Confident Women vs Insecure Women

[Desdinova]

I've been thinking about this one for a while...

I think women who have a bit of insecurity make better companions than women who are more confident. Here's why:

Confident Women
- Think they know what they're doing
- Don't need a man to tell them what to do
- Think their behavior (good or bad) is justified
- Make excuses for doing stupid things (when they follow their emotions)
- Will try to wrestle the power away from the man in the relationship
- Think they're sexy regardless of how unattractive they become


Insecure Women
- Will always look to someone else for help in decision making
- Concerned with how other people view them
- Feel bad when they follow their emotions and do something stupid
- Does not want to be a leader in any way, shape, or form
- Realizes that their looks will go downhill when they don't take care of themselves
- Will stick with a man out of fear that they may not find someone better


I think insecurity actually helps bring out the feminine side of women and can compliment the masculinity and confidence of a real man. An overly-confident woman wouldn't compliment a man, but create competition for him.

 

[SecondHalf]

Interesting post, I'm curious about other views.

Personally, I'm done with insecure women.
I want a woman who knows what she wants, knows what she has, and knows how to keep it. I don't mind arm wrestling for who's on top now and then.

I found insecure women will likely always be insecure. They question what they have and whether if it's enough easier in my experiences. They're flaky and are an easy target for the wolf as being gullible is a common attribute of insecurity. Once they feel secure about the man's love, it can have a negative effect (hypergamy). Perhaps relationship game might help that (something I've not been very effective at).

SH

 

[Uberguy]

On the flip side, it's insecure women who are the biggest sluts out there. They're the ones who seek validation through sleeping around the most. Confident girls aren't perfect either, but if a woman derives her sense of esteem from her authentic self, she's less likely to feel like she needs to get approval and attention by riding the **** carousel.

 

[The Duke]

From my personal experiences with confident women, they lack some compassion compared to insecure girls. They are also a lot less dependent on you and the relationship. I also question their loyalty. I've also seen some who come across as very confident on the surface but were insecure when it came to their own personal beauty. These where 8's-9's. They would still seek out men for self validation. The confident ones were a little more rational and easier to talk to.

As far as insecure women go, the ones I've met have been pretty pasionate about the relationship. They also are a little more "drama". They are pretty dependent and want to spend as much time with you as they can. They definitely look to the guy with help in decision making. They are definitely more concerned than confident women when it comes to how others view them. Insecure girls seem to invest more which can lead to a deeper connection. These types always seem to be a little sweeter as well.

So many times I've witnessed a insecure girl get taken advantage of my some loser mooching chump of a guy. I know of one who financed a motorcycle for a boyfriend and made the down payment on it. He had bad credit so he couldn't put the bike in his name. She made good money so she helped him get it. When they broke up he tried to take the bike. Since it was in her name, she had it reposessed. The guy played all sorts of games with her on where the bike was being kept at.

Another girl I know financed a boat and a bike for a guy. When that relationship ended the guy made payments to her for 2years until it was paid off. She ended up keeping the boat because she was so upside down with it.

Both of these guys were true beta's who took advantage of sweet/gullible/insecure girls just to satisfy their own selfish wants. I hate guys who take advantage of a situation just because they can. They lack a lot of self discipline. I expect it some what from women, but not men.

There is a lot of truth in whats been said, however one must always be careful when making generalizations like this. Its important to remember that women across the board tend to justify their bad behavior and have a hard timing owning up to their mistakes regardless of how confident or secure they are.

In the bedroom its always been the insecure ones who aim to please!

 

[Boilermaker]

Desdi, I think this is a very subtle observation.

After reading your post, I have thought about it too and it occurred to me:

I have never met a truly confident woman who wasn't overly aggressive to the point of manliness.

Affection, compassion, femininity don't go hand in hand with confidence.

Very interesting.

 

[Desdinova]

it's insecure women who are the biggest sluts out there. They're the ones who seek validation through sleeping around the most.

I disagree. Insecure women are too concerned about others viewing them as slvts. They're also concerned about how the man they're sleeping with is going to view them, both in their personality and in the bedroom. Women who are confident don't care about any of that 5hit until someone says something about it and stirs up her emotions.

I've also seen some who come across as very confident on the surface but were insecure when it came to their own personal beauty.

Those are the women who try to put armour around their insecurity. They're the ones who have been hurt many, many times.

As far as insecure women go, the ones I've met have been pretty pasionate about the relationship. They also are a little more "drama"

ALL women need emotional fluctuation. Drama is just one way to get it. Some require more emotional fluctuation than others to be happy, hence more drama.

Affection, compassion, femininity don't go hand in hand with confidence.

Correct

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I've been thinking about this one for a while...

I think women who have a bit of insecurity make better companions than women who are more confident. Here's why:

Confident Women
- Think they know what they're doing
- Don't need a man to tell them what to do
- Think their behavior (good or bad) is justified
- Make excuses for doing stupid things (when they follow their emotions)
- Will try to wrestle the power away from the man in the relationship
- Think they're sexy regardless of how unattractive they become


Insecure Women
- Will always look to someone else for help in decision making
- Concerned with how other people view them
- Feel bad when they follow their emotions and do something stupid
- Does not want to be a leader in any way, shape, or form
- Realizes that their looks will go downhill when they don't take care of themselves
- Will stick with a man out of fear that they may not find someone better


I think insecurity actually helps bring out the feminine side of women and can compliment the masculinity and confidence of a real man. An overly-confident woman wouldn't compliment a man, but create competition for him.

I'm not so sure about insecure women Des. I know plenty who are insecure but are complete AW's looking for validation from any and every source they can get it and have no problems running from dude to dude etc.

POF chicks are only a small example of insecure nut cases. Just because she's insecure doesn't guarantee anything positive. A chick with a head on her shoulders is much better IMO.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Insecure Women
- Will always look to someone else for help in decision making
- Concerned with how other people view them
- Feel bad when they follow their emotions and do something stupid
- Does not want to be a leader in any way, shape, or form
- Realizes that their looks will go downhill when they don't take care of themselves
- Will stick with a man out of fear that they may not find someone better

I think insecurity actually helps bring out the feminine side of women and can compliment the masculinity and confidence of a real man. An overly-confident woman wouldn't compliment a man, but create competition for him.

The problem with insecure women is that they are more likely to act irrationally and play games. On the other hand, they are easier to manipulate.

 

[Desdinova]

A chick with a head on her shoulders is much better IMO.

I've never met a woman with her "head on her shoulders"

The problem with insecure women is that they are more likely to act irrationally and play games

I honestly believe that most women do not play games. I believe men generally boil down their misunderstanding of women's behavior to "game playing". Once you figure out how a woman's emotions are affecting her behavior, you'll find that the "game playing" disappears.

BPDs contradict

They're an exception to the rule. They have a disorder to make them crazy no matter how confident or insecure they are.

I know plenty who are insecure but are complete AW's looking for validation from any and every source they can get it and have no problems running from dude to dude etc.

Are you sure they're insecure? Have you slept with them? Have you spent a significant amount of time with these women? The reason why I ask is because I don't think you can truly judge a woman on her confidence or insecurity without getting to know her personality and behavior.

 

[BMX]

Confident Women
- Think they know what they're doing
- Don't need a man to tell them what to do
- Think their behavior (good or bad) is justified
- Make excuses for doing stupid things (when they follow their emotions)
- Will try to wrestle the power away from the man in the relationship
- Think they're sexy regardless of how unattractive they become

Red wine brings out these same qualities in females

 

[betheman]

Red wine brings out these same qualities in females

this is actually a good point, although I dont like drunken women, it is interesting at some point to see how they are when they have a decent drink. Im a firm believer in that when you have a drink, we then uncover some of the layers of our personality, you get an insight into the 'real' person.
as far as the insecure v confident argument goes, a lot of confidence is projection and fragile in women, therefore most are insecure anyway. confidence in a woman isnt generally considered feminine and that puts some guys off, insecurity is more feminine, and more attractive because it raises the guys confidence in his ability to take the lead.
a lot depends on the degree of the insecurity for me, if it blights them so much they cant function to match their abilities, then that is a problem

 

[zekko]

Good arguments on both sides here. I tend to lean towards Desdinova's side and prefer a girl have a little insecurity in her. Too much confidence seems too off-putting, and masculine. Should she be c0cky/funny too, lol?

It's interesting, because women are told confidence is sexy in Cosmo and such sources. And I've read many a post on this forum from guys saying they prefer confident women.

But I think ultimately, it's much like confidence and insecurity in a man. A lot of the time a guy may act confident, even arrogant and c0cky, but it's all just a coverup and he's actually insecure. Whereas a man who is genuinely confident may be completely comfortable showing some of his insecurity and vulnerability. It's hard to tell just what is real and what is part of the act.

 

[st_99]

i find overly insecure women cant believe that i may like them for anything beyond sex.
idk, maybe im just not nice enough.

 

[Jitterbug]

The way confident women typically act just reminds me of some effeminate guy who's pretending he's king sh1t. Just want to make me reach out and smack him up the backside of his head.