Confidence Great....Now How do I get it?

[theapprentice]

I think Im getting tired of reading everywhere that a successful man needs confidence in himself and needs to have a high self-esteem. I agree with this statement.

I have also narrowed down the negative thoughts that I have about myself.
1) I am ugly
2) I am stupid
3) My life sucks in comparisoon to yours
4) I am akward and uncool

These are my main negative thoughts that prevail through my day to day life. I was teased like hell up untill the start of college, and hearing negative things about myself 24/7 probably had to do with shaping my self image into a negative one.

Okay so now that we know what I feel and why, how can I go about replacing those negative thoughts and feelings with postive ones. Its not like the brain has a software manual were I can upload confidence.

Is reaffirmations the answer, do I keep telling myself positive things about myself when I am not feeling them. I feel like the reason most people dont improve is because they dont have a good solution to improving their self-esteem.

If reaffirmations isn't it what can I do to replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts so that I start to feel positive about myself. I relaize that thoughts make up a person, but how can I change years of being told I am bad?

 

[trance_addict]

Well obvoiusly, you are able to write this message in decent english, so your not stupid.

"Uncool" has a diverse meaning. "coolness" isn't universal, everyone has their own definition of cool. I guess you could say coolness, is the being easy to get along with?

As for ugly, send a link to a photo?

And as for your life sucking in comparison to ours, are you assuming we all have magnificantly "cool" lives? I'm sure there's somebody on here that has a lower quality of life than you do, or at least somebody in this world, so you probably shouldn't let your over self-concoiusness get the best of you.

 

[theapprentice]

Well

To be honest, yes coolnes is your like ability, and the confident look that you have.

I know Im not stupid but I cant seem to get the feeling out of my body.

I feel like its the coolnes that I lack in, and my comparison makes me feel tat I am far behind others when I shouldnt be comparing in the first place.

 

[zerocelcius]

Stop masterbating!!!

True story I saw it on E-Hollywood True story... and they never lie...

You stop with the spankathons and you will become a monster a wild raging Alpha Male with Giant Nutz!!! I am talking Giant elephant nutz and with nutz that big you will have to have confidence! :yes:

 

[marqZAL]

The easiest way to be more confident is to stop worrying about what others think of you!

 

[Brian Griffin]

People are quick to give a solution to lack of confidence, but few people talk about where it actually comes from. The majority of people who lack confidence also lack a social circle. This case is no exception. (You said you were ridiculed earlier in your life.) It's the guys that sit on their computer all the time, playing video games and eating Cheetos on the weekends that have this problem. Nobody to really call up and hang out with, no possibilities of meeting women, no places to go, etc. If I had to sum up lack of confidence with one word it would be isolation. You feel cut off from the outside world. The only way to fix this problem is to be more of an outgoing person. Not to women, but people in general. Get involved with what's going on around you. Because if you had a social circle, had things to do on the weekends, and had women who were friends, you wouldn't be insecure. There's more then a lack of confidence going on with you.

 

[spread_love]

Please read the quote in my sig...it is that easy, we are all unique and have our own paths and beliefs...the most important belief should be in yourself friend.

 

[Hitman10000]

I have also narrowed down the negative thoughts that I have about myself.
1) I am ugly
2) I am stupid
3) My life sucks in comparisoon to yours
4) I am akward and uncool

1) Make yourself look more handsome
2) Read more books
3) ?
4) Interact with different people

 

[theapprentice]

i agree

People are quick to give a solution to lack of confidence, but few people talk about where it actually comes from. The majority of people who lack confidence also lack a social circle. This case is no exception. (You said you were ridiculed earlier in your life.) It's the guys that sit on their computer all the time, playing video games and eating Cheetos on the weekends that have this problem. Nobody to really call up and hang out with, no possibilities of meeting women, no places to go, etc. If I had to sum up lack of confidence with one word it would be isolation. You feel cut off from the outside world. The only way to fix this problem is to be more of an outgoing person. Not to women, but people in general. Get involved with what's going on around you. Because if you had a social circle, had things to do on the weekends, and had women who were friends, you wouldn't be insecure. There's more then a lack of confidence going on with you.

I agree most people dont want to talk about actual problems but just talk about theory or what not. I think that for there to be a change in the way you think there needs to be a physical stimulus. In other words be more outgoing like you said.

But its those negative tapes that we need to get rid off, how?

 

[Doggystyle]

I posted this in tips about confidence a while ago:-

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109456