phantomlord
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- Aug 25, 2006
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Hello everyone, I’m new to SoSuave.com and I’ve read some pretty interesting stuff so far. A friend highly suggested this forum to me and I decided I would describe the complicated situation I am in currently. I hope you older and more experienced people can kindly help my lost heart with strong advice in a way so that I can sort my life out and continue on living. I am a 17 year old male, fresh out of High School and already started in college. I have school three days a week and 2-4 days of work at my job. I apologize if this is the wrong forum to post this in and if there are any grammar or spelling errors. I know this is long and descriptive but it’s the only way to help you fully understand. Here is my situation:
Back in high school I saw this very beautiful girl in my 10th grade math class. She sat some distance away from me the entire year but I was still able to get a good look at her. Now most male teenagers would think, “Wow I’d like to get a piece of that,” and this was exactly what I wanted in the beginning. Sooner or later, after staring at this girl for a while, I decided that she wasn’t just the normal good looking girl, she was special. I had some feeling for her around this time but it stayed the same and built up somewhat throughout that year.
Fortunately, in my junior year, I was lucky enough to be placed directly across from her at a table in my English class. You wouldn’t have believed how happy I was. So, after seeing each other every odd day (block schedule) in class, we would talk constantly and get to know each other better. I looked forward to this class every day. She was the special thing in my life I just couldn’t bare to leave. Now, after a while, she started to show some affection for me. Shy smiles, hand movements that would show affection, and some footsying under the table. This went on and Valentines Day was soon to come. Since I was a very shy person, but extremely romantic, I was luckily able to muster the strength to give her 3 roses on Valentines Day. To my surprise, the flowers were delivered to the class I had her in, and I got to witness the expression on her face when she was the only person in the class to get some flowers. However, I didn’t write my name on the card because I was too shy to tell her and she didn’t know who it was. (I think she asked me and I said no). Instead, I told her later online that it was me and we got into a big conversation that led on to all this stuff. I was crazy about this girl, a little too crazy I think. I gave her small gifts and talked romantic to her online. I tried to go out with her on a date but she couldn’t because she was busy all the time. I was planning to take her ice-skating since she had never done it before and I talked to her as much as I could. She had never had a BF before and had only gone as far as to kiss. I don’t know what happened really but the relationship sort of died somehow. We moved seats in English class so I no longer sat near her except a table away and she just stopped talking to me as much as we use to. I just went away. I was a little mad/disappointed so it was a little on my part also.
So, for my senior year, nothing happened between us at all, I would walk by her at times and there would be some serious tension but that was all. Prom came and left and I damned myself for not going with her. She was asked by a super-model guy very early before prom was around and I went with some random chick I pretended to like.
Now it gets interesting…
I thought it was all over with me and her so I just stopped going crazy. I was sad for a while after I realized it was over and I continued to think about her on and off but not as much. This was the 2nd time I had real feelings for anyone (the first was in 4th-6th grade).
But then something happened…
A couple of weeks later after graduation, she randomly sends me an IM on AIM. We got into a conversation and it basically got to the point where she told me that she lost her virginity a couple nights ago. I was shocked and mad because she exclaimed it was a quickie. I told her that she deserved to have the best and most romantic first time so then it got to where she basically wanted to know my first time (she was lying by the way and she also got drunk for the first time that night). I then described my first time and exclaimed that usually it a good idea for guys to loose their virginity early, so that they can gain experience and then make the first time with the one they truly love the best possible (I think this is true because my first sucked and the next ones were a lot better).
I continued to be romantic with her, and I told her I still cared for her. I told her that if I was able to be with her right at that exact moment, I would kiss her, right on the lips. She didn’t believe it. So then it became a bet and we scheduled a day in which she would come to my house and I would have to do it. I had to do it right after I got into the car and I couldn’t say anything else until I did it. If I didn’t carry out this bet, she said I could never talk to her again. I was confident, but extremely shy and scared in a way.
The day came and I sat outside my house at night waiting for her to arrive (I can’t drive by the way up to this day, but she can). When she arrived I didn’t know what to do, I thought she was going to get out of the car and come to me, but apparently I walked over to the car and opened the door. I stepped in and said hello, I was outstandingly shy I couldn’t even look at her. She replied to me, “Well aren’t you going to do it? Come on boy…” So I laughed and said I knew this would happen, but right after I said that I forced myself and kissed her. It lasted for 5 seconds or so and it was unbelievable.
We then drove to In-n-out talking the whole way having a great time. From there we went to see a movie (Nacho Libre). We sat at the top corner in the dark with our legs up on the seats in front of us. Soon into the movie, she moved her legs under mine and held my arm and cuddled me close. I did the same, the whole time so involved with her I barely cared about the movie. I loved the moment and never wanted it to end. We laughed and enjoyed the movie and walked out holding hands soon to where she put hand around her. We walked outside and to a balcony where she put her head to my chest and told me she could hear my heart. I replied that it was beating with love and then we walked back to the car. She drove back to my house where we parked a little far away and talked for 2 hours straight. She had to go home in a little while so we couldn’t talk any longer but before she could turn on the car, she came over to me began to kiss me and then we basically started making out. It wasn’t just a normal make out. We slobbered over each other, hands on each other’s head/body and so enveloped in the moment there was nothing else in the world more important. Tongue and everything! It went on for 15-20 minutes and we both finished tired and shocked. I could see her expression and how amazed and surprised/shocked she was (I also told her “I love you” sometime during the kissing). She then drove me to my house and I left her with a strong and long kiss goodbye. I couldn’t believe this had all happened…
After this sudden event with the person I was deeply, from what I called at the time, in love with, I longed to see her again soon after her departure. I guess you could say I was a little obsessed but not to the extreme. I soon started a myspace, because she had one, and sent her emails/chatting with her when she could. But it didn’t get any better. Her birthday was that Saturday and this all happened on a Thursday. I wanted to get her something special but she told me that our make-out event was her present. So, because I am very dedicated and obedient person, I didn’t get her anything. She had a good birthday and we did kiss once in the car with other people around/held hands but that was it (She is older than me by 2 months). Weeks went by and it was the normal chatting once every while (like 2-4 times a week or something). I got to see her a few times after, but this was a result of her friends, along with her, “stealing” me from my house and just driving around.
Now I will get into the real problem I am in currently and let me tell you why I am confused and what questions I have to ask…
This girl I like has two friends and they are all best friends. One of them I hung out with for two years back in High School in our math class. I told her even though I never saw this girl I liked about how I felt towards her, and I guess she would go ahead and tell her best friend what I said. Now, this girl’s other friend I met through the times they “stole” me. She is an overweight, obese, horny, and desperate girl on the inside that I soon found out. After talking to her a lot about this girl I liked and how I complained and questioned our relationship if there was even one, we sort of became close friends. I would try and get with this girl I liked as much as I could, which is considerably hard now since she has a job 4 days a week, a very large family with tons and tons of friends she goes out with, and is starting community college soon nearby, which will take up all of her time pretty much.
(Continue on next post)
Back in high school I saw this very beautiful girl in my 10th grade math class. She sat some distance away from me the entire year but I was still able to get a good look at her. Now most male teenagers would think, “Wow I’d like to get a piece of that,” and this was exactly what I wanted in the beginning. Sooner or later, after staring at this girl for a while, I decided that she wasn’t just the normal good looking girl, she was special. I had some feeling for her around this time but it stayed the same and built up somewhat throughout that year.
Fortunately, in my junior year, I was lucky enough to be placed directly across from her at a table in my English class. You wouldn’t have believed how happy I was. So, after seeing each other every odd day (block schedule) in class, we would talk constantly and get to know each other better. I looked forward to this class every day. She was the special thing in my life I just couldn’t bare to leave. Now, after a while, she started to show some affection for me. Shy smiles, hand movements that would show affection, and some footsying under the table. This went on and Valentines Day was soon to come. Since I was a very shy person, but extremely romantic, I was luckily able to muster the strength to give her 3 roses on Valentines Day. To my surprise, the flowers were delivered to the class I had her in, and I got to witness the expression on her face when she was the only person in the class to get some flowers. However, I didn’t write my name on the card because I was too shy to tell her and she didn’t know who it was. (I think she asked me and I said no). Instead, I told her later online that it was me and we got into a big conversation that led on to all this stuff. I was crazy about this girl, a little too crazy I think. I gave her small gifts and talked romantic to her online. I tried to go out with her on a date but she couldn’t because she was busy all the time. I was planning to take her ice-skating since she had never done it before and I talked to her as much as I could. She had never had a BF before and had only gone as far as to kiss. I don’t know what happened really but the relationship sort of died somehow. We moved seats in English class so I no longer sat near her except a table away and she just stopped talking to me as much as we use to. I just went away. I was a little mad/disappointed so it was a little on my part also.
So, for my senior year, nothing happened between us at all, I would walk by her at times and there would be some serious tension but that was all. Prom came and left and I damned myself for not going with her. She was asked by a super-model guy very early before prom was around and I went with some random chick I pretended to like.
Now it gets interesting…
I thought it was all over with me and her so I just stopped going crazy. I was sad for a while after I realized it was over and I continued to think about her on and off but not as much. This was the 2nd time I had real feelings for anyone (the first was in 4th-6th grade).
But then something happened…
A couple of weeks later after graduation, she randomly sends me an IM on AIM. We got into a conversation and it basically got to the point where she told me that she lost her virginity a couple nights ago. I was shocked and mad because she exclaimed it was a quickie. I told her that she deserved to have the best and most romantic first time so then it got to where she basically wanted to know my first time (she was lying by the way and she also got drunk for the first time that night). I then described my first time and exclaimed that usually it a good idea for guys to loose their virginity early, so that they can gain experience and then make the first time with the one they truly love the best possible (I think this is true because my first sucked and the next ones were a lot better).
I continued to be romantic with her, and I told her I still cared for her. I told her that if I was able to be with her right at that exact moment, I would kiss her, right on the lips. She didn’t believe it. So then it became a bet and we scheduled a day in which she would come to my house and I would have to do it. I had to do it right after I got into the car and I couldn’t say anything else until I did it. If I didn’t carry out this bet, she said I could never talk to her again. I was confident, but extremely shy and scared in a way.
The day came and I sat outside my house at night waiting for her to arrive (I can’t drive by the way up to this day, but she can). When she arrived I didn’t know what to do, I thought she was going to get out of the car and come to me, but apparently I walked over to the car and opened the door. I stepped in and said hello, I was outstandingly shy I couldn’t even look at her. She replied to me, “Well aren’t you going to do it? Come on boy…” So I laughed and said I knew this would happen, but right after I said that I forced myself and kissed her. It lasted for 5 seconds or so and it was unbelievable.
We then drove to In-n-out talking the whole way having a great time. From there we went to see a movie (Nacho Libre). We sat at the top corner in the dark with our legs up on the seats in front of us. Soon into the movie, she moved her legs under mine and held my arm and cuddled me close. I did the same, the whole time so involved with her I barely cared about the movie. I loved the moment and never wanted it to end. We laughed and enjoyed the movie and walked out holding hands soon to where she put hand around her. We walked outside and to a balcony where she put her head to my chest and told me she could hear my heart. I replied that it was beating with love and then we walked back to the car. She drove back to my house where we parked a little far away and talked for 2 hours straight. She had to go home in a little while so we couldn’t talk any longer but before she could turn on the car, she came over to me began to kiss me and then we basically started making out. It wasn’t just a normal make out. We slobbered over each other, hands on each other’s head/body and so enveloped in the moment there was nothing else in the world more important. Tongue and everything! It went on for 15-20 minutes and we both finished tired and shocked. I could see her expression and how amazed and surprised/shocked she was (I also told her “I love you” sometime during the kissing). She then drove me to my house and I left her with a strong and long kiss goodbye. I couldn’t believe this had all happened…
After this sudden event with the person I was deeply, from what I called at the time, in love with, I longed to see her again soon after her departure. I guess you could say I was a little obsessed but not to the extreme. I soon started a myspace, because she had one, and sent her emails/chatting with her when she could. But it didn’t get any better. Her birthday was that Saturday and this all happened on a Thursday. I wanted to get her something special but she told me that our make-out event was her present. So, because I am very dedicated and obedient person, I didn’t get her anything. She had a good birthday and we did kiss once in the car with other people around/held hands but that was it (She is older than me by 2 months). Weeks went by and it was the normal chatting once every while (like 2-4 times a week or something). I got to see her a few times after, but this was a result of her friends, along with her, “stealing” me from my house and just driving around.
Now I will get into the real problem I am in currently and let me tell you why I am confused and what questions I have to ask…
This girl I like has two friends and they are all best friends. One of them I hung out with for two years back in High School in our math class. I told her even though I never saw this girl I liked about how I felt towards her, and I guess she would go ahead and tell her best friend what I said. Now, this girl’s other friend I met through the times they “stole” me. She is an overweight, obese, horny, and desperate girl on the inside that I soon found out. After talking to her a lot about this girl I liked and how I complained and questioned our relationship if there was even one, we sort of became close friends. I would try and get with this girl I liked as much as I could, which is considerably hard now since she has a job 4 days a week, a very large family with tons and tons of friends she goes out with, and is starting community college soon nearby, which will take up all of her time pretty much.
(Continue on next post)