Confusing Girl in a Confusing Situation. Help a brother out!

[Jug_head_man]

Background: We're both in college, im a junior shes a sophomore. I work with her at a gym but we only see eachother about once a month at work. Im a fitness model on the side so Im not a swamp donkey by any means. Shes an HB8 with an awesome personality. Her boyfriend broke up with her in September after a little less than one year, he was cheating on her with another girl, his current girlfriend. Shes only had 2 boyfriends.

Problem: Im not much for relationships since I had my heart broken a while ago so ive been doing my thing in college. This year however I always had my eye on her from work so we started talking a lot. Halloween comes by and we hook up (everything but sex). She tells me the next morning we cant do this for a while? We keep talking and hangin out a lot. Im still doing my thing on the side but my feeligns are growing stronger because she an amazing girl. January rolls around and I finally confront her about halloween but she gives me the friend line! I say ok cool (actually really upset) but I decide to keep her around because shes a cool person and a great friend.

Last night we were drunk and hook up again. She tells me she doesnt know what to do because she has feelings for me but doesnt know how to act upon them. She still has feelings for the EX! She then sends me a text when she leaves...

Her:Sry for being so undecisive... its completely unfair to you. So thanks for stickin by. I just need to figure myself out rightnow.

What do I do now? Im soooo confused, I had accepted her as a friend but now im just confused. I would love to be with her so whats the best move? Keep doing what im doing?

 

[ucmedv8]

I would backoff a bit so she can figure things out. Try and avoid her at work and outside of work. Get her to miss what you guys had, maybe even use another girl to get her jealous and miss you more. Then maybe she'll realize that she is into you. Only problem is you may find someone better in the process, or she may find someone else, but if you're happier as a result then it's a win-win situation.

 

[jdjd]

time is the only solution i tell you

 

[donif871]

I would backoff a bit so she can figure things out. Try and avoid her at work and outside of work. Get her to miss what you guys had, maybe even use another girl to get her jealous and miss you more. Then maybe she'll realize that she is into you. Only problem is you may find someone better in the process, or she may find someone else, but if you're happier as a result then it's a win-win situation.

Bullseye..:rockon:

let her go..make her know, just how happy she is, when she's with you

 

[Jug_head_man]

Hmmm.. I see. I messed up late last night in a drunken stupor and drunk texted her with no response. We had talked a little earlier, short period and she asked for me to text her later if I wanted. I messed up yea but I figure whatever.

Anyother advice guys? Your right, time will only tell and I have to back off a little even though it sucks to.

 

[horaholic]

The best thing you can do is start dating other women. It will get your mind off of her, and raise your value to her at the same time. You have to stay away from her. Drunk tests will turn her off big time. You might consider erasing her number, so you dont do shyt like that. The unfortunate fact is, situations like yours rarely go anywhere good. Her feelings for you arent as strong as she tells you either. Do you think shed be so confused if you were Brad Pitt?

You also need to accept the possibility that she's using you for validation. (I dont mean intentionally trying to fvck with your head, dont get me wrong) I find it really hard to believe girls when they spout out the, "Im not ready for anything right now," line. I've fell for that too many times. Girls coming after ME, then backing off giving me the same line as yours. Then they always end up with some dude they just met, after promising you "if you just be patient, we sill get together, I just need time."

Like the mighty Pook said, 'Im not ready for a relationship right now" means "I dont want a relationship with YOU right now." (cuz if Brad Pitt hit on her, she'd be over her ex REAL quick, proving that her interest level isnt as high as she claims.)

For you own sanity, lose her number, date other girls, be cool to her if you run into her, but do not be 'friends,' unless you want to hear about how much of an ******* the guy fvcking her is. Tell her to call you if, and only if, she figures it out.

 

[Jug_head_man]

I understand exactly what you're saying but the second I stop contacting her shes going to start contacting me. She initiates anyways and we work together and see eachother at the gym. Regardless if I only see her once amonth because of work its still going to be akward.

How do you go from talking to someone multiple times a week to not talking at all and appear normal and happy?