Contacted After 18 months

[Delly2000]

So I contacted this girl i was dating after about 18 months or so of no contact.

In our last email correspondence she said her and i was cool and she has a new boyfriend and how i pushed her away. She wished me well that i would meet someone nice.

background: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185233

So everything is going fine with my new girl but i just had this burning curiosity. There is no trace of her of FB or anything. took her page down.

So i sent her an email...no response. So i called yesterday after about a week and she is like hello...i am like hi. She was like with whom am I speaking. I say my name..and she just hangs up. Then she sends me a text saying she is sorry and that she is now engaged. And to never call her again.

I say ok I understand. It just seems like a weird reaction. I mean are her and I enemies or whatever? I wouldnt hang up on an ex like that. I would at least be pleasant.

Any thoughts?

 

[DonJuanabe]

Like, please stop writing the word like to describe, like, what you are doing.

Enemies? No, you are not enemies. You do not exist in her reality anymore so you are... nothing. She is demonstrating very high interest for her fiance, something many on this forum don't understand when they wonder why their girlfriend maintains contact with someone from her past. You need to move on -- she certainly has.

 

[speed dawg]

She has zero respect for you and is probably absolutely disgusted with the thought of a weak male like yourself having anything to do with her (in her chick mind). Read this thread. Shows you how cold women can be to what they consider lesser men.

 

[st_99]

Any thoughts?

lol, dude, you are a stranger to her now. it would be like ME calling her and saying hi!

bottom line, you are nothing to her, nobody, zippo, notta.

so calling her is creapy as fvck at this point.

end of story.

 

[Delly2000]

The reaction just seems misplaced.

Exes call me. It doesn't seem creepy. It is a bit shocking and awkward. But I am at least pleasant to them etc. The only reason I would hang up on an ex is if she hurt me somehow and I was trying to make a point to hurt her by hanging up in her ear. In other words I was still hurt or whatever.

Indifference on my part would be "hello..how are things..i am glad you are doing fine with ur new man...well can't talk because my girlfriend is here" bye.

At one point while i was banging her brains out she was saying she wanted to have my baby.

She sends me an email saying we are cool.

Then when I call to say whats up she just hangs up on me. No suprise...no shock..nadda.

In any event I should not expect anything. So I can't be upset. It just seems like a weird reaction.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Thats women for ya!

Just move on pal ~ think on it too much, and u will stress....shes probably got a beta in tow, or has another lover and dont wanna arouse current boyf's suspicion.....

 

[DonJuanabe]

"In our last email correspondence she said her and i was cool and she has a new boyfriend and how i pushed her away. She wished me well that i would meet someone nice."

Your problem is that you do not understand what she was saying. Let me translate for you: "Go find someone else so you will not contact me anymore because my vag is owned by my fiance and I love him very much and I never think about you because you mean nothing to me."

Per Rollo, she is communicating indirectly with you, understand?

 

[Delly2000]

ok.

That makes sense. I mean nothing to her.

 

[Delly2000]

anyone have personal experiences where an ex just hung up on em?

 

[Delly2000]

her email:

I now have a boyfriend, that knows my value and loves and care about my feelings and is willing to be there for me with or without sex. He doesn't pressure me and he opens my door without me having to ask. He always want to hold my hand and show affection in public, cause he is proud to call me his lady. He is truly heaven sent.

I hope u find true love and when you do..I hope you will know how to treat her. because she will return only what u give to her. God Bless.

 

[samspade]

It is not a weird reaction. She is engaged and probably considers it inappropriate and disrespectful to be in contact with an ex at this point.

How many times on these boards have guys complained about a women who still talks to her ex? Here we have a woman shutting down the ex. In fact it doesn't matter what her reasons are. She's closing the door on you. Accept it and move on.

 

[st_99]

you're obviously stuck on this girl.

feelings of inferiority and lower self esteem will do that to a guy.

you have to build yourself up to where girls become mainly just amusing, and not turn you into a chump.

 

[VladPatton]

This is why you never, ever go back on a finished relationship. Once it's done, it's done. You don't put a charred chicken back into the oven to restart the cookin. You chuck it and get another one. Get another chicken, broski!

 

[lifeislearning]

O, wow. That you could consider anything from that email positive. Wow. Thanks for making my night so much brighter.

No, you two are not ok. Read it again

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle motherf**ker. Stop staying in World 1. Move on to another girl cuz she's not interested in you at all. Judge nismo's ruling.

BTW, I don't keep up with exes, nor do I go back to them.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

 

[pdx1138]

This is why you never, ever go back on a finished relationship. Once it's done, it's done. You don't put a charred chicken back into the oven to restart the cookin. You chuck it and get another one. Get another chicken, broski!

Best analogy I've heard for that yet.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been "tempted" to contact exes myself. But I refuse to do it.

In the end its a complete waste of time and I have more respect for guys that don't go that route.

 

[Jitterbug]

No contact is a way to get rid of your ex so you can move on to greener pastures, not a way to sneakily trick her into taking your sorry arse back.

 

[Valentino14]

You should be ashamed to even write this on the internet. Don't you have
self worth as a man?

Your princess is in another castle motherf**ker. Stop staying in World 1. Move on to another girl cuz she's not interested in you at all. Judge nismo's ruling.

BTW, I don't keep up with exes, nor do I go back to them.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

Wow, that is kind of harsh isn't it?

 

[Delly2000]

i just like to examine things. trust me i am not hurt. I just had a niggling curiousity...kinda like guys who before they get married have a curiousity about their exes. But from the consensus to my posts it doesn't seem like that is a road many on this board have gone...which i agree is the best course..though everyone i talked to personally have...but anyway.

I understand that this girl was poison. I wouldnt want her back in my life. things were just getting difficult. She was getting out of hand and being purposely disrepectul. Maybe because she was sure i was dating someone else or becuase she was..who knows. But boy was she hot..the power of beauty.

And she has been engaged before...and if it is one thing i know about women is that they do not change...what she did to me is what she did to the first guy she was engaged too...and despite what she says or how in love she is, she is doing the same number on this guy.

I got the goods...i remmember the way she would look at me amourously when she didn't think i was looking..i guess for that i should be thankful.

 

[Delly2000]

I got to think on this a little bit more and I feel that it has more to do about her than it does about me. I reached this conclusion this way:

I have exes on my facebook..there is one in particular that is extremely happy. Has a good looking guy with muscles (no homo) and I am happy for her. She has pictures of them having sunday brunch, dressing up to go to parties and pics of them having fun with friends. They are a cute couple. I can admit that with no qualms. When I have called I don't get hang ups. I mean she is cordial and everything but there is no hey lets hook up vibes between us.

So my premise is that her hanging up in my ear has nothing to do with how much interest she has in her fiancee or whatever. It just has to do with this girls attitude. None of my exes if that happily married ones with kids will hang up.

With regards to what we had. She was the one messsing up. Going out dancing and coming home 6am with the phone off. Getting rides with ex boyfriends. Accepting gifts from new friends (that are guys).