Confident body language?

[Matt Rogers]

How do you display confident body language? I was reading a bit of DeAngelo and he is always talking about the importance of confident body language.

Obviously I know all about standing up straight, pulling shoulders back and looking straight ahead.

As far as facial expression goes what should you do? Should you go for a half-smile/slight smirk, big grin and smile or a sort of couldn't give a damn expression? I tend to think a lot and let my mouth drop which people say makes me look incredibly serious, and it is a sort of bad habit I have got into, which is incredibly difficult to change-so I am trying to build a new, relaxed, cool facial expression that I can put on.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

you been here two years and you dun know this by heart? Check out Senor Fingerz bible post on WoMS. It has more than one section, some of his older post that also address the issue. The basic drift of confident Body Language is you take up as much space as possible without looking like you are overcompensating for your insecurities.

Facial expressions: never get too excited when something is going down, become nonchalant about what is happening outside of your world

Smile ****ily, but don't overdue it, Fingerz said it best, your smile shud be that bright spot between the clouds that breaks through every now and then but people don't take it for granted

 

[Matt Rogers]

How do you pull off a nonchalant facial expression. It sounds very good and just what I want to convey, but when I try and do it I end up just looking serious or bored out of my mind.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I use to be called 'stoic' by many of my friends. They all knew that I was deep in thought so they'd give me my space while I pondered the universe.

The way that I worked out of that was to be engaging whenever someone was around. I made sure I was always in 'interact' mode whenever there was a warm body around.

Interacting with people kept me from keeping a serious expression on my face. I would give a full smile when approaching and meeting new people and changed my expression appropriately whenever the subject changed.

In a nutshell, I kept my 'deep thoughts' in check until I was at home in my 'Fortress of Solitude.' Any other time I made sure my purpose was focused externally on the people around me.

 

[Matt Rogers]

Great advice Fransisco, my head is permanently in the clouds and I am permanently deep in thought and it mars my looks.

Oscar Wilde said something to the effect that the truly beautiful must never think.

I find it a great strain to keep a smile on my face as it is not my natural facial expression. Does it get easier as you get used to smiling at people while listening and talking to them?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It definitely gets easier. The more that you actively listen to people, it will become second nature. My problem is that I can become easily distracted if a person is in 'drone' mode. That's when I need to turn up my active listening skills.

I've realized that people get into 'drone mode' when they've regurgitated the same topic countless times without much interaction from other people. I then attempt to guide the person's topic into a direction that is a bit more interesting AND interactive. I don't change the subject mind you, I just ask probing questions that will cause the speaker to make a topical tangent.

Sounds like a lot of work doesn't it? It is, but if you do it actively where you are commenting AND IF POSSIBLE engage other people to solicit THEIR opinion, it will keep you mentally alert and on your toes. Think of it as you being a conductor, not of music and an orchestra but of conversations and people.

 

[Desdinova]

You can't fake confident body language. Once you develope confidence from within, it will show in your body language.

 

[Soma]

Sure you can. There is a direct connection between the mind/body. Both influence each other. Believe you are confident and your bodylanguage will show it. Act like your confident and your bodies actions will make you think you're confident. And the loop continues.

The next time your upset, force yourself to smile BIG for five minutes straight and start acting goofy. See what happens to your mood.

 

[Anaxibios]

I agree w soma (though i can't wait to get in a bad mood to try the last bit).

Internal monologue is also very important... if you keep it positive, you'd be surprised how much more fun you have in life. It's made a difference for me already.