Connection to parts of my identity are holding me back

[gwoppin]

In this thread, I'm not asking for your advice, but for your own experiences with this

There are parts of myself I have been able to find the root of, understand why and how they occur in me, been able come to terms with and change them for the better.

Despite being able to change some aspects, I am still very attached to the most predominant parts of my personality. (Ego investment?) These interests and parts of my personality drag me down by taking me back to my old ways.

What are your personal experiences with this?

 

[Paper Crane]

You gotta be way more specific bro. You're asking people to share things but being super vague about your own experiences and what exactly you are talking about

It sounds like this could be a great thread topic but I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say

 

[Barrister]

In this thread, I'm not asking for your advice, but for your own experiences with this

There are parts of myself I have been able to find the root of, understand why and how they occur in me, been able come to terms with and change them for the better.

Despite being able to change some aspects, I am still very attached to the most predominant parts of my personality. (Ego investment?) These interests and parts of my personality drag me down by taking me back to my old ways.

What are your personal experiences with this?

First, how old are you? Changing yourself can always be done -- but obviously much easier the younger you are. Second, what exactly is it you are trying to change and why? Knowing your motivation for wanting to change can help us give you some advice.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Despite being able to change some aspects, I am still very attached to the most predominant parts of my personality. (Ego investment?) These interests and parts of my personality drag me down by taking me back to my old ways.

I don't know what you do for a living but I bet you could have a successful career as a writer of fortune cookie messages

 

[gwoppin]

You gotta be way more specific bro. You're asking people to share things but being super vague about your own experiences and what exactly you are talking about

It sounds like this could be a great thread topic but I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say

You gotta be way more specific bro. You're asking people to share things but being super vague about your own experiences and what exactly you are talking about

It sounds like this could be a great thread topic but I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say

Growing up I was socialised by rap music, skateboarding culture, video games and basically anything that your mother would hate, whilst idolosing figures in those cultures as well as other men in my life who were bad role models. the stereotype of me you are depicting in your head right now is probably correct.

The ****ty attitude and negative patterns set by the degenerate, teenaged version of me that this has created keeps seeping through the cracks of who i am trying to become and stunting my progress.

How do I kill / control this part of me?

 

[Paper Crane]

Growing up I was socialised by rap music, skateboarding culture, video games and basically anything that your mother would hate, whilst idolosing figures in those cultures as well as other men in my life who were bad role models. the stereotype of me you are depicting in your head right now is probably correct.

The ****ty attitude and negative patterns set by the degenerate, teenaged version of me that this has created keeps seeping through the cracks of who i am trying to become and stunting my progress.

How do I kill / control this part of me?

I can sorta relate to this man. I'm 29 now and I can tell you that.. sometimes life will do it for you, and if you wait for life to do it for you, it will probably be in a very harsh and visceral way.

I think honestly one of the best options for you is go to college man. College teaches us how to become more professional, it takes us to the next tier of our life.. if we haven't succumbed to already finding a trade, work, career or profession otherwise. It's really hard to break out of those old patterns when you don't have new patterns to replace them with.

That, or join the military.

 

[gwoppin]

I grew up going to many schools as a young kid. Always in fights. (New kid)
My dad is great but he married a horrre. Is what it is. Then a woman with 6 kids lol. Wow
I was never abused and actually had a cool childhood but i developed thoughts over time.
Then
I heard this sentence in a book that no one ever said to me.
" you are not your thoughts"
Blew my azz away and changed my life.
Those thoughts fed my ego for years and created this ego that I thought was an identity. Its not and it has gotten better ever since.
Thinking can literally kill you if you let it. I personally think its the devil and anyone interested why DM me and ill give you the reference. No not the bible but same story different book.

I've been operating with the mindset from that quote for the past few months, but sometimes that little voice that says 'Hey, go and do that ****ty thing because THIS is your identity' becomes too loud and takes over.

What was your ego/identity like before you changed it? Just curious

 

[gwoppin]

I can sorta relate to this man. I'm 29 now and I can tell you that.. sometimes life will do it for you, and if you wait for life to do it for you, it will probably be in a very harsh and visceral way.

I think honestly one of the best options for you is go to college man. College teaches us how to become more professional, it takes us to the next tier of our life.. if we haven't succumbed to already finding a trade, work, career or profession otherwise. It's really hard to break out of those old patterns when you don't have new patterns to replace them with.

That, or join the military.

Life did it for me at one point about 3 years ago, and created a lot of stress and trauma, which I currently go to therapy for. Its that little voice that creeps up and gets too strong, temporarily getting rid of that stronger mindset that was built through that experience.

I will be continuing studying to become a personal trainer / dietitian in a couple of months from home, and I hope that helps bring new light from that responsibility