"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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contact her or just wait

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rob1234

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Hello guys,

i have got a little question her for you:

I've met a nice girl on a vacation, kissed her etc...... see seems to have a very high IL, because see will drive 140 kilometres ( about 65 miles i've i am correct).. to my house soon... i've set up a date with her in my hometown( i gave her some options, but see choose this one)..

one question:

-date is scheduled, should i contact her (its a week between initial contact and date)..
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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J

Joe Stud

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Quote:
one question:

-date is scheduled,

DATE IS SCHEDULED WHEN??? IF IT'S TOMORROW, THERES A DIFFERENT APPROACH THAN IF IT'S NEXT WEEK!
 
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rob1234

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it's scheduled this weekend and the appointment was made friday (so a week between scheduling and the date)
 
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Joe Stud

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Cool Rob. I would wait at least until this coming friday, late afternoon. No sense acting over-anxious. Hopefully she contacts you beforehand.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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rob1234

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Thanks for the advice Joe..i think i will contact her friday-evening ,somebody with a different advice?
 
amoka

amoka

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Why contact her when you already scheduled with her? What do you plan on telling her?... to remind her of the date? It is your hometown. If she shows up, she shows up. If she's going to be late, it her that should be calling you in that regard. If she doesn't show up, well, you know her IL wasn't that high after all.
 
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jophil28

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rob1234 said:
Hello guys,

i have got a little question her for you:

I've met a nice girl on a vacation, kissed her etc...... see seems to have a very high IL, because see will drive 140 kilometres ( about 65 miles i've i am correct).. to my house soon... i've set up a date with her in my hometown( i gave her some options, but see choose this one)..

one question:

-date is scheduled, should i contact her (its a week between initial contact and date)..
Click to expand...
"..a little question.." hmmm, you sound timid.

IF a woman will drive 140 Km ( about 90 miles) to see a new guy, then she is interested - very interested .. so if I were you I would do nothing except prepare yourself to have a fine time.

What do you mean , " ..gave her some options.." ?
 
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rob1234

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Hey Jophil,

with "What do you mean , " ..gave her some options.." ?" = some places where we could meet each other.... so halfway /at her place/ at my house, but see choose to drive 90 miles:)....
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jophil28

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rob1234 said:
Hey Jophil,

with "What do you mean , " ..gave her some options.." ?" = some places where we could meet each other.... so halfway /at her place/ at my house, but see choose to drive 90 miles:)....
Click to expand...
Ok, got ya.
 
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rob1234

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allright, question now.. should i contact her tommorow? or should i wait?
I think wait till the date.. but on the other hand, maybe she will flake out because i waited 8 days to contact her...
(something like...: you didn't contact me... so its obvious you're not very interested)..p.s she has i very high IL with me (see previous message)..
 
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jophil28

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If she shows up without any prompting from you then you can read that as high IL. Not a bad test of how she feels about you.
IF she is having second thoughts and is unsure, then she will contact you with some fluff excuse - then you take charge and re-assure her that the meet is ON .
IF she does not contact you, does not call then does not show up then that disqualifies her. No Flakes - ever. Zero tolerance.

What I would have done in your position is to keep her warmed up with a couple of C&F emails during the week.
Secondly, I gather that she 'chose' to make the drive to see you. If she keeps to the plan then you also know that this is a woman who does what she says ( at least so far ).
 
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rob1234

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instant update:

See came all the way to my place, we've dated (went to live-music event). afterwards we chilled at my place, we went the whole way (kissed,f**ked.)

But this morning she turned cold on me, she was laughing etc and very ****y, but when she left, she went from hot to cold. she did't want a third date. (she told me this because i asked" is there a followed up date?")
she answered with: it do't think so, youre a cool dude, but i miss that last sparkle/ click... and i wanted to sms you to tell this..., she went out the door and drove back to her place..... so thats the ending of this story, it's her loss... i will not phone her or email her
I think this girl only wanted a ONS....... thanks for the advice.....

Somebody any idea where i went wrong?? so that i can prevent this from happening again next time??
 
Last edited:
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jophil28

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Sometimes the switch is just flicked to "off" by the feminine hand of swirling emotion...and you will never know why .

I can't tell you what you did wrong (if anything) because only she and you were present.
However, your question,"Is there a follow up date ?" is chumpspeak. It has a pleading tone about it .
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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rob1234

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yup, the situation was very strange, just in the last minute or so, like i will leave you now, and " went cold" no kisses, and bye bye...

everything i achieved, just gone... it happen't before with my ex-gf.. from hot to cold.. and than no contact /email/sms..( is this a way of acting for all girls?? ---> IL 95 drops suddenly to IL 35)

the strange things is that she was totally in too me....until she was leaving...WTF is that...??
 
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Serg897

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These things happen. Women can be unpredictable at times. The important thing is that now you become detached. Having a great date then suddenly turning cold on you is not good news - its not the kind of woman you want to be with anyway. Let her be for a while and see if she contacts you, meanwhile live your life and meet more women.
 
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romanticman

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My friend take solace in my words. She was a player too. Drove all the way to you for one reason and its all over. Maybe she is married or attached. This is typical of an attached womans behaviour. Even more that she drove so far away out of her area.
The reasons are endless. I have learnt the hard way...enjoy the moment . We cant ask for anything more.Good luck.
 
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rob1234

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ok, she wasn't married or attached, i know for sure....i think she' s maybe a female player....but maybe the distance between us did her "flake out".. but she was also a girl who loves to go out...and ofcourse i ve enjoyed the moment:)

getting a ONS and no strings attached.., but is was weird, because i thought this girl really was a "girl for a relationship" i guess i was wrong all the time..
 
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