"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Concerning Masculinity

Nocturnal

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Last night I glanced over Pook's "Feminism on Trial" post, and afterward I had a thought lingering in my mind...

It's not necessarily very obvious, but it seems as though society's definition of masculinity includes a disregard for one's physical appearance. For example, a "real man" would not care about how his hair looked or if he were wearing nice clothes. However, women do find men with good-looking hair and clothes more attractive. (This is not to be confused with building muscle, as that serves other purposes).

Why the discrepency? Obviously men are more concerned with the physical aspects of women than women are of our own, but women's attraction to us is also partially based on our appearance, just like our attraction to them changes with their personality. But if it really is important to be concerned with one's appearance (I'm talking about men), then why does society's image of a manly man contradict that?

Just thought I'd open it up for discussion.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sfalexi

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I think that society's portrayal of a man DOES take into account clothing and personal appearance. Look at most TV shows out there. Unless it's a flat-out comedy (in which case the actors are there for their comedic sense and pretty much solely their ability to make people laugh), the guys ARE dressed nice, with nice hair, well toned (whether skinny, muscular, etc. always in relatively decent shape and not obese), and in general are on the more attractive side.

I think from soap operas (of course), even to the comedy-dramas or even just dramas you see on prime-time television, you will NOT find a guy that isn't well-groomed and dressed nicely (barring, once again, comedies).

Alexi
 

Virtú

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Dress and groom for the occasion; I doubt that it's any more complicated than that.
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by sfalexi
I think that society's portrayal of a man DOES take into account clothing and personal appearance. Look at most TV shows out there. Unless it's a flat-out comedy (in which case the actors are there for their comedic sense and pretty much solely their ability to make people laugh), the guys ARE dressed nice, with nice hair, well toned (whether skinny, muscular, etc. always in relatively decent shape and not obese), and in general are on the more attractive side.

I think from soap operas (of course), even to the comedy-dramas or even just dramas you see on prime-time television, you will NOT find a guy that isn't well-groomed and dressed nicely (barring, once again, comedies).

Alexi
I think you're right, but I also that it is not always consistent, whereas other characteristics of masculinity are.
 

ScrewIt

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what about work?
my taste in clothing have changed.

half a year back, i would wear somewhat casual clothes/shoes with a spiked up head. now with winter and my changed wardrobe, i usually end up wearing a hat with hoodie and jacket and a t-shirt underneath with jeans. take off my hat and my heads messed up, but i dont care anymore. As i walk in day in day out in the same job.

i think the reason why some women like a guy well groomed and looking his best is that its a first impression per say.
You should be able to tell he isnt a slob and knows how to take care of himself and possibly has good tastes according to his clothing.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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00Kevin

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Originally posted by Nocturnal
Last night I glanced over Pook's "Feminism on Trial" post, and afterward I had a thought lingering in my mind...

It's not necessarily very obvious, but it seems as though society's definition of masculinity includes a disregard for one's physical appearance. For example, a "real man" would not care about how his hair looked or if he were wearing nice clothes. However, women do find men with good-looking hair and clothes more attractive. (This is not to be confused with building muscle, as that serves other purposes).

Why the discrepency? Obviously men are more concerned with the physical aspects of women than women are of our own, but women's attraction to us is also partially based on our appearance, just like our attraction to them changes with their personality. But if it really is important to be concerned with one's appearance (I'm talking about men), then why does society's image of a manly man contradict that?

Just thought I'd open it up for discussion.
Well i would disagree that the definition of a real man does not include apperance. Real men are clean cut and dress well. We just don't go as far as a woman does. The fact is men who are rugged looking are attractive to women. A woman will see an unshaven man and think that he might do a good job at pleasing her because he is strong and rugged looking.

Men and women are attracted to different things.

There is nothing that says that a man should not be clean and dress well. A real man isn't a slob. Even basic training in the military will teach you that.

Feminism wants you to think that "Real Men" are slobs and are not clean. They want to promote feminine qualities by bashing masculine ones.
 

Nocturnal

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Re: Re: Concerning Masculinity

Originally posted by 00Kevin
Well i would disagree that the definition of a real man does not include apperance.
I'm talking about how society's definition of a man is kind of ambiguous on that, sometimes saying it's not masculine, and asking why that it is so ambiguous.
 

catch

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i dont think that society is ambiguous like you say, although you have a point that is a interesting one, it almost contradicts the question of wich you ask.

you see, where you find a difference in the appearence of a man and the masculinty of a man, to be out of societys context your just confusing apearence with attitude so to speak..

they both do, however represent masculinity, but they both must
be in unison with each other..they both must be at one, an equaly existing representation of masculinity...
 
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