Contemplating my next move. Mature DJ's need only reply!

[Fu Fu]

I'm not new to DJ'ing, so here's the deal. I met this girl(I'm calling her a girl because she is 21, I'm 26), Amanda, at a party about 10 months ago, she happens to hang out with a few of the same friends that I have. I have very high standards in women but she definitely qualifies physically, if you know what I mean.

We had good short convo (about 10 minutes) at the party and before I leave I tell her: "I'm about to leave, so give me your number so we can get together sometime"

She says: "Sorry, I just can't do that."
A vague sign of interest, but something is in the way. If she had lower interest she would have been more decisive. I have a feeling she wants to, but is not going to give me her #, no big deal, I'm looking for single available women so time to move on.

Months go by and I see her out occasionally (about 4-5 times) and respectfully say "hi", nothing more. I even forgot her name. However, there was one night where I danced with her and her friend Tristen(at the same time at a club, but no big deal, I'm one of the few dancers among my friends. Wanting to ask this girl for her # again didn't even cross my mind, I'm just out there having fun and they are good social proof.

Here comes the tricky part
One of my best friends, who is also a friend of hers, has decided to get a group together to got to church every Sunday. I think its a great idea and decide to go. My friend and I go out on the town the Thursday before, and he tells me that Amanda and Tristen are going to be at church also. They are both hot, so a little eye candy at church is a plus! That Thursday the two girls meet up with us and a few friends at a bar. On my way out, I say bye to both girls and Amanda throws a bigtime fastball at me.

She says: "I've had the biggest crush on you"
I'm thinking..... warning sign! the girl denied me her # almost a year ago and now she has a crush! Crushes are for kids!
Me: "That's funny, because a year ago I asked for our # and you didn't give it to me"
Her: "I was involved with someone at the time"

So I # close and split. Of course I dont call her before church that Sunday. I see her at church, keep it cool, and disclose nothing about the other night to try to raise her curiosity about me. I call her Tuesday, only to setup a Thursday lunch date and she easily accepts. The call lasts about 2 minutes. Perfect! the date goes well, she initiates Kino, and I'm thinking this young girl could get sprung. She has all the high interest level signs: playing with her hair, suggesting future activities, giggling, and light touching. No kiss closing since it went well, I'll make her wait. I'm obviously on her mind the rest of the day and night because she wakes me up at 1:00am wanting to know if I wanted to meet her out at a bar. Of course I tell her "no" I have to get my beauty sleep.

The next day she calls and apologizes for waking me up, and I kiddingly test her interest level by telling her to meet me for a late night drink(I already had evening plans) the following day which is Saturday. She accepts! I'm now thinking this is way too easy. As good looking as she is, I expected a bigger challenge, and was looking forward to it. She text messaged (I hate text messages!) me early Sat saying she was looking forward to the night. I get her to meet me on my turf(my hangout) that Sat. I have a feeling she thought it would just be the two of us(she didn't ask, so I didn't tell!), but I wasn't ready to give her my full undivided attention on a Sat night, especially after just one date. I sensed she was uncomfortable, so I cut the meeting short after about 20-30 minutes. I'll let her know that everything is OK by kiss closing, also testing her IL at the same time. Everything went great. I was in control of the kiss and the walk away. I told her I'll "see you in church tomorrow" and went about my business.

I've played it very well to this point, but I know I've made a couple mistakes along the way, with the biggest potential mistake taking her # after she's already denied it to me. I figure if she wants to play me, I can beat her at that game. Here's where I Fukkup. It was late, so on the way home she text messages (Have I said I hate text messages!) me and tells me to call her and wake her up for church. So "Mr. Nice Guy" calls her the next morning and I leave a brief wakeup message. I was SO sure she would answer, but when she didn't, I realized how bad I Fukked up. It was a test. I just did what she told me to do and I hadn't dated the girl a week. She didn't go to church that morning either, which is no big deal to me. I'm just mad at myself that I succumbed to one of her stupid tests! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Newbies please take note! My time is too valuable to call a girl and recieve nothing in return.

Anyway, she later called that Sunday morning and left a message because I was having brunch. She apologized for not showing up, saying she overslept and didn't get my call. She wished me a great day, and told me to call her when I had the chance. You bet my sweet a$$ I didn't call her and I still haven't! That was test #2, to see if I'm a wuss, and say everything is OK. The only reason that I'm curious about her IL, is because she called after not showing up. Normally, uninterested girls don't call after no-showing(from what I hear!).

I figure I have three options:
1) Don't call her back ever - The safe rout. I might lose a chick with positive IL, but definitely protecting myself.
2) Wait more than a week to call and set a date - She'll be wondering about me the whole time, but once I do call she'll question my manhood for not putting my foot down at the time. I believe a week is good if things are going right, but risky in this situation
3) Call her soon, setup a weekday date to test her IL - just enough time to make her realize that I don't take any $hit. She'll ask why I havent called, and I'll tell her like it is, "My time is too valuable to waste". If she accepts, she gets rewarded by my company, if not, NEXT!

Any suggestions by mature Don Juan's would be appreciated. I would like to bust her balls!

 

[ManOMan]

you want a mature answer, yet you are so immature yourself.

Church isnt the most exciting activity to wake up to Sunday mornings. Especially since you have been out drinking sat night.

Its not about church tho, its about you, if she realllllly wanted to see you, she would have foregone sleep, rest, recovery, feeling like sh1t, just so she can come to church and see YOU

These arent "tests" pal, she has already played her cards by telling you she has a crush on you, and has repeatedly kept in contact with you when she didnt have to, you are blowing this entire "women testing you" thing out of proportion

She IS interested dummy! you are going to ruin the entire thing by playing too many games.

go with option #3, and stop over acting the arrogance, she likes you

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If you didn't know, there is a mature man's forum now for those over 25!

Anyways, you are overaalyzing the situation and thinking of your moves way too much - if you never knew of this site you probably would not have thought this through so much! I see all positive signs coming from this chick, just because she is pretty doesn't mean she is trying to test you all the time.

You should call her before a week and start doing some things with her besides going to church and clubs - somewhere where you both are alone! She told you outright that she likes you, I can't see how you could screw this up without you doing something totally AFC!

Pursue her moderately, and isolate her so that you make a romantic move.

 

[KiInCollege]

You've made other mistakes:

You set a date on a Saturday too early. You must show that you're too busy on the weekend for casual dates.

The Saturday date was in a group setting, with your friends. She's dating you, not you and company, so give her your undivided attention.

Church meetings promote awkward situations for you two - it's not a date, it's not a party, what the hell is it?

Waiting a week to call at this stage would be inconsistent and reveal that you're playing games. Do number 3, but skip the arrogant retorts. Where's your sense of class? She may be 21, but you're supposed to be the mature guy, with style.

 

[Zossima]

Number 2 is the best option. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and puts the ball back in her court. Play it cool and make her go out of her way to win you. She'll be thinking about you and getting more concerned as to why she hasn't heard from you. Remember, she's got to realize that you are the catch. Not the other way around.

 

[Fu Fu]

ManOMan,
I have to disagree with your here a bit. I'm immature? Don't think so. If I was immature i would have called the girl everyday as soon as I knew she had a crush on me(I waited 5 days). If I were immature, I would have responded to every single one of her calls. If I were immature, I wouldn't be posting in this forum to get some ideas on how to increase my chances in similar situations. If I were immature, I would have told her I like her too. I could have done so many things that I used to do that led to failed relationships, but I don't do those things anymore.

As far as testing, we are talking about girls here. They test you all the time. I want girls to test me, so I know she knows what she wants, and becuase I'll do the same to them. I dont think it's coincidence that once she found out I had interest in her she immediately pulled Ace-Deuce the following day.

I agree that option #3 is the way to go. It's only been 3 days, so the situation is still OK. I'll probably call her today and set a afternoon activity up for tomorrow(I know her availability).

PRL,
Yes I do tend to overanalyze things. It's one of my flaws. As for the church thing, it's a weird situation to HAVE to see someone, while trying to give them small doses of you. It's like trying to date someone at work or school, which is hard to do.

The biggest concern I have about this chick is she basically threw herself at me. Most of the girls that throw themselves are usually headcases, and I've learned it the hard way unfortunately. i'm going to continue to proceed with caution and definitely try to isolate her in the next couple of weeks

Thanks for the feedback.