Confident Persistence vs. Chasing

[Serg897]

Hey gentlemen,

Just looking for some general opinions on this. Im sure this isn’t exactly a unique situation yet its one I haven’t run into, surprisingly, in a while.

I generally move fast when I start dating a woman. I escalate and go for sex on the first couple of dates. Often its either a green light or just a clear rejection and I move on (or Im no longer interested).

I’ve been on two dates with this woman. I’ve known her for a few months but have only been on those two dates – always because she is (apparently) busy with family and/or school (nursing student). The thing to keep in mind is that she always gets back to me when I contact her (even if it takes a while) and is always friendly and receptive to my date ideas.

The last date we went on was last Monday. I texted her the Wednesday before asking her what her week looks like and she specifically suggested that day. Both times we went out it was at a bar, salsa dancing. She just let me kiss her both times but didn’t let me escalate beyond that – “I don’t move as fast as you do”. When we were out last Monday I specifically suggested she contact me for racquetball and she agreed, but of course this hasn’t happened (its Sunday – no contact since).

The bottom line is this girl does just enough to make me think she is at least mildly interested but is moving very slow, enough to make me think I might be wasting my time. What would you all do? Im thinking of either trying again and setting up something more intimate and 1on1, or just forgetting about it and concentrate on other prospects.

 

[Johnnyventana]

There's a saying, never give a chick a chance not to contact you.

Instead of asking her to hit you up, tell her you'll hit her up for racquetball. Then take your sweet time in doing so. Then it will be her wondering, not you.

 

[Serg897]

There's a saying, never give a chick a chance not to contact you.

Instead of asking her to hit you up, tell her you'll hit her up for racquetball. Then take your sweet time in doing so. Then it will be her wondering, not you.

Its true - but I dont care. I can easily contact her, ask her out to do something else, and pretend that convo never happened.

 

[Johnnyventana]

For sure you can. Now you are however, in a one-down-position. I would imagine you are on this board, because you do actually care.

Lesson learned with this particular chick - don't give her any more opportunities like this.

 

[Serg897]

You're right of course. I guess when I did it I was of the mentality of being tired of her slowness, and wanting her to prove to me that she is interested enough to keep her word. I knew it was a risk.

I could call her soon. Even tonight. Or I could just wait and pursue other women. She's just another girl.

 

[Johnnyventana]

I'd wait another week before reaching out. I'd imagine she has some sense to eventually figure out that not responding isn't always going to work for her. Meaning you may be that one guy who doesn't need her. That may crack her world a little bit.

Which is good.

 

[Serg897]

Well well well, speak of the devil - about 10 minutes ago she texted me for racquetball and/or yoga. I must be doing something right

 

[Johnnyventana]

NICE! Funny, I have seen the "6 day" thing before... Interesting.