"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Confidence and evolutionary psychology

mrRuckus

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect

If confidence implies incompetence, why are women so attracted to it?

I have plenty of ideas, but I'd like to know what you think.




Also, I think this is another reason why you should just fake confidence with all you got: because you have no reason not to be confident because you aren't able to judge accurately whether you should be confident or not anyway.

So stop thinking about it if you lack confidence... the other guys are confident without reason and are successful in life anyway, and if you actually are competent, you are shortchanging yourself anyway. You can come up with a million reasons why you really aren't that good, but be clearly wrong, while over there is the guy you look up to who is less competent than you, but he is probably just too stupid to realize he sucks.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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zekko

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Interesting point.

I don't think women are attracted to confidence really.
Confidence is a fairly complicated concept, as you've noted.

They just want a guy who has some balls. The courage to go do something when it needs to be done. To go kill the saber tooth tiger for supper. To go up to her and make the hookup happen. A man who isn't afraid to take action, and if he is afraid he overcomes it. In other words, the guy who will step up and be a man.
 

Burroughs

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I've experienced this myself. At work I manage over 50 scientists many from India and China with advanced degrees...the ones who are close to me wonder how I got to where I am at such a young age...I tell them connections and good communication skills...they furrow their brows because they realize their years of education will not be sufficient to get them where they want to go.

As to women...how many would have been able to recognize a young bill gates before he made it? (or even after for that matter)...women don't care about confidence or potential...they care about HAWTNESS in the moment and if THEY CAN RECOGNIZE YOU AS FAMOUS...women today are drinking their own azz juices..they have neither the inclination nor the ability to recognize confidence in a man....though don't be a weenie..women sure can pick a loser up in a crowd.
 

Jitterbug

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Interesting to read in the Cross-Cultural Variations section that this appears to be an American-only phenomenon.
 

scrouds

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This really pains me to say, but its time to wean off of wikipedia. Its used at a tool of this current liberal biased society to shape the definitions behind modern discourse.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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