Confess my love?

[Single_Sucks]

2000 - Start liking this girl, who is also my friend

2001 - ask her out, she agrees and we go on one date but that's it

2003 - I walk her home from a big party and then have sex with her (1st time)

2004 - Begin relationship with totally different girl

2005 - End relationship with other girl, single again. Almost immediately the original girl I like invites me to have sex with her again, so I do.

2006 - Having casual sex with her on a regular basis, I ask her if she wants to get serious with me a couple of times but she declines. At this time I would prefer to make her my actual girlfriend. We keep having sex.

2007 - Still sleeping with her regularly. But then suddenly she starts declining opportunities for sex, making excuses etc. I decide to play it cool and not chase her but still no more sex is coming my way.

NOW 2008 - On 2 occasions I have snogged her but the last time I had sex with her was a year ago. The last time I kissed her was 5 months ago. I am feeling desperately in love with her. Playing it cool still, but starting to crack.

NEXT WEEK???? - I am feeling very much that I must take her somewhere private and make a big declaration of how I feel about her. Or at least let her know that I love her in simple terms. It could happen very soon, for my own sanity.

BUT I NEED YOUR GUYS OPINIONS ON THIS FIRST, IT MEANS ALOT ! CHEERS

OTHERWISE ADVISE ON HOW BEST TO HANDLE MY SITUATION ! THANKS

 

[immrtlwun]

Read the DJ bible, then rethink all of that. You guys had attraction at one point, that attraction died for her, but you're still hung up on her. She has moved on, and you need to as well. Confessing your love will only push her farther away and make you seem desperate. Move on and find new girls.

 

[Single_Sucks]

yes I know the DJ stuff deep down, but these very strong emotions are overriding it all. Which is why I require people here to tell me what is what before I do something dumb.

P.S. I have been dating other girls, getting numbers. Quite a few but none which worked out yet.

 

[Smack]

Well keep looking then.

"Confessing your love", as you know, will not have the intended effect.

 

[Single_Sucks]

...

The fear is that she will end up with someone else if I just sit back and do nothing.

I will, however, avoid saying anything serious and be generally be indifferent/uncaring towards her when I see her tonight (with friends). If only because my DJ instincts tell me that. But I hope it is the right thing to do. I would still like more opinions...

 

[WalkingStick]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but I'll give you honesty

Confessing your love wont help. If she doesnt like you, you cant make her.If she does, she'll come to you when you start distancing yourself.

I can't imagine exactly how you feel, but you have to move on.

 

[Single_Sucks]

...

Honesty is exactly what I want to hear, thank you

Now that I've had some good feed-back i'm ready to really distance myself from her (when I am with my friends tonight). It's gonna be like she dosn't even exist!

 

[Single_Sucks]

I never claimed to be a DJ, I said I know the stuff deep down, the basics. I never said that I am yet capable of acting it out properly.

I do play it cool, the things I have told you I do not express to her. I have never appeared desperate to her obviously...I am very easygoing actually.

I came to this forum because I thought this declaration of love might be a stupid idea and wanted some opinions. Any man is capable of falling so deeply in love that things dont quite make sense, . Its a girl I see several times every week and I just wanted some guidance

Now calm down boy.

 

[falcon814]

Were just giving you advice bud.

Like everyone said, confessing will push her farther away.

Id suggest you move on and keep ****ing/dating other chix. If she felt anything about u, she will contact you sooner or later.

 

[Single_Sucks]

Thanks Falcon, that last comment was aimed at DonS's abruptness. But the advice from everyone who has contributed here rings true and is much appreciated. I am back to the better mindset now.

It's strange what the heart can make one believe sometimes, but I believe this post is at a natural conclusion now. Thank you all.

 

[falcon814]

im glad your taking our advice.
I was in your shoes about 4 years ago.. and i made the wrong decision.
BAD move.

Lesson learned.

 

[DJ Shaka]

Confessing your love is the worst thing to do, sorry.

 

[Single_Sucks]

6 answers all saying the same thing.

I am definately NOT declaring my love then!

sosuave saves the day yet again haha

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Yes definitely don't do that, it will only hurt you more. Look at the pattern of what she has done and how she acts with you and you'll see why she's got you to fall in love with her. What she did is just what guys on this forum preach to do to women, and it works. The game is very much a two-way street my friend.

 

[DonGorgon]

2006 - ...I ask her if she wants to get serious with me a couple of times but she declines. At this time I would prefer to make her my actual girlfriend. We keep having sex.

^^^Right there is where you lost the game... She should have asked you to only see her... Women do what they want to do.. She knew she could have you anytime she wanted, she knew you wanted her. And she knew she did not want you enough to be exclusive... and exclusivity is something women want when they find a man they really want...

You need to move on from her... She is not into you as much as you are into her and she is not ready to settle at least not for you.... I am willing to bet $500 that she F'ed 10 times as many people as you did during this whole "friendship/relationship"

 

[Single_Sucks]

True enough, true enough.

I tried, I did, played it very cool for the first 5-6 times I had sex with her but then eventually I couldn't help feeling bonded with her...to the extent where I guess I thought I was in control and let my game broke down a little bit. Then the cracks from that escalted into what we have seen here - a total game failure!

grrr

 

[nismo-4]

NEVER CONFESS YOUR LOVE!!! btw, is that in the bible?

Confessing your love is basically telling a woman that you're a creep.

 

[Single_Sucks]

Thanks for the advice, yup that's exactly what happened

I will cut all contact - as much as I can. She is part of my group of friends so total physicall avoidance will be impossible, but I will make sure the correct attitude is employed.

 

[Chipleader]

Let me just check the oneitis meter ---> ****!! Youve blown the bastard to pieces.

 

[Single_Sucks]

Yeh I am terrible at breaking oneitis

Even though I stated that I would totally ignore this chick I ended up socialising with her. I was at my friends house and lots of people were around there socialising. I sat on a sofa next to my oneitis because it was the only place to sit and then I engaged in conversation with her.

It just seemed like the most natural thing to do, but I DID have other options to not be around her, judging by this thread I should have got out of there. But just didnt think it through hard enough, started conversing with her again, ended up being 'nice' to her again.

How do you NEXT someone who will always be there hanging around with friends?? Its not so simple...