confused: good friend

[penguin]

OK I have a good female friend. She's a good friend after a short-lived relationship a few years ago that ended quite peacefully. We've always had respect for each other all this time, and recently we both became single.... Yeah, i'm going there.

I'd just like your opinions on whether or not it would be the right thing to be upfront with her and straight out tell her that yes "I wanted to kiss you X night" (if we all go out as a group of friends one night). I had chances recently, and to be honest in terms of "yes/no" I think it could go either way (her going along with it or not), perhaps favoured towards "yes".

But that's not the issue.... regardless of how she would feel, it's been building up and it's bothering me not doing anything about it. I figured that being upfront with her and seeing her reaction would be better than to just go for it... But i'm a newbie, so even that may be a stupid idea.

Basically, i'm sick of sitting back and having a good time with her while she's oblivious to the fact that i really would like to kiss/have some kind of intimacy with her. But we all know that it's not necessarily a good idea to act on emotions.

Help?

 

[b's nuts]

why not show her through your actions, and i don't mean buying her ****e and doing her favors, i mean by flirting, eye contact, playful touching, etc. This is a much easier way to judge her reactions then just putting it all on the line; I think that only works in the movies.

 

[penguin]

I have playfully touched. When sleeping at other's houses, she has offered a place under her blanket for me which i have accepted and there were no objections to a hand on her leg. Like i said, it could go either way, maybe even favouring 'yes'. But the thing is, how to go about making it clear while maintaining minimal risk to our friendship.

 

[FrustratedChump]

I agree with Bnuts... I was in the same position for years. Good friend, was crazy about her. She finally became available, I made my move. Went good for awhile, then I started acting a bit AFC (silly me). So gave her the LJBF line.

Then last night we were hanging out, I decided the time was good for a kiss, so I went for it.

Dont tell her how you feel. Dont write her love poems, or send flowers, or something stupid like that (I've done it, it wont work, trust me). Show her! Touch her, tickle her, tease her, kiss her.... just do it.

If worst comes to worst, and she rejects you, just back off. Then a few days later call her up, tell her you got caught up in the moment (or something to that extent) and you'd like to be just friends. I doubt you'll lose her as a friend this way, however if you confess your feelings, its a big possibility (once again, I've done it, twice). However recently I tried the don juan approach, and suprise suprise, it worked.

 

[b's nuts]

hand on the leg under the blanket to go to bed. If you don't fu-ck her next time that happens you are going to end up in the friends zone permanantly. Does she need to put up a sign that says insert **** here now with a flashing light? Your already gold, just whip it out! hahaa. No i recently became single again and a friend of mine has definately caught my attention since she got a new tattoo, tan, and toned (oh damn she is looking good). Things were going good and i thought it was a sealed deal until I didn't make the move when i had the opportunity, and that was just heavy flirting and dancing in the bar! You really have this bagged, just make your move next time she invites you into bed, seriously.:woo: :woo: :woo: :woo:

 

[frivolousz21]

this reminds me of how Me and My current gf got together.

as the previous posters said dont tell her how u feel...unless she mentions she likes u first..then u can imply that you want to see what happens.

be a pimp

 

[penguin]

lol ok an update, and I am probably going to get laughed at, and I don't blame you haha.

Anyway, I barely had any contact with her until just after the breakup. I saw her maybe once in 4-5 months before, but in one week I saw her about 3 times when she invited me here and there with friends etc. (just a bit of background info there).

Since then I she has also invited me out to some place, i forget where, which I ignored and just let fade away because I didn't feel like going out...

Here's the part I think I may have been stupid (but i'm not sure). She was complaining about having to go to the movies alone and how she'll be lonely going by herself etc etc. Did I do the wrong thing in suggesting someone?

I'm really really really bad at reading hints, could this have been one? I suggested asking a mutual friend and she had to go or something.

Since then, contact has dropped and she's not being as friendly as she was initially, actually I've been ignored a few times... Did I do something wrong?