contact ex?

[Don Legend]

Hello all, as a follow up on my last post about my ex, i have a question. I've had a pretty rough few months and when i've seen my ex, its been mostly akdward other than one time where we talked for a while.
The problem i've got is that we have a load of the same friends and yesterday night i saw her get together with her close friend and a sort of friend of mine. I said hi to them (more to him really) and thanked him for the party when i left, even though they were hugging etc, that sucked. Anyway, i must admit i had been trying to get her back, but after last night, i kinda realised its not ganna happen and now it wouldn't be the same. I was thinking of texting her and saying something along the lines of

"hiya, i hope you and (lets say Dan) work out, i assume your going out. i hope that things won't be akdward between us and that there is no bad feeling. I would like it, if you and me could be friends?"

I know that most advice is stay away from exes, but i think its going to be pretty difficult since we have the same friends. Plus, im finding it mentally draining to keep away from her, or how i should be around her, like last night, i didn't want to look like a chump (i hope i did ok) I figure theres no point keeping a bad vibe between us or burning bridges? I was just wondering if this makes me seem ok with everything and not bitter etc or completely AFC? Ins some ways its more for me, in that asking to be friends, kinda puts a end to it all, even if we are or not. Cheers

 

[drake]

Well, you sound young. HS or maybe college. If that is the case, who cares about your ex. Trust me. Im about to be 25 (not old) but I have been through this time and time again. The best thing you can do is to ignore them like they are the plague. It drives them crazy.

I ignored my ex the day she wanted to take a break. 1 month later on the dot she called and was YELLING AT ME wondering what the hell was going on?

Just put into effect the sour grapes theory. She is not a plup juicy grap. She is sour and as soon as your bite into it you wish that you never did. Disdain things you cannot have. The more attention you show an enemy the stronger you make them.

IGNORE THIS WOMAN, even if you do like her. You are making her stronger the more attention you give her.

You can chase your shadow forever, but notice what happens to that shadow when you walk away from it. It starts following you!!

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by Don Legend
I was thinking of texting her and saying something along the lines of

"hiya, i hope you and (lets say Dan) work out, i assume your going out. i hope that things won't be akdward between us and that there is no bad feeling. I would like it, if you and me could be friends?"

Bad, bad, bad idea. Sure, you want to - however, even you realize it's useless, pointless, and moreover dumb to do that. If there's bad feelings, you'll know soon enough since you have the same friends. There's no possibility that you and her can be friends due to your past history... it would take nothing short of a miracle... and you yourself know this or you would have just text'd her instead of asking us what we thought about the situation. You don't hope her and "Dan" work out, so don't pretend otherwise. Don't text her, don't call her, don't write her sappy poems. In short, move on with your life, and give her the cold shoulder when you see her out.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: contact ex?

Originally posted by diablo
Bad, bad, bad idea. Sure, you want to - however, even you realize it's useless, pointless, and moreover dumb to do that. If there's bad feelings, you'll know soon enough since you have the same friends. There's no possibility that you and her can be friends due to your past history... it would take nothing short of a miracle... and you yourself know this or you would have just text'd her instead of asking us what we thought about the situation. You don't hope her and "Dan" work out, so don't pretend otherwise. Don't text her, don't call her, don't write her sappy poems. In short, move on with your life, and give her the cold shoulder when you see her out.

Us old timers have a term for guys have to give in because they can't stand being without their ex; "pvssy whipped."

 

[cave dweller]

ex..........

Hey,

It didn't work then and it won't work now.
It is over, so,.......Move On.

cave dweller

 

[Andromax]

Yeah man,

Being friends with your ex is nearly impossible. I mean, you could be friendly acquiantances, but its just going to be harder on the person that wants the other back.

I never wanted to be friends with chicks I dumped, even though I told them I would be. I just kept contact to a minimum for their own good.

When a girl broke up with me, I stopped contacting them too, starting dating again quickly and thus far not one of them has yet failed to express interest in dating me again shortly afterward. Though I havent gone back to one of them, because I had made the decision to MOVE ON.

Had a weak ex related moment once, found out an LTR I broke up with had a new BF. Well then I wanted her back, but I came to realize it was just jealousy, and now I am sincerely happy that she is with someone that truly wants to be with her.

So.. since you've been down the path of your EX, move on to some females that have fresh things to offer you, such as affection !

Life is too short to be hung up on an undeserving female.

 

[Don Legend]

Thank you for the replies, i didn't txt her in the end, it really wouldn't have helped the situation. Im nearly 21 at uni, and it was my 2nd relationship, so i guess i lack the experience you guys have. Seems like i'm missing something when it comes down to moving on from ex-girlfriends. First relationship i practically begged her back, so at least i've improved this time since i haven't done anything that bad. Its like i know what to do but i don't have any conviction in it. I know that its over and that i deserve better, but i think i got myself in to deep with her. Now, i keep thinking about her and wanting her back, especially when i see her. It doesn't help that she's a 9/10 in looks, and her new bloke isn't much compared to me. I guess i am ***** whipped, i know i can get other girls, but i don't feel like i can choose when. Still don't really approach many girls. I've been in no contact for months now, but i think i need to start ignoring and avoiding her as much as possible now. I guess i'm just worrying too much.

 

[Andromax]

Read the bible in its entirety will help you immensely if you have not done so. There are articles that talk about everything that you are going through and much, much more.

Link here to bible, the bootcamp, and other great reading material, bookmark it