Confused about NEXTING and being FRIENDS...

[Tantric]

When you "next" a chick..let's say becasue you are interested in her, but she's not interested in you...do you do a FULL OUT "NEXT"? Or do you still remain "friends" and bury those feelings?

I have issues being friends with girls who I like more than "friends", mainly becasue i thought it was AFC, and last thing i needed was to be her "girlfriend"...am i wrong in thinking this?

I tried "nexting a chick yesterday, but it kinda pissed me off...like i was acting like an a$$hole or something...

Are there different was of approaching this?

 

[Tantric]

Interesting...

Now...how would you define "friends"...based on your reply, I assuming that this type if "nexting" includes not even being "friendly"?

I'm basically referring to girls who are in your same classes/school, etc.

 

[shyguy208]

This is interesting...

I am in a similar position at the moment. I have tried being 'friends' with this chick for about a year but it was crap. She kept complaining about the other blokes in her life. I even heard about when she fvcked them which really really sucks when you aren't getting any from her. On top of this she would dis-respect me in front of other people (would then apologise when we are alone! WTF!). It's all bad! So I would say definite NEXT! Chicks who know you have a thing for them and with who you try to be good friends with will be more inclined to dis-respect you because they know that they can get away with it more than with another guy she doesn't know so well! NEXT! NEXT! NEXT!

BUT how to NEXT? Especially if you work or see them everyday! My ***** epects me to talk to her like a friend when I see her but refuses to see me outside of work! Right now, I am trying my very best to be polite when I see her at work. I say hello and stuff and will answer her questions. But I refuse to talk to her about any other stuff (e.g. personl stuff) like you would if you were talking to a friend. I will not tell her what I have been up to and other chit chat things. I just communicate the bare essentials that I need to for work and politeness purposes! Now I am getting the feeling that this chick is now starting to get a bit pissed at this. Perhaps she will give me a load of crap about it and try be friends again BUT I have pretty much decided that I will say NO to any type of friendship after the way she has treated me. If she wants to fvck, however, I will give her the pleasure for a while and then dump her ass! Basically I don't want anything to do with her. I hope that in a year's time we will go our separate ways and will never see her again in the rest of my life. I know it sounds bitter but she really is no good for me!

Is this the right way to go about this? Advice from the more experienced DJs would be great!

 

[THA REALNESS]

You have to next her.

 

[Tantric]

i hear ya shyguy208...

Nexting is quite easy when it's a girl you will probably never see you again...

It is quite a bit different when you are in the same classes and see her everyday...

I'd like to hear some other DJ's opinions on this...

 

[Tantric]

bump

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by evo255x
its simple man just NEXT and be done no friendship no nothing.... if they come begging for you to come back then tell em your not interested if they offer sex then take it and NEXT them again... its not about being polite its about blowing them off the same way they would you....
Dont be their friend thats weak and shows you arent the man you realy are cus you rather be her shoulder to cry on then make her cry on someone elses shoulder.

I disagree, you should only cut all ties if she's acting like a b1tch. Otherwise keep her as a friend but under YOUR terms. Do not become her emotional tampon BUT use her as a prop to show other women how much of a good guy you are.

Women love to see guys that have women friends but yet show them the interest and affection that they don't show the girls they are friends with.

 

[Tantric]

hmmm...interesting viewpoint...

 

[Pimp-sicle]

This is EXACTLY why people tell you not to try **** with people your in contact with ALL THE TIME!! I NEVER hit on girl's in my classes for this EXACT reason!! Unless its quiet obivious that she's into me, I'm still a bit hesistatant because the school semester is LONG and your bound to seeing her when you don't want to.

However now that your in this situation just NEXT her!! Obiviously you can't ignore her completely, so be cordial, but don't go out of your way to be her "buddy." Fuvk that ****, no girl deserves your time like that. Just don't be AFC about it and give her a cold shoulder.



PIMP

 

[Beige]

If you nexted a girl, she becomes a great social proof. Use it!

 

[Blaaaaat]

Remaining friend is possible but it depands on your feelings. If it hurts to be with her, then next, get her out of your life. It's an unhealty relationship, you don't get anything out of it, and possibly you will feel down alot. And if she falls in love with an other guy, she will forget you, or worse, she is going to talk about her problems with YOU. "It hurts when he's using 4 fingers, 3 i can handle blablabla".

If you ARE SURE you can put these feelings aside, then go ahead, use her as social proof, but i wouldn't recommend it.

Ask yourself this question, does my life gets better if I stay friends with her?

I've tried it once and failed misserrbly, never again.

 

[Sayajin_Prince]

But if she tells she wants to be only friends with you (LBJF), what would be the best answer?

Simply i don't wanna be your friend and sayonara???

 

[JustDoItAlways]

One of the best ways to get women is to be seen with other women.

It is ten times better if those women are having a good time, laughing, flirting with you, touching you, whispering in your ear, even tounging you down on the dancefloor.

Social Proof is one your most powerful weapons.

Chicks are lazy. They would rather take the advice/proof from other women that you are fun/worth being around rather than finding out for themselves.

So, nexted friends can be used for this purpose. Assuming they really are having a good time with you, helping your game etc. (see final comments below)

Two things about social proof chicks.

- You are not buddies. You do not talk for hours on the phone with her. You don't go out together in on-on-one type situations where you won't be seen by other women. You don't waste your valuable time with her. Her sole purpose is to attract other females to you.

- If you still have feelings for her, it can not work. It will just hurt you and your game. You can not show, (more like actually have) any jealousy if another guy starts macking her etc. You can not fall for her little flirting tactics assuming that things have changed now and you might have a chance with her now. You can not hang around her hoping that, one day, when she sees the real you, she will then fall for you. It very very rarely happens. If you still care for her, you must next her completely until you're 100% over her.

As Final Comments, however, chicks always say they want to be "friends" after a break up. It doesn't mean they actually want to. They just don't want to be the bad guy. They don't want there to be friction when you two meet up again. They say it because they think good girls always say that.

If you try the friends thing or the social proof angle and she still

- acts like a b1tch, or

- continually acts negative to you, or

- makes fun of you in front of other people or behind your back, or

- tries to screw up your game with other women, or

- gets totally jealous about your new prospects even though she doesn't want you, or

- she still has some negative effect on you (Ex's having a funny way of bringing you down regardless of how you might feel about them),

... you must next her completely of course.

Most of the time when chicks say they still want to be friends and you agree with her, this is what happens. Its actually Anti-Social-Proof

 

[lerxst]

Yeah, you next a chick when she's being a ***** about it all or when you can't stand her anymore. Nothing wrong with being a friend of a girl, just don't become here "girlfriend". Acting DJ all along will prevent that. What you want to do is make her your "Pivot". Read up on that. In some cases, when she becomes your pivot, she'll see you hook up, and that may make her jealous/think of you differently in that she has to get some from you cause other girls do. Good luck.