Confused What the hell's wrong with me?

[Senior Ding-Dong]

I fully realise that you've all heard this before but hey if you could be bothered then please pm me.
Anyway i'm generally an extremely confident person. I'm captain of my rowing club, very good at public speaking and coaching but that's where it stops. when in a group situation i'm quiet and to be honest boring. i believe this is due to not knowin what to say. my conversational skills aren't good and this is where i want major help for when talking to women. I'm i suspose a nice guy which pisses me off. i am funny but not ****y and i suspose this is due to my religious upbringing. I feel my confidence in a group situation is bad due to some people constantly putting me down and me not knowing how to reply to them. basically if u can answer any of my problems or post a discussion adress already on one of these probs then it would be a good help. cheers!

Another question is i know this girl very well and she's been going with a guy for 2 and a half years but she is constantly flirting, sitting on my knee , hugging etc and when she does this in a group situatin people begin to wonder what the hell's going on, she even does it in front of him !!! What is the crack with this??? I know she likes me because she asked me out years ago but i stupidly said no. she keeps joking about how i like her and jokingly says but you love me don't u. Can anyone give me great comebacks to when she say's something like this?

Thanks

 

[flexion_]

Well I wouldn't worry too much about how you are in a group situation - unless of course you are looking for group sex. How are you one-on-one with people? If you see a woman you like, just get her alone and talk to her like you would anyone else. Aside from that, joining some team sports may help you interact in a group environment.

About this girl, she is sitting on your lap in public infront of her boyfriend which means that she is doing it to make her boyfriend jealous = attention *****. Don't waste your time - she is most likely some flake or psych case.

 

[JSH]

How about: not as much as you love me = ****y (something you said that you were lacking), to the point (you rejected her) and shows you are not interested (will not hurt the guy).

She still wants you. Unfortunately most of the girls who i shut down (like said no as they were sluts) and whom i was mistaken about still havnt forgiven me. One or two act like you say this one does, i had a girl who has a real nice bf telling me that she prefers me way over him (ego trip but i dislike that.) Basically either tell her you are not interested or let her go on (giving you social proof and an option.)

If you are extremely confident and articulate then say anything in a group situation, if you are as you say, you will be able to carry it off. Not knowing what to say, you can talk about anything, the weather, your rowing club, you (might make you slightly more arrogant/****y).

There is nothing wrong with being a 'nice guy', i still am (but inside). Do something in a group situation that is not within your ordinary persona - say smack a girls arse. But be careful and be aware of where the boundaries are. Do not worry, i used to be put down constantly and occasionally i still am and i still do not know how to reply to it. Act as if its water off a duck's back, most importantly do not let them know that they are getting to you, because that is why they do it.

There is another reason that some people say things like that, because they themselves are insecure, look at what they said and think, are they weak in that area as well. For example; if they insult you about your technique in rowing, it could be that their fitness is not up to the mark and that they are trying to divert attention from themselves onto you.

 

[Senior Ding-Dong]

not to great with conversation on my own with girls but some topics on this site help. i tend to run out of INTERESTING conversation tips. i know there's all the recomended ones like family etc but that would bore the hell out of me so why would she enjoy that conversation. I already do team sport, rowing and i think that's a pretty good sum up of what the girls doin
cheers keep the feedback commin

 

[JSH]

something that i meant to say but skipped, if you are stuck for conversation tips, know some interesting facts.

e.g. http://www.askmen.com 's fact of the day is a good start. http://www.howthingswork.com is also good for learning things. Just know som general information and comment on everything. If you do not know about a topic, ask them to elaborate, do not be scared of asking.

 

[Senior Ding-Dong]

I'm goin to a party tonight where there will be tons of girls i don't know and one i'm already interested in.
This could be the perfect opportunity to practice my confidence and conversation skills so any tips are appreciated cheers

 

[BGMan]

Here's a tip. If a girl likes you, she'll talk to you. Strange, huh? So don't worry about girls who don't seem too interested in chatting, just move on to those who are.

Also, make some off-the-wall remark about something. Anything. If you can't think of something, say hello and ask for her name. But the key is to say cool or funny things instead of talking about boring, mundane things like most guys do.

BGMan