"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Confusing situation

Pathgen

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I will keep it short. A girl that i was dating a while back invited me to a get together the other day. Then she sent me a text saying it would be her and her to girl friends. Me not liking just hanging out with the three of them (have done so in the past and it isnt entertaining at all and her friends arent real lookers) told her that it was cool if she just wanted to make it a girls night.

She at first asks to see if im sure and i say yeah i dont mind. So we go our seperate ways and i begin to enjoy my evening. At around 5 pm i get a text but dont receive it till much later. She says she has booze and wants me to come over. When i got this text i immediately kind of got agitated because i felt like i was jerked around. I didn't let her know that i was mad, but i was. Truth be told i had nothing else to really do that night even though i had more fun playing ball with my brother than i might have at her house. However, had i known that i would have not had plans i might have tried to make other plans.

This isn't the only event like this. When she is around me i get these mixed signals like she can't decide if she wants to get something going with me again. I dont really care other than i just want to hit it before i go back to college lol.

What do you guys think?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheBucketOfTruth

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She invited you over and you didn't want to go, so you went to do something else. Then you get a text from her asking you to come over again, and now you're mad? About what? How is she jerking you around? What I've read is you were invited out multiple times and said no, then you get mad after reading she has alcohol. Something is missing here.
 

Accension

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I think that she's probably your sole investment in that your entire weekend well being shoouldn't be invested on one girl, one needs backup plans.

Not only will her knowing you have other options increase your value but she's less likely to screw you around if she knows you'll just drop her for something more together.

You made a good call with the friends thing, unless you're fairly together her friends will trouble you when you want to at least K close.
Sometimes a girl has really awesome friends and you can just hookup in front of them and it's no big deal, you need to be the guy that can and if you're not very casual and cool about kissing it won't happen.

Sounds like she's pretty interested anyway, she tried multiple times but you turned her down.
You won't get laid before going back to collegue if you don't get out there :yes:.

You should really try enjoy your break, you could have crazy "I won't see you in ages!" goodbye sex but you have to get out there!
 

shaunuk

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I can understand you not hanging with her and her girlfriends, but you're mad when she asked you again if you'd like to go round? Just sounds like she wanted you there, nothing to get mad about.....
 

Commandante

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Pathgen said:
A girl that i was dating a while back invited me to a get together the other day.
What does it mean? Did you have 1on1 dates in the past?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Pathgen

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Ok i should have been a bit more specific as to why i was mad. Our convo went like this:

Me: Actually if you three want to have a girls night id be cool with that.
Her: (texts go back and forth saying that she can't decide whether or not i would be bored or it would be awkward, she is being indecisive, so i try and lead her in a way cause she is just wasting time)
Me: How about this I will come over and if it gets boring ill leave (thinking if it turns into something i had nothing else planned and if it didnt i had an easy way out)

After this she agrees so thats the plan.

Then she texts me letting me asking if its a girls only night. Since i said i was cool with it earlier i said yes.

Then she texts me later to reinvite me thats why i was mad. I guess i felt jerked around it wasn't like i declined twice exactly...

Another note: One of her friends might have persuaded her to uninvite me (what i think happened) cause we are like oil and water. We get along we just don't have fun together. The other friend likes me though =D

I also realize she could be indecisive about wheter we are are friends or if she wants something more (not what i want) and the invite/uninvite could be her indecisiveness, but id like to know cause its annoying and i would probably drop her instead of trying to see her again before i leave only to find out she is undecisive its the most unnatractive quality....

She has also never cancelled plans in the couple of times that i have seen her since i got back (timing wasn't right for anything fun ;-D)

What does it mean? Did you have 1on1 dates in the past?
She was my exclusive gf for a while, so yes
 

marinetti

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If a girl has alcohol, tells you she has alcohol, and then invites you over, she is attracted to you.

Think about it. If she wasn't attracted, would she invite you over? Of course NOT.

If you have fun and prove to her AND HER FRIENDS that you are a cool, normal guy, she'll sleep with you.

But if you're going to get angry and fool around like this instead... well, then you sit at home by yourself.

Questions?
 
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