Constant

[disgustipated]

One of Rollos post about how there is no rest for men, how women are incapable of maternal type love towards us and how we incorporated this into traditional wedding vows...the need to have a break from the upkeep of having a woman, that unconditional love. Well all of.that is ringing so true for me now. Been with the same girl for a month now, gamed her from the start...got her, many many times. Passed so many **** tests but STILL they keep coming....it gets tiring....even though its relatively new still. There was an epic.post by a Mark Minter in one of his blogs about the bs we go through for marginal *****yy, and how he was going to pump.and dump. I'm starting to sympathize with that viewpoint?

What do the guys who are in newish relationships do when the ****t tests become too much? Take a step back?

 

[Die Hard]

Not saying that it is the end all be all for this problem, but I think it sure helps if you set a REALLY strong frame and establish dominance from the start.

That's what I did with my current girlfriend. It's like when you start a poker tournament and right away at the first hand, you go all in. The other guys will think twice before they try to bluff you out of a hand, coz you've shown your balls and your willingness to put all you have at risk.

In my case, I showed my girl right away that I was willing to walk. She was trying to play games with me and I immediately ended things between us. This was after we knew each other for a few weeks. I gave her a chance to sit down and talk about things, after all. Made clear what I will accept and what I won't accept. Since that day, she has been extremely devoted and humble to me. No game playing, no sh!t tests, no nothing. She's too afraid that I will walk, too afraid that she might say or do something wrong.

Many girls will leave you and tell you to go fvck yourself when you behave like this. They'll find themselves another guy, one that is easier to handle... So there are nog guarantees, you can only change a girl to a certain extent, you know. So setting a strong frame and establishing dominance from the start is one part of the picture... The other part is simply weeding out a "good girl" that will ACCEPT your frame and dominance.

 

[Die Hard]

Interesting thread. I have been dating a girl now for 6 weeks.Here are this weekend's "events".

1. She changed her Facebook status to "In a relationship" a week ago. I did not, don't use Facebook much, and prefer NOT to have my status known. It doesn't say single, it is just not visible. I have mentioned on FB I have a girlfriend, so it is NOT a secret, but that apparently isn't enough. We never talked about doing this, she never asked my opinion, just changed her status. Now, she has mentioned 3 or 4 times this weekend "why didn't you change your status" I never said I would prioir, or since.I simply replied "I don't believe in that" And I don't...avoids all the questions if things fall apart, and you change it back to single.

So what's the problem, really? You say you're in a relationship yourself, so why not put it in your status? "I don't believe in that" isn't really a reason, what's that supposed to mean anyway? So what is the reason? Is it because you want to keep her chasing after you and don't want to become too complacent to her? If not, I'm curious what your reason is...

2. Told me my pants were too long "I replied "Do you see the cuff in the bottom" She said "yes". I said, "Then, I guess if I did that, I know they are too long". She said "But it's not cool" I replied "I really don't care about cool"

Don't be too serious. Of course you decide what clothes you wear yourself, it's none of her business. But you should communicate that message with some humor, not in a serious tone. I can't tell you what to say word for word, just convey the message in a '****y&funny' style.

3.Told me last night "Honey, your coffee table is dirty" It was, slightly. I replied "Then why don't you clean it"

Same advice: Be '****y&funny', sounds like you were ONLY ****y here...

4.Asked me if I had a lid for the cat food (as I was putting Saran Wrap on it...if I had a lid, wouldn't I use one?) I replied "no"

What's the big deal? Let her ask stupid questions, lol. Just shrug such a question off with 'amused mastery', you don't get frustrated when a little kid asks you stupid questions either, do you?

What the hell. This behaviour just started, up to this point, things were cool. Thoughts?

Things are STILL cool, you're making trouble over nothing. Chill down, relax, be playful!

 

[disgustipated]

Tip on the FB thing that works wonders for me. First I only go on there for peoples birthdays and such that I don't have day to day contact with, then I deactivate. Second, I never friend any girl that I date....ever. I tell them up front, fb is not reality, is rather have our relationship in real life Blah Blah Blah. Never really had any of them cause a stink bout it either.

Die hard, I thought about doing a very abrupt pullback to set things right or reframe. Decided against it. Trying to up my leading when I'm with her without it coming off try hard. She wants me to lead, but she keeps trying to lead a bit herself...so I have to be on my toes about going too much on autopilot and letting her plan out too.much stuff.