"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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confidence is an emotion ?

carrot

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is confidence an emotion ?
reading up on all types of emotions

Fear Anxiety nervousness , worry
trying to understand much better about each one
any good book that talks about each emotion with examples

Thx
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Atom Smasher

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I would say confidence is a "knowing" that you are well-practiced and well-developed in any kind of endeavor, whether that is social skills or a physical skill.

I wouldn't consider it an emotion but rather a knowing, from which an emotion of satisfaction can flow.
 

Derek Flint

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I would say that it is both an emotion and a mindset.

On somedays, I will wake up and feel incredibly confident, do cold daytime approaches, say and do the right things, etc...

Other times, I just don't have it for some reason no matter how I try to put myself in "state" or if I just had a great night the night before.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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I would say that confidence is a "state" which is a collection of emotions.

I would also say that most emotions, as well as states, are highly interdependent, and can be highly dependent on external variables.

You might be super confident that you could tie your shoes blindfolded, but not so confident that you could get a number from a playboy model.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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dasein

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Confidence is a lack of emotions, or maybe better to say a lack of "feelings," the removal of ego from a transaction, be it a handshake or climbing a rock, just as faith is a lack of belief. Emotionless knowing is confidence, unbelieving but knowing is faith.
 

carrot

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Thanks for all replys

I am doing a new role (sales) and getting nervous sometimes
even though having good service

Working on being not dependant on results and emotionless (hard for me)


dasein said:
Confidence is a lack of emotions, or maybe better to say a lack of "feelings," the removal of ego from a transaction, be it a handshake or climbing a rock, just as faith is a lack of belief. Emotionless knowing is confidence, unbelieving but knowing is faith.
 
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