conflict of interests involved girl...

[mattathensga]

hey, I posted awhile ago about a situation I'm having with a girl that has a boyfriend... I was wanting to get some feedback on what the hell I've managed to get myself tangled up into...

K, situation is like this, her BF is locked up, she says she loves him. BUT she spends the night in my bed regularly, seeks me out to hang out with, and has sex with me on a regular basis. We've been doing this for over two months now.... she's even mentioned having me meet her parents. she talks about me all the time to her friends, and theres a lot of detail to what she says to them about how I am ' so amazing to her' and treat her so well, etc. I just don't understand, first off, why she can say these things to me, yet continue a relationship with someone that she isn't really in love with ( she wouldnt be giving it up to me all the time if he was so great, if she loved him) and what this whole " I'd like you to come meet my parents" sh*t is about. I mean, that a pretty serious invitaition, which I said I would (hell, it doesn't matter to me, I'll meet them, it doesn't bother me) but what the F, "you're special to me so I want you to meet my parents, but I won't dump my BF yet."

I wouldn't mind a serious relationship with her, and joke about it all the time, ie, shes on the phone with her BF whose in jail, curled up in MY arms, hangs up, and I'll say, " I dunno why you keep on talking to your ex BF so much"... she laughs, and says something to the point of , 'yeah, I dunno either. " and actually finds my additude about wanting a relationship very appealing... yet she won't dump this chump...

I have a really good job, I make almost $20 an hour, and she's almost 5 years younger than me and doesn't make **** for money, yet I don't spend any significant amount on her, maybe dinner everyonce in a while, so I don't think she's a gold digger.,, I just was wondering if I could get a smack in the face from some "friends" out there that may have some info to enlighten me to this. I don't think she's an attention hor, as theres plenty of time that she wants to hang out and I'm too busy to even answer her call.
I have other options other than her available to me, but would like to have a LTR with her, as we have a lot in common, and get along better than any other girl I've been with.

I don't anticipate that he's getting out within the next year. he's always getting into more trouble in jail, so his release is always getting pushed back. so why is she playing this game? any Psychology majors got an opinion????

thanks for any input,

 

[penkitten]

my opinion is that she wants her parents and friends approval before she does anything.
she is a good girl and not trying to wrong anyone.
she is falling for you.
however, she would like to be talked into dumping the bf before she does .
not just by you, but by the people that surrond her like her parents.


i may be wrong however that is what my gut tells me based on this what you wrote.

 

[mattathensga]

So, you'd agree that meeting her parents is a good idea, if I'm wanting a relationship with her... what you've said is sorta the conclusion that I've come to, I've been extending myself to meet her friends, and talking with her bout meeting her parents...
thanks for your feedback, but you have to tell me, why do you live in someone's closet?