"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Confidence

Canadian Catnip

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Ah, Confidence. That quintessential feeling we all seem to be searching for. Once we find it we are supposedly guaranteed to acquire everything else we wish for in life.

Confidence, that mystical thing that seems to allude every attempt to find it. The Hold Grail of the Don Juan community. One sip from the cup of confidence and we are told that all doors are unlocked, all mysteries are revealed.

Manhood is finally achieved once we've developer this attribute. We are sent directly to heaven and presented with 77 virgins. Sex is ever present for the confident man, hell the universe itself will become subservient to your every whim once you discover CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!

But what is wrong, we search for years and look in every place, listen to others for advice, read books on it and hit our heads on many walls in frustration.

I believe we have been sold a bill of goods. Yes, at the risk of sounding all Zen like and whatnot I believe that confidence may not exist.

Just imagine that confidence didn't exist but was a made up by someone to explain why they did not do something.

"So did you walk up to that hot chick and start talking to her?" "No man, I didn't have the confidence to do it"

I did not have that magical confidence so I didn't do it, but, once I find that confidence I have been looking for I'll get right on it.

What if there was only the decision to do or not do. Either talk to that women or not talk to her. Smile at her or not smile. Touch her or not touch her. Kiss her or not kiss her.

Why do we need this extra confidence thing to get in the way? It seem to screw up more decisions that it helps anyway.

What if you gave up on finding confidence and just made a decision to do something and then did it simply because you decided to do it, nothing else.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ItsOnNow

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What if you have little confidence? Or stronger confidences than others? Or not the confidence you are lookng for?
 

everywomanshero

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My viewpoint is that competence leads to confidence.

Roleplaying can also give one a shot in the arm of confidence.

Waiting for confidence to take action is backwards. Women aren;t going to demonize a man for being nervous, geesh, women get nervous just like men do before dates, speeches, etc. Some guys around here act like women don't fart and **** either.
 

DJVladdy

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I used to get nervous a lot as a kid and teenager. Now it happens alot less often, but when it does, i HATE it. HATE being nervous god damnit.
 

LostAndConfused

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I like this thread.


Perhaps...theres a gene for confidence? I'm really starting to believe this.

People who have the gene are either naturally confidence, or they gain confidence as they enter their final teenage years.

People who don't have this gene can only put up a false show of confidence....and they can say goodbye to being a DJ.

Its pretty common knowledge here that you gain confidence by completing your goals. It makes sense too, duh, you realize that you have completed your goals in the past, you can complete whatever obstacle is in your way. You get more confidence, voila.

But what about those who can't complete their goals............those that legitimately try?

Or, what about those who complete whatever goal they make, but it doesn't fulfill them?

hmm...just some food for thought.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SinJester

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Lol a confidence gene. I'll believe it when they have found scientific proof, wait, no, I still wont.
 

Alphamale1821

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Through the power of belief all things are possible, so if one believes in himself then only his boundaries is what hold him back. LOL their is no confident gene, Confidence for some comes naturally, whether it be due to their enviorment or their upbringing everybody has it. But some never realize that they have confidence due to their own reason's or events that have happened in their life.

Confidence is something inside all of us and it's what can keep us driven to move forward. How do you think we as the human race have survived for so long. Through the power of belief all things are possible. I swear the time you guy's come up with things like is confidence a "Gene" is time you guy's should be trying to get some confidence. Look up confidence building strategies or something, search the forums look up some articles. Confidence changes your life.
 
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