"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Confident People vs. Insecure People

The Duke

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I saw this the other day and thought it applied very well to men and women and how they interact with each other. Strive to be a "confident" man and your results with women will improve greatly. Confidence will serve you well in every aspect of life. Confidence is the root of all success. You can't ever expect to grow/improve as an individual when you are stuck in an insecure mindset and you certainly aren't fooling the confident ones!

INSECURE PEOPLE
-Close Minded
-Know it all
-Seeks Validation
-Makes Excuses
-Do What feels good
-Blames others
-Comes off fake because they hide flaws
-Negative Thinker
-Stays in comfort zone
-Gossips
-Scarcity Mindset
-Dislikes People
-Judgmental
-Worry what others think

CONFIDENT PEOPLE
-Gives compliments
-Willing to learn from others
-Takes responsibility for thoughts, actions, feelings, results
-Operates on principles
-Admits mistakes
-Not afraid to show flaws
-Positive thinker
-Risk taker
-Never talks negative about others
-Abundance mindset
-Giver
-Likes to spend time with people
-Accepting of differences
-Can laugh at themselves
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sazc

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I appreciate this post. The problem with the conceptualization of these lists is that cognitive dissonance is going to have us placing ourselves in the confident category :)
 

Who Dares Win

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I dont believe anyone can totally fit in one of those two groups, we have some elements of both.

For example Im surely not a giver and I also dislike most people especially women and old people driving but at the same time I see myself in many things in the list below in the confident group.

Oh and I also blame others for me not being richer, with no old people who needs pensions and healthcare I would surely pay less taxes.

Plus there could be conflicting items like being aware of not knowing something while not giving a fvck about learning it from others.
 

Pandora

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I saw this the other day and thought it applied very well to men and women and how they interact with each other. Strive to be a "confident" man and your results with women will improve greatly. Confidence will serve you well in every aspect of life. Confidence is the root of all success. You can't ever expect to grow/improve as an individual when you are stuck in an insecure mindset and you certainly aren't fooling the confident ones!

INSECURE PEOPLE
-Close Minded
-Know it all
-Seeks Validation
-Makes Excuses
-Do What feels good
-Blames others
-Comes off fake because they hide flaws
-Negative Thinker
-Stays in comfort zone
-Gossips
-Scarcity Mindset
-Dislikes People
-Judgmental
-Worry what others think

CONFIDENT PEOPLE
-Gives compliments
-Willing to learn from others
-Takes responsibility for thoughts, actions, feelings, results
-Operates on principles
-Admits mistakes
-Not afraid to show flaws
-Positive thinker
-Risk taker
-Never talks negative about others
-Abundance mindset
-Giver
-Likes to spend time with people
-Accepting of differences
-Can laugh at themselves
This is a great post. This really boils down to self love vs non self love. In spiritual circles the goal of life is to learn to love. This includes love of self. Most near death experience people report that God ( or a Source/ God like spirit) told them that the purpose of life is to learn to love. Confident people are just people that love themselves. Not love themselves in a narcissistic way. Narcissism is not real love. It is a defense mechanism from being hurt.

Insecure people don't love themselves. Deep down they think that they are defective and unworthy of love. The more we learn to love the more confident we will be. I suffered from a lack off self love when I was younger and I didn't even realize it. Anytime we act needy and crave for a particular woman we are acting from fear and not self love. If you love yourself you will not tolerate women that don't love you. Nearly all humans suffer from a lack of self love. The purpose of life may be to learn how to love.
 
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