Albert Mehrabian

[Speer Method]

Haha, Some controversy about Albert Mehrabian theory about face-to-face communication.

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The truth is its important to use verbal and non verbal communication although gestures, body language and tone are part of the most important things in face-to-face communication.

Routines are a good beginning in learning proper dialog, although you should be more aware about everything else.

To get good results you MUST use all 100%.

Some people say they have been able to game by words only through text, web, and email although that is NOT face-to-face communication.

Not acctually what we are talking about here.

 

[everywomanshero]

HI Speer,

I am not familiar with your method so I won't try to relate these comments to it. As a person formally educated in social science fields, I've spent a good deal of time thinking about these kind of issues and how it relates to people I encounter and myself.

If they used emoticons in the texts/IMs, then they did not use words only. Besides, if you never meet the person face to face, I'm not sure it's a pickup? I guess you could wank to her talking on the phone lol but then you'd likely use nonverbal elements (paralanguage cues)... well, let's hope the guy isn't doing too much moaning but heavy breathing, inflection, pausing, etc.

I tried to use routines for a long time and it's not that they didn't work so much as it's just I found there was no need to do that. Many of the routines out there are kind of weird anyway and my stories from real life are much more interesting. In fact, many people make pick up sound much more difficult than I find it to be in the first place.

Regarding percentages of verbal versus nonverbal channels makeup of actual communication. It's very difficult to put an exact number on something and the attempts to do so are suspect. I question the sanity of anyone who believes words do not matter as much as I question the degree of education of anyone who believes nonverbals do not matter. The idea I have is to make it, not fake it. The best way to develop a good communication style is to be a happy, well adjusted person who takes care of himself, thinks about how his dress/looks/words will be perceived, and isn't afraid to show his personality and put himself out there. Although a guy might manage to get laid being a phoney, he will always be an insecure little boy inside. A guy will get laid 10x easier by being a man and will feel like a secure man inside. A secure man doesn't have to think about verbal and nonverbal competency much beyond getting his hair cut and purchasing clothing, because it comes from within him and just is. If one is asking "should I stand like this or like this and does it matter more if tell her I like her with my enlarged pupils or my words", he definitely doesn't qualify as a secure man and is so far away from that goal he can expect a long, difficult road a head (but one well worth the climb and certainly possible)

 

[Speer Method]

completely agree with you. Its important to be yourself and to have the knowledge of what works and what doesnt.

Routines are over rated, and weak. They are a good starting point but I am with un-necessary.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Routines are over rated, and weak. They are a good starting point but I am with un-necessary.

"The Best System is no System" ?!??!???!??

That is the most ridicules statement I have ever heard in my life. That is like saying a doctor doesnt need a procedure for surgery. LMAO

Oh god, some of the people on this forum are awesome while others never stop to amaze me in the level of their stupidity.

Source Post

Your lack of congruency amazes me Speers.


We all agree that most communication is 'sub communication' indicated by body language and tonality over the actual spoken language. But you also have to take into account the situation in which you communicate. In an academic setting, its more the actual spoken language, but in the bedroom its all tone and body language.

Sometimes, the words have to make sense, other times its not important. You would look like an idiot trying to present a speech without any real meaning. For sh*ts and giggles I present; the Sarah Palin final address. Notice how it barely makes a speck of sense??


I would think that a well recognized PUA like yourself would be able to write a more explanatory post without having to resort to poor gimmicks like pulling 'controversy' out of thin air.

 

[Speer Method]

Um, wow you are ridicules. It is a system. LMAO

Your a little flame machine. The terrorist of So Suav, from now on I am ignoring your posts.

PS
If no one is interested in my posts. STOP READING THEM OSAMA BIN ALLE.

and there is controversy you just dont know about it because you are not plugged to ANY community news, but then again its hard to get cable from you cave huh?

Source Post

Your lack of congruency amazes me Speers.


We all agree that most communication is 'sub communication' indicated by body language and tonality over the actual spoken language. But you also have to take into account the situation in which you communicate. In an academic setting, its more the actual spoken language, but in the bedroom its all tone and body language.

Sometimes, the words have to make sense, other times its not important. You would look like an idiot trying to present a speech without any real meaning. For sh*ts and giggles I present; the Sarah Palin final address. Notice how it barely makes a speck of sense??


I would think that a well recognized PUA like yourself would be able to write a more explanatory post without having to resort to poor gimmicks like pulling 'controversy' out of thin air.

 

[Alle_Gory]

from now on I am ignoring your posts.

If you can't stand your own bullsh*t and hypocricy being thrown back at you, then tone it down.

and there is controversy you just dont know about it because you are not plugged to ANY community news, but then again its hard to get cable from you cave huh?

Show me. Back up what you say.

 

[everywomanshero]

Common sense would seem to be enough to realize words account for more than 7% of communication or whatever number people tend to throw around. These numbers have become so commonplace that some people get the impression words do not matter at all. If this were true, foriegn languages would be irrelevant since you'd still understand 93% of what the person was saying (ok a little less given cultural differences would likely be present too, but still...). I don't know the researcher and have never met him, so I am not suggesting he misused his data but I am suggesting that his data has been misapplied and often confuses people.

That said a shocking number probably does more good than harm because it gets people to think about if they are dressed to get the job and so on. I've been in a number of areas where I didn't speak the local language and almost no one spoke mine. I'd say I got around pretty well all things considered and got laid too (probably more due to me being a novelty item than anything else, though), but it would've been a lot more than 7% easier to communicate had I known the language!