Context based reflections or cast iron rules? "How sweet of you"

[CCFCmid]

Carrying on from another thread, I tried to pose a little question in relation to how usually "you're so sweet" or "how sweet of you" is normally an instant "you're nice" type of line; (thanks for the ego boost but not inerested kinda thing). It got lost a bit in the thread so thought I'd start a new thread with it to get some views on it, here's the post...

The your so sweet is as much a death knell as 'nice'!

Just playing devil's advocate here a bit though, what if say the girl was not in a position to get into a relationship, could be in one already, or recently out of one, or as I've had before is getting emotional blackmail from an ex [depression, self-harm, suicide]?

I've had the "not yet, I have to wait for his mum to die(!!wtf lol) cos she has cancer and he says he will kill himself when she dies" <--emotional blackmail. She's had best friend commit suicide a few years back so quite easily manipulated in this situation.

Of course as soon as I got that, it was the eject button and not looked back! All that baggage, how crazy to put your life on hold because of that! But just a bit of a unique situation where I got the 'you're so sweet'-bomb and think it mightn't not been an immediate indication of her low interest where in most situations it would've been. What do you guys think?

Just want to reiterate I am well out of this now. Just trying to reflect on experience in order to gain some more insight.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I'm pretty sure that "You're so sweet" "thank you honey" is as good as giving you a submissive pat on your head. Basically she's saying: "Oh you're such a sweet boy, I'm in control. Now back into orbiting me." when a girl is feeling she's the sh!t. That to me is a total turn off.

I really feel like saying..Why don't you svck my lollipop and see how sweet that is? ...Or that was cute of you...really. You're such a nice girl with those nice girl words. Did you learn them from the Disney books momma used to read you? *Pat on YOUR head princess* Gold star for you!

 

[CCFCmid]

I'm pretty sure that "You're so sweet" "thank you honey" is as good as giving you a submissive pat on your head. Basically she's saying: "Oh you're such a sweet boy, I'm in control. Now back into orbiting me." when a girl is feeling she's the sh!t. That to me is a total turn off.

I really feel like saying..Why don't you svck my lollipop and see how sweet that is? ...Or that was cute of you...really. You're such a nice girl with those nice girl words. Did you learn them from the Disney books momma used to read you? *Pat on YOUR head princess* Gold star for you!

Agreed, that is how I wold view it in virtually every situation.... however the point of this post was to look at whether things like this can be cast iron rules or can be taken on own merit when in certain contexts (unusual and rare ones) such as the one I mentioned in my post?

 

[f283000]

Naughty Ninja let me add to your post brother
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHZsleyKons

It's so difficult to keep the nice guy inside us. We are all probably victims of doing what women tell us when we should never let a woman tell us what to do.

CCFCMID you are also right (both of you are half right). Women do like guys to do sweet things for them....just not until it's an official relationship and VERY RARELY!

You do nice and sweet things for a girl before she actually deserves it and is your girlfriend you will put her off as being a nice guy and trying to con her into liking you. You do sweet things for her too often after she is your gf and she starts to lose attraction. I think the optimal way to proceed is to be the confident/sexual guy at the beginning (and always) and when she does deserve it (after she is your gf of course) you can do something nice for her... ONCE IN A WHILE.

Women prefer fun/****yness and excitement rather than sweetness. The women that liked sweetness are long gone but some guys are still stuck in the early 1900's in terms of what a women wants type of thinking.

 

[CCFCmid]

Last bump... any more views on this, I'd like to see how some of the more knowledgeable posters (we all know who these guys are) perceive this, seems a real chance for reflection on this experience, lesson to learn type sh1t.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Actions, not words.

It means nothing. There's no way of knowing exactly what one unique individual meant by a comment that may have been completely off the cuff.

The best way to find out if you're in the friend zone is to escalate until you succeed or are outright rejected.

 

[CCFCmid]

Actions, not words.

It means nothing. There's no way of knowing exactly what one unique individual meant by a comment that may have been completely off the cuff.

The best way to find out if you're in the friend zone is to escalate until you succeed or are outright rejected.

With this particular girl, it was quite an odd situation, lots of IOIs but then LMR but when going for the kiss rather than f*ck as with usual LMR. We had three dates where this was happening with lots of IOIs in between, so in an attempt to push the issue I had to escalatee with words which lead to the response mentioned in the original post