My girlfriend and I were out last friday and we stopped in a local drugstore to pick up some things. Mind you, we are both virgins (shes 17 and I am 19). We've talked about sex before and she tells me that sometimes she thinks its ok and other times she is really afraid of the whole concept and the possibility of pregnancy regardless of contraceptives. So while we are in the drug store, she goes "Ooh, we should get some condoms". So I am like, ok and we go get a box. Then later on when we are ****ing around (we are the only two home) I ask her if she wants to try out those condoms we bought. After playing dumb for about 30 seconds with me she says "Im not ready for that yet". Later on, she said things like "Its a really big step......It should mean something...." What the hell is going on here? We have had oral sex, but not intercourse yet. Why would she want to buy condoms and not have sex? She calls me regularly and shows a lot of interest/desire to be together. We have been together for four months. Thanks for any help!
confused about sex....in a relationship??? (short)
- Thread starter Spikes
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Ashlee Angel
Master Don Juan
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I was right where you were at not that long ago. I talked to the girl about sex and she was scared of having a baby and about sex hurting.
I always kept it postive and one day I asked her " Don't you get sick of oral sex all of the time".
She said sort of I am just scared but I do want to have sex with you.
Since she was holding sex back from me. I knew she liked to makeout so whenever she tried to kiss me.
I would turn away and say stuff like let's take it slow or I just want to get to know you more as a person.
She started to get pissed and she didn't know what to do. I kept this act up because I had diffrent girls at the time so it was no big deal if she wouldn't give it up.
Needless to say of me holding out the kisses she had sex with me in less than two weeks.
I always kept it postive and one day I asked her " Don't you get sick of oral sex all of the time".
She said sort of I am just scared but I do want to have sex with you.
Since she was holding sex back from me. I knew she liked to makeout so whenever she tried to kiss me.
I would turn away and say stuff like let's take it slow or I just want to get to know you more as a person.
She started to get pissed and she didn't know what to do. I kept this act up because I had diffrent girls at the time so it was no big deal if she wouldn't give it up.
Needless to say of me holding out the kisses she had sex with me in less than two weeks.
Spikes, ur situation sounds like something that will happen to me. I'm also 19, shes 17, virgins, i'm in need of sex she is scared of babies. We've been together for 2 months. I think the best time to bring it up is in the heat of the moment. It does look like u tried that, so i'm not sure. I dont think she's playing games, she's most likely confused herself. Wait it out, and try to plan a day whre you both know its gonna happen. Wait for an anniversery or something. Then it'll mean something more.
yo holla! i got the same shiit going on with me. we both are virgins in the same age group as you. the thing is she hasn't even had any experience at all. she seems to like all that making out stuff but won't do it. weve only been together for almost 3 wks so its still early on. maybe your girl is starting to really want to but keeps chickening out. i would try to really get her horny with all the foreplay and get her to do it. or try the holding out $hit it might work too. or worse the chick still think its early. but keep workin on it shell give it up.
sAxyguy83
Senior Don Juan
One possibility - you could let HER carry the condoms, saying something like "when you're comfortable with it, just pull one out" or something like that. It does shift the power to her, but it helps her feel more comfortable and in-control. Also, if you can get her to keep them in some spot she'll come across them often, under the pretense of keeping them with her and easily accessible, they'll act as a constant reminder of what she's missing out on. If you do this, you could also pull a really nasty trick and get yourself another pack secretly, and keep some handy at all times. That way, if she pulls the "I want to . . . Oh, no! I left them at home!" trick, or genuinely wants to but forgets them, you'll be prepared - it should be especially effective if you get textured/ribbed etc.
Easy does it...
By even getting the condoms shes telling you that you are the one. Respect that and give her some time... She wants it as bad as you do. IT IS A BIG STEP! Just don't pull any of that "give me some or else" crap... Or it'll be the next guy and not you. Take a step back and think about what she wants to give you. She can only give it to one man her entire life. Your actions and reactions determine how she feels about sex, and how she views men for the rest of her life. Slow down, and and count child support payments insted of sheep at night. ...Yes, even with condoms. And yes, go to some trouble and MAKE it special, a room, candles music, she will thank you for it forever. Good Luck
By even getting the condoms shes telling you that you are the one. Respect that and give her some time... She wants it as bad as you do. IT IS A BIG STEP! Just don't pull any of that "give me some or else" crap... Or it'll be the next guy and not you. Take a step back and think about what she wants to give you. She can only give it to one man her entire life. Your actions and reactions determine how she feels about sex, and how she views men for the rest of her life. Slow down, and and count child support payments insted of sheep at night. ...Yes, even with condoms. And yes, go to some trouble and MAKE it special, a room, candles music, she will thank you for it forever. Good Luck
InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
In a nutshell, she wants it. She's just as nervous as you are. I also think she's playing hard to get to... sometimes, it's a game. They want it, but don't want to come off as sluts so they put up a front... deep down, they want you to talk their pants off, and if you push the right buttons, the pants will come off.