Confused as sh1t, please help.

[luvfemales]

Okay let me explain the situation. I've meet this hot girl in my class (8.0) and for the first like 3 weeks (i have class with her twice a week) i just talked with her so i could know her a little better, and so she could get a feel from where im coming. So fast forward to like 3 weeks ago. i got her number, called her a few days later to set up a lunch date, but she was busy. Call ed a couple day after that and she was busy again. I didnt see her in class for 2 1/2 weeks so i couldnt talk to her face to face. Now heres the part that confuses me. When shes in class with me she always sits next to me, and i keep catching her looking at me through the corner of my eye. She uses me in examples when she has a question in class, and some how seeks me out to bum a cigarette between classes. So I feel like im getting the right vibes from her, yet it seems like a stuggle to set up the first date. O one more thing, this week is the last week of class, so i get 2 more chances where im sure ill see her face two face. I CAN REALLY USE SOME GUIDANCE!

 

[MackJr]

When she said she was busy, did you ask her for an alternative time? Students have busy schedule, but "busy" doesn't necessarily mean rejection. When she says that, ask when she has time free and work out the logistics. She'll be forced to give you a time or admit she's not interested.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Ok first of all, if she was interested like "that" she'd free up time for you. Or if she really was busy she would set up an counter offer. And secondly, why are you chasing this girl? DJ's don't chase girls, they ATTRACT them!!! When you called her up and she said she was busy, you should have said:

"Ok well you've got my number, give me a call when your free."

If she calls great you know you have attracted her or at least sparked her interest, if she doesn't call then you don't need to stress over it. And BTW, why are you only talking with 1 girl?? You should have at least 3-5 in your "rotation."


PIMP

 

[Walden]

Girls can be that busy, but it means she doesn't have any more than a moderate interest in you else she'da counterroffered

 

[luvfemales]

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle

"Ok well you've got my number, give me a call when your free."

PIMP [/B]

I did give her my number. What confuses me is if she is just moderatly intrested then why does she continue to flirt?

 

[Jin]

because you continue stroking her ego and giving her free cigs... duh!

next time she asks for a cig... tell her..

"Oh, you want one do ya'? Well now you have to earn them ok? "

it sounds like shes just leading you on and using you for affermation...

make a date with her, don't ask, just tell her you and her ARE going out on X day... make sure you ask her at the beggining of the week so her schedule is clear... but don't ask her if it is... just tell her you two are going out on such-and-such day...

if shes really interested in you she'll go..or if she just happens to be busy, and she reschedules... ask her for an exact date of when you will go out. Don't let her get away with being vague... if she is, then shes just leading your leash... bite through it and ditch her for someone that WANTS to spend time with you.

Best

Jin

 

[BGMan]

It sounds to me as if she's just flirting and isn't really interested. If she was she would at least try to set up a date.

BGMan

 

[Big Pappy]

She continues to flirt, because it's fun!

I do think that if she had High IL, then she would have countered with another time.

Get some social proof. Let her see you with another girl.

then

Call her one last time. Tell her this is her last shot at greatness. You will not ask again.

Then you will know if she has any interest.

Then, the hard part starts.

 

[showtime17]

when she asks you for a cig, tell her i'll give u a cig if u give me a massage...

PSh yeah, this is my public health announcement, smoking sucks..be cool and dont smoke...haha...anyways i dont smoke and cant stand when people smoke in clubs cause it always stinks up my clothes

 

[uniassign]

GEEEZZZ

Why do you have to ask her over the PHONE??? She sits next to you, flirt with her during class and then ask her for a bite to eat after class.

When you do it over the phone, the pressure is on for both parties. When you just want a bite to eat, the pressure is off, and things "just happened".

 

[Seeph]

I had that problem with my first post here.. I was AFC and had ONE-I-TIS with this one girl I had class with.. but i think it was drix who gave me the slap I needed.. Flirt with her or whatever.. but DONT do anything to offer hanging out or doing anything.. you already asked her out and she didnt counter.. so now if she wants to spend some time with you she needs to get busy and do something for you.. next time she needs cigs dont give her one or make her work for it. Just don't go out on a limb for this girl.

 

[b's nuts]

c&f line, can I bum a cigarette? what do I get?

 

[xblitz44x]

Maybe you are misinterpreting her 'being friendly' for flirting. Just because somebody looks at you, and uses you for examples doesn't mean that she wants you to throw it in her. How did the phone number situation go? What things make you believe that she is interested in you? She very well may be busy but if she isn't *ever* calling you back just to chat, or trying to make plans when she's free then chances are you might as well give it up.

 

[Dee-Zy]

she's not interested buddy.

the date is a test. You have asked her out twice and she declined. It doesn't matter how much she 'seems' to be into you - you never know until you test her.

That's when the phone number comes in. it's a test. If she doesn't give it to you - that means she's not interested.

it doesn't stop there, she passed the first test but now, you lay the 2nd test. She failed because turned you down.

If I was you, I'd call her one LAST time. (I know ALOT of DJs will dissagree with me on this)

and you tell her straight up, let's go out. Give a specific time AND place. If she says she can't tell her, you have my number - when you will be free give me a call. At this point NEXT.

unless she calls you then you can re-consider giving her some attention again.


This is the only way for you to know FOR SURE, if she's just being friendly, a tease or interested.

 

[becker]

There's always a problem with a few concepts that people are stating here: (1) the counteroffer, and (2) the "busy" factor.

First off, not all girls counteroffer. They aren't all used to saying counteroffers sometimes because they either reject or accept all the time. If they don't counteroffer though, chances are that they probably are moderately interested at best. However, the girl I'm pursuing now didn't counteroffer the first time I asked her, and then counteroffered the second time I asked her, so you never know.

Second, if a girl is busy all the time, it doesn't mean she will make time for you just because she likes you. I've had girls who liked me but never cleared their schedules for me. They were just genuinely busy all the time. I think the key is knowing whether the excuses are legit. One way that works for me is to just be straight up with them. I just say "if you don't want to go, then just tell me, don't worry about being nice". As long as you don't sound pathetic when you say it, and sincerely don't care either way (I don't), then you'll either get a straight up rejection, or you'll get an affirmation that she actually does want to go, but she couldn't. I did this with my girl right now, and she confirmed that she wasn't just disinterested, by telling me that she wanted to go with me.

Also, I recommend NOT putting it on her to call you back, because even for the gutsiest girls, they probably won't be comfortable calling you, and some may rather not do the date than to have to call.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by becker
There's always a problem with a few concepts that people are stating here: (1) the counteroffer, and (2) the "busy" factor.

First off, not all girls counteroffer. They aren't all used to saying counteroffers sometimes because they either reject or accept all the time. If they don't counteroffer though, chances are that they probably are moderately interested at best. However, the girl I'm pursuing now didn't counteroffer the first time I asked her, and then counteroffered the second time I asked her, so you never know.

Second, if a girl is busy all the time, it doesn't mean she will make time for you just because she likes you. I've had girls who liked me but never cleared their schedules for me. They were just genuinely busy all the time. I think the key is knowing whether the excuses are legit. One way that works for me is to just be straight up with them. I just say "if you don't want to go, then just tell me, don't worry about being nice". As long as you don't sound pathetic when you say it, and sincerely don't care either way (I don't), then you'll either get a straight up rejection, or you'll get an affirmation that she actually does want to go, but she couldn't. I did this with my girl right now, and she confirmed that she wasn't just disinterested, by telling me that she wanted to go with me.

Also, I recommend NOT putting it on her to call you back, because even for the gutsiest girls, they probably won't be comfortable calling you, and some may rather not do the date than to have to call.

You are 100% right, however what would you suggest the mad to do now? If he goes on like this he might get a headache for nothing or even worst fall into infatuation just to finish in depression. Although it is not the 'ideal' thing to do, it is the best option. Why would you want to be willing to wait and wait and wait again? As far as I'm concerned, I think the chances are that waiting will only hurt him more.