Connection

[Murk]

What does it mean?

It’s the thing that transcends HB levels. It’s sharing personal experiences and letting women in, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and letting someone see the real you.

Hot women are great, good sex is great, but it means very little without connection.

LMS doesn’t get you connection with a partner. Shared experiences, time and therefore bonding, gets you connections. It’s a horrible thing once the inevitable split happens. I connected with an awful ex with low compatibility, but whatever she did have, hooked up, and I ate it hook line and sinker.

I’m now 8 new partners in to 9 weeks of being single. I think back to my ex and remember the stress, jealously, bitterness and lack of trust but still yearn for her. I’m currently spinning better looking plates that give me better sex and even more affection and love from more intrinsically better human beings than her.

She walked away. That is the frustrating thing that has me pedastalising her. It’s the old adage of wanting what you can’t have, more importantly what doesn't want you. She doesn’t want you and it hurts. It’s hard because she’s happy without you.

The new ones have all made it too easy. I want the resistance, fighting and ultimately the depth she provided. I feel like I will never find it. She hit me on 3 separate occasions and even wished my grandad to die in Miami but I see past it and would give anything to be in bed with her again.

Stockholm syndrome, a love for drama my friends and therapist called it. I need whatever the fvck she was selling, and I won’t be content without it again.

Fml I’m screwed.

 

[wifehunter]

Oneitis sucks, best way to avoid it is, not to touch women or get involved. I know this goes against kino, and all that...but bonding happens, and it's not a choice. It's the human experience.

People can choose to not get emotionally involved (fwb, casual sex, etc.) but that just opens people up to catch the dreaded oneitis, or a nasty STD/VD.

Thinking you can stop a hurricane, is foolishness.

 

[Murk]

This thread is the result of me being wasted last night. On the plus side I didn't email my ex this weekend. I have 2 new girls willing to come straight to my house to drink and fvck. Progress.

 

[wifehunter]

This thread is the result of me being wasted last night. On the plus side I didn't email my ex this weekend. I have 2 new girls willing to come straight to my house to drink and fvck. Progress.

ewwwww....sluts.

 

[Murk]

I'm legit trying to find "the one" but will continue to spin sluts while I search. Isn't that the best way to do it? This way I keep my tools sharp ready to attack anything that seems particularly high value.

 

[logicallefty]

This thread is the result of me being wasted last night. .

to you for admitting this. I think we have more of this on this forum than folks will admit. Done it myself a few times.

 

[Roober]

I'm legit trying to find "the one" but will continue to spin sluts while I search. Isn't that the best way to do it? This way I keep my tools sharp ready to attack anything that seems particularly high value.

Everyone here is doing the same, whether they choose to admit it or not. We are social creatures..

The whole process of plate spinning is finding the right woman for you. Look at the basis of Pook and fundamental stuff, it is about standing for your values, and getting the best woman possible. Plate spinning is essentially shopping for a mate. It is so much about what people preach, "you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else". Unfortunately, many people preach the idea, they just don't execute it.

 

[Serenity]

Stockholm syndrome, a love for drama my friends and therapist called it. I need whatever the fvck she was selling, and I won’t be content without it again.

Literally 2 seconds before reaching this part I thought about Stockholm's syndrome, you got it right by yourself.

It's not progress in life to seek what you've had, to go back to the comfortable. That is stagnation, regardless of it being an abusive ex or the sweet complacency of something else. I wouldn't say to avoid any pain, but instead to embrace it and find it in other forms. Such as pushing your limits, doing something hard that is not without risk. Life can be dramatic without someone feeding it to you or you feeding it to others.

Right now your comfort zone is with your ex and the abuse you've gotten used to. You will need to go beyond your personal comfort zone. That doesn't imply more extreme abuse btw, it can be anything that makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable, even nice things.

 

[BeExcellent]

What does it mean?

It’s the thing that transcends HB levels. It’s sharing personal experiences and letting women in, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and letting someone see the real you.

Hot women are great, good sex is great, but it means very little without connection.

LMS doesn’t get you connection with a partner. Shared experiences, time and therefore bonding, gets you connection

I get you were trashed when you made the thread...however I think it's a topic not talked about much here but as others have alluded to it's what most people are looking for at the end of the day in some way, shape, or form.

Connection is an alchemy between two people that is enigmatic, nebulous, and inexact. It's a combination of compatibility and chemistry that brings more to the interaction than meets the eye or the casual observer. Real connection is rare between two people and it doesn't exist between every couple that are seeing one another. And it derives from the two people in combination and is unique.

That uniqueness trumps a lot of things. In OP's case he talks about being with better looking women for example, or women who were better in bed...but women who didn't satisfy him in as total a way as the chick he had bonded with. Much of a real relationship takes place outside the bedroom. Sex is very important, yes indeed, but sex alone cannot sustain anything lasting if you have nothing else in common or don't like your partner as a person. But to have the depth, meaning, emotional investment with someone you also enjoy the sexual experience with? That is one of life's great pleasures and great mysteries.

Once you experience real connection with someone it's hard to settle for less than that again. Kind of like men here talk about alpha widows, it's a similar thing. If connection is important to you then IMO it's best to hold out for someone that you can have connection with, even if you as a man are still getting your sexual (for example) needs met as you can in the meantime.

Even the most jaded players eventually want to be known, to feel understood, to be loved and to love. It's a basic human drive and there is nothing wrong with desiring that state of being, and that comfort in life.

 

[Murk]

I'm definitely holding out for that connection and will just side step any women that want's to get serious until I find that feeling again. It's just not worth the time and investment.

 

[Spaz]

This thread is the result of me being wasted last night. On the plus side I didn't email my ex this weekend. I have 2 new girls willing to come straight to my house to drink and fvck. Progress.

Getting wasted, sleeping around, all this will make you feel more shallow, hollow and empty.

This will prolonge your recovery process.

Do something that's positive for yourself and quickens the healing process.

Example; hang out with people that loves you, getting a new hobby, basically surround yourself with positive energy.

All that's needed to heal is time.

And once u r healed, your mind is in the right place to play the field once more.