Confessions of an ex

[Bigpapa]

I like keeping in touch with exes , as most of the times we kinda brake up in good terms

recently I started talking with one that got married for 1 year , and started telling me about how sh1t her married life , that she is cheating her husband and stuff like that

the summary is this one :

1) her husband is a smart guy that makes good money and has the potential to make even more
2) the husband also takes the marriage life for granted
3) sex is very rare , as she does not want to sleep with him , and when he starts making drama about it , she gives in more because she does not want to feel like a sh1t wife
4) the guy that makes her sweat occasionally also wants commitment from her and to leave her husband
5) after a lot of back and forth she admits that she stays with her husband because of his resources and because she knows he will make even more as time will go by
6) she keeps the other guy as a distraction from her life

in the same time she is also torn apart by living a double life , and she just wants to be relaxed somewhere with a sexy guy with resources

basically , this story , more or less reinforces what we already knew before . And that is that guys with resources are valuable for commitment , while sexy guys make her sweat

To make her sweat you do not need resources, but to make her sweat and have her commitment you also have to have resources

resources only puts you in the bf role from the get go , and as we all know , it is not the best position to be in , at any give point of time

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I like keeping in touch with exes , as most of the times we kinda brake up in good terms

recently I started talking with one that got married for 1 year , and started telling me about how sh1t her married life , that she is cheating her husband and stuff like that

the summary is this one :

1) her husband is a smart guy that makes good money and has the potential to make even more
2) the husband also takes the marriage life for granted
3) sex is very rare , as she does not want to sleep with him , and when he starts making drama about it , she gives in more because she does not want to feel like a sh1t wife
4) the guy that makes her sweat occasionally also wants commitment from her and to leave her husband
5) after a lot of back and forth she admits that she stays with her husband because of his resources and because she knows he will make even more as time will go by
6) she keeps the other guy as a distraction from her life

in the same time she is also torn apart by living a double life , and she just wants to be relaxed somewhere with a sexy guy with resources

basically , this story , more or less reinforces what we already knew before . And that is that guys with resources are valuable for commitment , while sexy guys make her sweat

To make her sweat you do not need resources, but to make her sweat and have her commitment you also have to have resources

resources only puts you in the bf role from the get go , and as we all know , it is not the best position to be in , at any give point of time

While we are not advocates for keeping in touch with exes if it works for you then great. This is solid validation of what is discussed in the manosphere. Women will engage in sexual relationships to fill in gaps in her life, (their interests is highly conditional and circumstantial). But ultimately, it is Hypergamy that will drive her long-term.

Thanks for sharing mate,
Modern Man Advice

 

[Bigpapa]

While we are not advocates for keeping in touch with exes if it works for you then great. This is solid validation of what is discussed in the manosphere. Women will engage in sexual relationships to fill in gaps in her life, (their interests is highly conditional and circumstantial). But ultimately, it is Hypergamy that will drive her long-term.

Thanks for sharing mate,
Modern Man Advice

I heard this multiple times over the time from women , which actually led me to believe that the only way to ensure commitment from a woman without her straying away is for the guy to :

1) At least maintain , but ideally to increase his resources over time

2) at least maintain or increase his sexiness and attractiveness over time , so the woman sees that other women give you approach invitations etc

3) know that is more likely that a woman will stray away than not , if you start regressing in at least one of the above departments , no matter how amazing or cool you think she is . She is like this towards you because you are an amazing guy , not due to the kindness of her heart . If she would see a hobo , maximum that she would feel towards him would be feeling sorry that he is a hobo

4) always lead the relationship , and the maximum balance in terms of relationship power on her end to be 50% , ideally only with things that are not important

 

[Kotaix]

I would be interested to hear from her what changes her husband could make that would actually make her want him again?

You don't need to have resources to get sweaty commitment. You just need to get sweaty commitment. My gf is still sweaty for me after a year and has zero clue how much money I make or how much money I have. She also makes good money so she doesn't need my money.

This is the downside of materialism and status. Ego-driven guys feel the need to show off their wealth and status by buying flashy things, which then attracts women who aren't compatible with him, or the less scrupulous.

This is why I advocate for minimalism. I only attract women who are actually compatible. I don't really have to worry about a woman taking advantage of me because they don't know my worth outside of what they see. And if they start asking about it, big red flag.

Also, marriage was a big mistake for the husband, and is a big mistake overall period. The last thing you want to do is encourage women to stick around because they might get paid. Now he's being used.

 

[Bigpapa]

@Bigpapa 4 very good points. Good heads up for everyone.

Is it safe to say that a woman in her early 20s would quite likely leave a man in his late 30s the second she finds something better? Say, a man in better shape, closer in age to her.

I do not think is the case , because a woman from experience needs first to see a regress to start thinking about other guys

also a guy wealthier than you , taking into consideration that you live a premium or above average lifestyle , might be seen better than you in this regards only if he is super wealthy and has a lifestyle like Dane hlizerian , otherwise she would not notice a big difference between you and him

the biggest threat might be a way better looking guy than you , that she knows will have his commitment and is at least from a resources point of view similar to you , or not a life changing difference

other than this , she might think about hooking up , but will never do it because she would be afraid of loosing you without her getting anything in return . She knows that a sexy guy with resources is hard to find

again this is about the normal woman , the ho3s will cheat on you , and try to destroy your life little by little

 

[Lookatu]

Let's face it, guys have big ego's and we always think we're more attractive than we really are. It is some of these guys that chase women and wanna marry up. If you marry up and aren't equally attractive or you don't have the means to stay fit, attractive, and provide resources, women WILL stray given enough time.

It is compounded even more if the guy is white knight, blue pilled, societally programmed, and has disney dream mentality.

We as guys have the means to control a lot of these factors. Where guys fall off is they think they can relax or give up after they get married. On the contrary, they often have to do more.

As a broken record, guys should ALWAYS be looking to improve physicially, financially, emotionally and ALWAYS provide leadership, masculinity, structure, discipline, direction, vision, purpose, nurturing, protection, comfort, value. If guys lack in any of these and aren't willing to improve, they can only blame themselves.

Basically don't give a woman any excuses to go outside of the relationship. You should be able to provide everything. If you can't, you know what will happen. But in return, you have every right to walk away if you feel your needs aren't being met and the woman isn't doing her part either.

 

[Bigpapa]

All in all , it is tough to be a man , but the rewards are bigger and longer term than being a woman , if you focus on what @Lookatu is pinpointing out

 

[Bigpapa]

Thanks for laying that out. I'm 36, and do enjoy the company of the 22-27 year old crowd. If I'm being honest, I'm a little bit insecure when it comes to the young, hot girl I'm with taking off with the Abercrombie model she met 2 days ago.

I'm in good shape, make good money, live nicely, but......

you do not have to feel insecure , beauty is the reward for putting the work to be a proper man

if I were you , I would take it as positive feedback , meaning that you are doing a great job overall , rather than thinking that they make you a favor for talking with you

 

[Velasco]

. If I'm being honest, I'm a little bit insecure when it comes to the young, hot girl I'm with taking off with the Abercrombie model she met 2 days ago.

mainly depends on her upbringing/values. my mother was married to my father. she in her early 20s and him around your age. and she never cheated on him (religious background) despite him being super insecure/beta. ultimately it was his own insecurity that sabotaged the relationship

 

[Barrister]

Thanks for laying that out. I'm 36, and do enjoy the company of the 22-27 year old crowd. If I'm being honest, I'm a little bit insecure when it comes to the young, hot girl I'm with taking off with the Abercrombie model she met 2 days ago.

I'm in good shape, make good money, live nicely, but......

Don't feel that way -- especially if you are an attractive guy. Your SMV is HIGHER than those guys who are the same age as the women you are dating. Sure, some of the younger 20s crowd are going to go for their own age and that can't be avoided. But if you already have them with you - you can definitely offer her more than a man of her same age can (except in limited circumstances).

 

[Bigpapa]

Don't feel that way -- especially if you are an attractive guy. Your SMV is HIGHER than those guys who are the same age as the women you are dating. Sure, some of the younger 20s crowd are going to go for their own age and that can't be avoided. But if you already have them with you - you can definitely offer her more than a man of her same age can (except in limited circumstances).

I think that an older guy can offer a woman the same things as a younger guy can offer , if there is not a difference bigger than 15-20 years old

otherwise she will be sl8t shammed by society in most cases

in most cases if a guy takes care of himself , people can not make a difference between a 27 years old and a 35 year old as an example

most young people age very bad in most of the times

washing your face with a good face gel that energizes your skin + hydrating gel after does wonders for your face

optionally every week you can do a face mask , one that exfoliates your skin deep , and the next week one for wrinkles and stuff like that

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think that an older guy can offer a woman the same things as a younger guy can offer , if there is not a difference bigger than 15-20 years old

otherwise she will be sl8t shammed by society in most cases

in most cases if a guy takes care of himself , people can not make a difference between a 27 years old and a 35 year old as an example

most young people age very bad in most of the times

washing your face with a good face gel that energizes your skin + hydrating gel after does wonders for your face

optionally every week you can do a face mask , one that exfoliates your skin deep , and the next week one for wrinkles and stuff like that

Thats the thought. But older guy cannot give her peer acceptance. They will "tax" you on your age difference whether your aware or not. They gossip about guys closer to their own age. Gossip causes emotional fluctuations and us part of the social fabric she prioritizes.

 

[Bigpapa]

Thats the thought. But older guy cannot give her peer acceptance. They will "tax" you on your age difference whether your aware or not. They gossip about guys closer to their own age. Gossip causes emotional fluctuations and us part of the social fabric she prioritizes.

yeah , if she is 20 and you are 35 and take care of yourself , people will not really able to gauge your age that well , so it is ok

if she is 20 and your are 45 , even taking good care of yourself , people will be able to gauge that there is a big age gap between the two of you

this is why usually being in your 50s and wanting to bang girls in the 20s will not work , unless she is a little bit of a gold digger herself

it might happen , but it happens less often than we would like it to happen

when you are in your 50s it is more feasible to focus on the 28+ echanlon , to have an overall higher chance of finding a quality woman

 

[mrgoodstuff]

yeah , if she is 20 and you are 35 and take care of yourself , people will not really able to gauge your age that well , so it is ok

if she is 20 and your are 45 , even taking good care of yourself , people will be able to gauge that there is a big age gap between the two of you

this is why usually being in your 50s and wanting to bang girls in the 20s will not work , unless she is a little bit of a gold digger herself

it might happen , but it happens less often than we would like it to happen

when you are in your 50s it is more feasible to focus on the 28+ echanlon , to have an overall higher chance of finding a quality woman

They gossip about guys in their groups. Former high school, college, fraternity and social cliques. You will still be able to bang them outside this. Fitting into their group is alot more important to them than most of us is willing to accept. As an older you can have the job, the popularity, the physical image that's hot to her. But beneath it all even if they deal with us they'd rather someone closer to their age to have what you have. Bang them out though. I was just saying, that's what we are up against.

 

[bat soup]

I like keeping in touch with exes , as most of the times we kinda brake up in good terms

recently I started talking with one that got married for 1 year , and started telling me about how sh1t her married life , that she is cheating her husband and stuff like that

the summary is this one :

1) her husband is a smart guy that makes good money and has the potential to make even more
2) the husband also takes the marriage life for granted
3) sex is very rare , as she does not want to sleep with him , and when he starts making drama about it , she gives in more because she does not want to feel like a sh1t wife
4) the guy that makes her sweat occasionally also wants commitment from her and to leave her husband
5) after a lot of back and forth she admits that she stays with her husband because of his resources and because she knows he will make even more as time will go by
6) she keeps the other guy as a distraction from her life

in the same time she is also torn apart by living a double life , and she just wants to be relaxed somewhere with a sexy guy with resources

basically , this story , more or less reinforces what we already knew before . And that is that guys with resources are valuable for commitment , while sexy guys make her sweat

To make her sweat you do not need resources, but to make her sweat and have her commitment you also have to have resources

resources only puts you in the bf role from the get go , and as we all know , it is not the best position to be in , at any give point of time

She sounds like a piece of work.

 

[Lookatu]

Guys, you need to quit trying to qualify yourself to her.

Ask yourself besides her looks and what's in between her legs, what else can she offer? That's right, ask her that hypothetical question and knock them off their pedestal that other simps have built her and have her qualify herself to you.

Too many girls these days think their $hit don't stink.

 

[Barrister]

Guys, you need to quit trying to qualify yourself to her.

Ask yourself besides her looks and what's in between her legs, what else can she offer? That's right, ask her that hypothetical question and knock them off their pedestal that other simps have built her and have her qualify herself to you.
Too many girls these days think their $hit don't stink.

In fairness - if you asked her this question you aren’t getting laid that night. But I would say the shock factor alone might almost be worth it!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

yeah , if she is 20 and you are 35 and take care of yourself , people will not really able to gauge your age that well , so it is ok

if she is 20 and your are 45 , even taking good care of yourself , people will be able to gauge that there is a big age gap between the two of you

this is why usually being in your 50s and wanting to bang girls in the 20s will not work , unless she is a little bit of a gold digger herself

it might happen , but it happens less often than we would like it to happen

when you are in your 50s it is more feasible to focus on the 28+ echanlon , to have an overall higher chance of finding a quality woman

For 50, 30 and up is safe and they can value you. 35 is a safe bet in that they are devalued by their own age. But mightve bump their head enough to be able to value a man like you.

 

[MoMoses]

Don't feel that way -- especially if you are an attractive guy. Your SMV is HIGHER than those guys who are the same age as the women you are dating. Sure, some of the younger 20s crowd are going to go for their own age and that can't be avoided. But if you already have them with you - you can definitely offer her more than a man of her same age can (except in limited circumstances).

²

Just don't join her and her same age friends on a pub crawl. That's just sad. Don't try and act like you're still young and up with what's cool. Act your age because that's attractive.

 

[MoMoses]

Hey man, what player is your avatar? I'm a big soccer fan, but don't recognize him.

Youri Tielemans, Belgian playing for Leicester City