I'm getting to a point in my game where I'm feeling like I'm getting pretty good. More than following any certain "Methods", running any "Routines" or having any smooth tactful moves in my inventory, I've focused on becoming a better person for MYSELF. I've also made some friends with, and watched guys that are naturally good with women, which has helped me out tremendously. One thing I've taken notice of is recently is the kind of humor guys who are good with women use, and the kind of humor guys that aren't good with women use. Girls are always saying they want a guy that can make them laugh. However, I think a lot of guys are taking this idea too far and turning women off.
In my lifetime, I've made friends with some of the funniest guys you could ever meet. These are the kind of guys that would get you rolling on the floor within the first 5 minutes you met them. They always got some (note: SOME) attention from women, which is a lot more than I ever got. But what I didn't realize at the time was that they never hooked up with girls, and they didn't date at all. So back then (when I had NO game whatsoever), my policy was to make women (and people in general) laugh at just about everything I said and did (and I usually could). I can't even count the amount of times girls told me I was "too goofy" or "just a big dork". If they were laughing at everything I said, they had to be attracted to me, right? How wrong I was.
Every girl will tell you she wants a guy that can make her laugh. And YES, THIS IS TRUE. A sense of humor is important, but I think it's a certain kind of humor women are looking for. I think women want a guy who displays a confident sense of humor, rather than a goofy sense of humor. And yes, I think there's a huge difference between a Confident sense of humor and a Goofy sense of humor.
A guy who uses goofy humor does anything for a laugh. He'll put himself down, make fun of himself, or physically abuse himself (just like Jack@ss) to get a laugh. In my high school, there were a lot of kids like this. (I don't know why, but it seemed like all of them either skated, were REALLY scrawny, had long hair (don't ask) or a combination of all three) It's almost like a laugh is the ultimate payment for this kind of guy.
The problem with this is that when you get so focused on making people laugh, you're completely focused on yourself rather than the person in front of you. It seems like if they aren't making you laugh at EVERYTHING they say, they get really nervous and uncomfortable. Sometimes they resort to even more severe forms of self-deprication (physical abuse, etc.) to get a rise out of you. I think the reason they do this is because, at a deep level, they fear the disapproval of other people (and when people aren't laughing they "disapprove") so they make up this histerical character and act it out at all times. And it gets really annoying in the process.
A guy who uses Confident Humor isn't going to be the funniest guy you've ever met. However, the difference between the two is that the guy that uses Confident Humor is not seeking any kind of reaction from anyone else. What he says isn't really funny at all, but HOW he says it is what makes him funny. His vocal tonality, eye contact and posture let others know he is confident in his own skin. He doesn't have to be the center of attention at all times, and people respect him. I think the root of Confident Humor is that this kind of guy is naturally at ease with himself and others, so he doesn't care what others think of him. He says what he wants and doesn't care if people disapprove. ALL the guys that I've known that are good with women (and people in general) have used this kind of humor.
Anyone else noticed this?
In my lifetime, I've made friends with some of the funniest guys you could ever meet. These are the kind of guys that would get you rolling on the floor within the first 5 minutes you met them. They always got some (note: SOME) attention from women, which is a lot more than I ever got. But what I didn't realize at the time was that they never hooked up with girls, and they didn't date at all. So back then (when I had NO game whatsoever), my policy was to make women (and people in general) laugh at just about everything I said and did (and I usually could). I can't even count the amount of times girls told me I was "too goofy" or "just a big dork". If they were laughing at everything I said, they had to be attracted to me, right? How wrong I was.
Every girl will tell you she wants a guy that can make her laugh. And YES, THIS IS TRUE. A sense of humor is important, but I think it's a certain kind of humor women are looking for. I think women want a guy who displays a confident sense of humor, rather than a goofy sense of humor. And yes, I think there's a huge difference between a Confident sense of humor and a Goofy sense of humor.
A guy who uses goofy humor does anything for a laugh. He'll put himself down, make fun of himself, or physically abuse himself (just like Jack@ss) to get a laugh. In my high school, there were a lot of kids like this. (I don't know why, but it seemed like all of them either skated, were REALLY scrawny, had long hair (don't ask) or a combination of all three) It's almost like a laugh is the ultimate payment for this kind of guy.
The problem with this is that when you get so focused on making people laugh, you're completely focused on yourself rather than the person in front of you. It seems like if they aren't making you laugh at EVERYTHING they say, they get really nervous and uncomfortable. Sometimes they resort to even more severe forms of self-deprication (physical abuse, etc.) to get a rise out of you. I think the reason they do this is because, at a deep level, they fear the disapproval of other people (and when people aren't laughing they "disapprove") so they make up this histerical character and act it out at all times. And it gets really annoying in the process.
A guy who uses Confident Humor isn't going to be the funniest guy you've ever met. However, the difference between the two is that the guy that uses Confident Humor is not seeking any kind of reaction from anyone else. What he says isn't really funny at all, but HOW he says it is what makes him funny. His vocal tonality, eye contact and posture let others know he is confident in his own skin. He doesn't have to be the center of attention at all times, and people respect him. I think the root of Confident Humor is that this kind of guy is naturally at ease with himself and others, so he doesn't care what others think of him. He says what he wants and doesn't care if people disapprove. ALL the guys that I've known that are good with women (and people in general) have used this kind of humor.
Anyone else noticed this?