"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Confided in her friend, got burned, what next?

Safari

Don Juan
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I took this HB9+ out, a model with her pics up all over town. Everything went good, lots of kino, and I gave her a quick peck goodnight at the end of the night. She then left overseas for two weeks of work.

During this time, I asked her friend... whom I thought was my friend as well... whether model was available. I confided in her about going out and the quick peck... no big deal I figure.

So model comes back to town, but not to my band's club for quite some time... odd I figure.

Finally she comes in, only because her friends wanted to go there. Body language is very bad. She pulls me aside and was furious at me because our "friend" had broadcasted what I said to her entire social circle. It was said as though I was bragging how there was this big thing happening between us. Not true I said, and I explained exactly what happened. Anyway, this rumor apparently caused her some problems. It got back to a guy she was seeing (whom I didn't know about) whom our "friend" had a ONS with and was now jealous. It seems I was used as ammo in revenge to upset that.

I apololgized profusely and was stunned at what happened.

This same night, model and I are both part of the same group for afterhours clubbing. I tried to just have fun and let it go. She was a bit uncomfortable, but sticking by me nevertheless, talking, some dancing, sitting next to me, etc. End of the night, she thanks me for discussing the incident with her. I have her phone# already, but request email. (I was considering owning up to my mistake and writing a more detailed apology.) She says text her and she'll send it. I text... no reply.

One week later, I take a new date out with this group. This new girl and I were really getting into each other, and the model was trying her best to hide her jealousy. Even my date, aware of the situation, mentioned she thinks the model still likes me.

Yet when the date and I later split off from the group, I come to hear that the model (drunk) openly expressed her grudge toward me, but that most of the blame went to the jealous "friend" who really caused the damage.

So I'd still like to connect with the model. I sense a love/hate thing now. I feel my mistake was only a small one and should be forgiven. Is it salvagable? Am I correct to assume she likes me, but wishes she didn't? Is she just saving face? What, if anything, can I do?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
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Originally posted by jmeredi
she sounds immmature
Yeah, her friend was the one that told everyone but that still leaves the question of what was the purpose of telling her friends anyway? I mean really, what business was it of hers?
 

nishbuk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
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MTL
You already explained the situation. She's either going to understand or she's not. Just keep doing what your doing, and eventually you'll see the signs if it's good go, or if it's not. If it's good, then take action.
 

Metalixia

Don Juan
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If you lot are all the cool suave DJs that you make yourselves out to be, why are you so upset about one girl?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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