Confused, what this girl exactly means

[zindagi]

well I have a different scenario here. When I went on date, this girl gave me lip kiss on our 4th date. We talked a lot over the sms and phone. Every time we see each other we used to give lip kiss. But since August end we have met only two times. She says she is busy with work and family, and I trust her completely. Last time when I met her 5 weeks ago we went for a movie and after we did lip kiss but then i tried to kiss (french) her but she said "i can't kiss you, and please when i feel like it". I got the hint that she somewhat not ready or I may be going to fast or I should say "we" both were going to fast. But I want to know What does she exactly mean by when she said that particular line to me.

I was pissed from past a week and did not send any text message, no call, no fbook and no msn at all. She didn't react either, however, today I receive sms from her saying "how are you". I actually like her, i like her a lot, but then other side what she said last time has just played over my brain.

How about this?

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594
Should the above rule applies in this situation?

Lets see what your guys opinions.

 

[Igetit!]

well I have a different scenario here. When I went on date, this girl gave me lip kiss on our 4th date. We talked a lot over the sms and phone. Every time we see each other we used to give lip kiss. But since August end we have met only two times. She says she is busy with work and family,

The "I'm busy" line is a LIE.

It's November. You say that since August,you two have only had 2 dates.

Two dates? In 3 months?

Come on man,no one is that busy.


Think about it:in the beginning,everything was fine,right...or at least until the fourth date.





Well between date number 1 and date number 4,how much time had passed?

I'm sure it wasn't 3 months.

Last time when I met her 5 weeks ago we went for a movie and after we did lip kiss but then i tried to kiss (french) her but she said "i can't kiss you, and please when i feel like it".

Listen to what this girl said to you.

In order to get physical with a guy,a woman needs to have emotions and feelings towards him. They don't have to be all "deep",but they do have to be present.




Look at what she said. She said,"I can't kiss you,and please when I FEEL like it.



So that means right then and there while you were trying to kiss her,she didn't "feel" like it. She didn't have those romantic feelings towards you.



I don't know how long you've known her,but since you said something about "since the end of August",I take it you've known her a while.




This "I don't feel it" remark of hers was 5 weeks ago,so that means after having 5 dates with you and knowing you for 3 to 4 months,she still doesn't have attraction for you.



You shouldn't be confused about her. She told you flat out she doesn't have "feelings" or attraction for you,then she avoids you for the last 3 months.




Where's the confusion coming in at?

I got the hint that she somewhat not ready or I may be going to fast or I should say "we" both were going to fast.

Going too fast? After 3 or 4 months?

Oh pul-lease.


Look,if a girl isn't attracted to you,you could wait 6 months to try to kiss her,and to her you'd be moving too fast.

But I want to know What does she exactly mean by when she said that particular line to me.

If you mean the "when I feel like it" line,she meant exactly what she said.

That's why she has no problem going 3 months without seeing you,because she has no feeling for you,or at least not enough to put in any effort into seeing you.

I was pissed from past a week and did not send any text message, no call, no fbook and no msn at all. She didn't react either...

Yeah,because she doesn't care.

however, today I receive sms from her saying "how are you".

Oh,ok...I see.

So after being busy for the past 3 months straight,when you go a few days of not contacting her,then "magically",she suddenly found time to get in touch with you.

I actually like her, i like her a lot, but then other side what she said last time has just played over my brain.

What she meant was she's not that into you.


She has affection for you since you two have known each other for a while,but attraction...not so much.


The info in the "Just got dumped guide" won't work with this situation.


To be dumped implies that there was a romantic relationship previously.



This girl already told you she doesn't have those feelings for you.




It may be possible to turn this around,but not with the just got dumped guide.

 

[zindagi]

well everything was fine at the beginning. I mean we met 6 times in the month of August and then after that only 2 times. Like last time when I saw her was on Sept 20th and then nothing after. She said she is busy with her family and stuff. The main problem happened after I met her in the end of Aug. I went to her home (she invited me inside) I was talking to her and then her dad came up and started yelling at her that he doesn't like anybody in the house. After that date I met her only once in Sept and nothing after. However, she was still texting me.

In order to get physical with a guy,a woman needs to have emotions and feelings towards him. They don't have to be all "deep",but they do have to be present.

To this point, well she was the one who kissed me first on our 4th date and we kissed again after on every date. But you say something different here.

You shouldn't be confused about her. She told you flat out she doesn't have "feelings" or attraction for you,then she avoids you for the last 3 months.

So basically here you are trying to tell me that she doesn't have any feelings towards me and I should move on? or a different words that you may have to disclose?

That's why she has no problem going 3 months without seeing you,because she has no feeling for you,or at least not enough to put in any effort into seeing you.

Not 3months, 2 months in next 2 weeks.

.....
Finally coming to the point. When her dad see me at her he started yelling and being a good person I told him he don't have to yell at her I will just simply go outside, and I did even. Her dad is actually little screwed over the head because he always stays stuff to her. I know this may sound stupid to disclose here but once he kicked her out of the house in the midnight and she text me, I called her up and she was crying. And he have also yelled at her in front of me so I can imagine that her dad is little screwed at the brain.

However, what you say, I should do?

 

[Igetit!]

However, what you say, I should do?

More info is needed here.

Please try to answer these questions AS ACCURATELY AS you can.


1)How long have you known her?

2)You say she text you a lot. What does she generally say in these texts,and what do you say back? I don't need word for word,just a general idea.

3)How you two ever when farther than just kissing?


4)You said that she just recently sent you sms asking how you were. Have you to contacted each other since then? And how long did you two go without talking to each other before she sent you the sms?

Plus,what you you two talk about?




5)Do you flirt with her/make romantic or sexual remarks to her from time to time?

I didn't ask if you were vulgar,only if you flirt or not.



6)I know that you try to set up dates with her every now andthen,but is it all one-sided,or does she try to set up dates with you too?



Try to answer these questions as best you can.

I know you may not understand why I'm asking these things,but it would REALLY be helpful if you could answer them.

 

[zindagi]

1. well first time we talked over sms in last week of July then talked over the phone.

2. she usually say how busy she is and wants to see me...call me with names like bebe, hun, sweets and i reply back accordingly sometimes reply back exactly to her sentence and sometimes away from what she sent.

3. went farther den just kissin...hmmm i lifted her after we kissed...in our last date in 3rd week of Sept and nothing else other than this.

4. first i didn't reply to her text immediately or same day...i replied her like after 1 1/4 day. We spoke last time over the phone nd sms was on Oct 24 and then 2days ago she sent sms asking how are you.

5. I do flirt but not all the time...nd no sexual remarks...

6. She did try to setup dates but then she get some family stuffs nd sometimes the nature...like 1st week of oct she was coming to see me but then it rained the entire day.

 

[zindagi]

well in addition....i am an IT Pro...so in my college life i have always concentrated on studies and have got gud grades....nd specially in my classes there were no girls and i always had the classes when there are no other gurls in the entire campus.... i have always been focused on my career since 17 and been living alone since 19 and live alone so i had to work and study at same time nd now i work only..........plus this is my first relationship.

i hope this may help too in anything u want to suggest?

 

[Igetit!]

Well you want to date her,right? So go ahead and CALL HER UP,then ask her out.


But don't say something like,"Would you like to get together sometime?" or "Would you like to do this,or do that?".


That's being polite. You need to get past being "nice" and turn her on.


So CALL HER,see how she's doing/what she's been up to,then TELL HER you want to see her.


Tell her you're going to 'so and so place" and YOU WANT her to come with YOU.,and TELL HER to make sure she looks nice FOR YOU.


Yes,that's right...I said "for YOU".



I think she does have some interest in you,but it's low,REAL LOW.


If you don't stop playing around and get serious about dating her,she's going to go attention wh0re on you,while seeking some else to date.



Now...when you CALL HER and TELL HER you want to see her,if she gives you another excuse,DON'T ARGUE,DON'T GET ANGRY OR UPSET.



If she says ok,then you've got yourself a date. Take her out and enjoy yourselves.




If she gives you an excuse,just say,"Alright,that's cool. Well look,I gotta go,I'll holler at you later". Then end the phonecall.




At that point,I'd forget about her and move on to dating someone else,but I'm sure sooner or later,she'll you again. If she does,then I suggest you use the information in my signature.




Just go to the bottom of this reply,and click on the word "THIS!" and use those instructions.



It should put things back in your favor,BUT you'll need to follow it EXACTLY reguardless of how hard it may seem.

 

[zindagi]

Well you want to date her,right? So go ahead and CALL HER UP,then ask her out.


But don't say something like,"Would you like to get together sometime?" or "Would you like to do this,or do that?".


That's being polite. You need to get past being "nice" and turn her on.

well u r saying that if i want to date her?
but wasn't i already dating her? that i met her 7-8 times and we have kissed (lip kiss not the french kiss) too....

Tell her you're going to 'so and so place" and YOU WANT her to come with YOU.,and TELL HER to make sure she looks nice FOR YOU.

Yes,that's right...I said "for YOU".

I think she does have some interest in you,but it's low,REAL LOW.

If you don't stop playing around and get serious about dating her,she's going to go attention wh0re on you,while seeking some else to date.

so bringing this up I can go more further right?

 

[Igetit!]

well u r saying that if i want to date her?
but wasn't i already dating her? that i met her 7-8 times and we have kissed (lip kiss not the french kiss) too....

Well by "dating her",I meant for you two to be in a relationship,or to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

That's what I meant by "dating".


You two aren't "dating". You two just went out a few times with each other.

so bringing this up I can go more further right?

Go more further? Uhh...yeah. You can "go more further" with her.


But when you do this,talk to her like a MAN,put some bass in your voice.



You can't call her up and be all like,"Umm,umm,I hate to bother you,but I was just wondering if you'd like to...".


Call her up and be like....

You:Hey,what are you up to?

her: (whatever she says)

You:That's cool. Hey look,I WANT to see you. I'm going to (wherever) tomorrow night,and I WANT you to come WITH ME.


Be like that. If she says yes,take her out. If she gives you an excuse,do like I said in my previous post.