"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Concerning Masculinity

Nocturnal

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Last night I glanced over Pook's "Feminism on Trial" post, and afterward I had a thought lingering in my mind...

It's not necessarily very obvious, but it seems as though society's definition of masculinity includes a disregard for one's physical appearance. For example, a "real man" would not care about how his hair looked or if he were wearing nice clothes. However, women do find men with good-looking hair and clothes more attractive. (This is not to be confused with building muscle, as that serves other purposes).

Why the discrepency? Obviously men are more concerned with the physical aspects of women than women are of our own, but women's attraction to us is also partially based on our appearance, just like our attraction to them changes with their personality. But if it really is important to be concerned with one's appearance (I'm talking about men), then why does society's image of a manly man contradict that?

Just thought I'd open it up for discussion.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sfalexi

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I think that society's portrayal of a man DOES take into account clothing and personal appearance. Look at most TV shows out there. Unless it's a flat-out comedy (in which case the actors are there for their comedic sense and pretty much solely their ability to make people laugh), the guys ARE dressed nice, with nice hair, well toned (whether skinny, muscular, etc. always in relatively decent shape and not obese), and in general are on the more attractive side.

I think from soap operas (of course), even to the comedy-dramas or even just dramas you see on prime-time television, you will NOT find a guy that isn't well-groomed and dressed nicely (barring, once again, comedies).

Alexi
 

Virtú

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Dress and groom for the occasion; I doubt that it's any more complicated than that.
 

Nocturnal

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Originally posted by sfalexi
I think that society's portrayal of a man DOES take into account clothing and personal appearance. Look at most TV shows out there. Unless it's a flat-out comedy (in which case the actors are there for their comedic sense and pretty much solely their ability to make people laugh), the guys ARE dressed nice, with nice hair, well toned (whether skinny, muscular, etc. always in relatively decent shape and not obese), and in general are on the more attractive side.

I think from soap operas (of course), even to the comedy-dramas or even just dramas you see on prime-time television, you will NOT find a guy that isn't well-groomed and dressed nicely (barring, once again, comedies).

Alexi
I think you're right, but I also that it is not always consistent, whereas other characteristics of masculinity are.
 

ScrewIt

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what about work?
my taste in clothing have changed.

half a year back, i would wear somewhat casual clothes/shoes with a spiked up head. now with winter and my changed wardrobe, i usually end up wearing a hat with hoodie and jacket and a t-shirt underneath with jeans. take off my hat and my heads messed up, but i dont care anymore. As i walk in day in day out in the same job.

i think the reason why some women like a guy well groomed and looking his best is that its a first impression per say.
You should be able to tell he isnt a slob and knows how to take care of himself and possibly has good tastes according to his clothing.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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00Kevin

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Originally posted by Nocturnal
Last night I glanced over Pook's "Feminism on Trial" post, and afterward I had a thought lingering in my mind...

It's not necessarily very obvious, but it seems as though society's definition of masculinity includes a disregard for one's physical appearance. For example, a "real man" would not care about how his hair looked or if he were wearing nice clothes. However, women do find men with good-looking hair and clothes more attractive. (This is not to be confused with building muscle, as that serves other purposes).

Why the discrepency? Obviously men are more concerned with the physical aspects of women than women are of our own, but women's attraction to us is also partially based on our appearance, just like our attraction to them changes with their personality. But if it really is important to be concerned with one's appearance (I'm talking about men), then why does society's image of a manly man contradict that?

Just thought I'd open it up for discussion.
Well i would disagree that the definition of a real man does not include apperance. Real men are clean cut and dress well. We just don't go as far as a woman does. The fact is men who are rugged looking are attractive to women. A woman will see an unshaven man and think that he might do a good job at pleasing her because he is strong and rugged looking.

Men and women are attracted to different things.

There is nothing that says that a man should not be clean and dress well. A real man isn't a slob. Even basic training in the military will teach you that.

Feminism wants you to think that "Real Men" are slobs and are not clean. They want to promote feminine qualities by bashing masculine ones.
 

Nocturnal

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Re: Re: Concerning Masculinity

Originally posted by 00Kevin
Well i would disagree that the definition of a real man does not include apperance.
I'm talking about how society's definition of a man is kind of ambiguous on that, sometimes saying it's not masculine, and asking why that it is so ambiguous.
 

catch

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i dont think that society is ambiguous like you say, although you have a point that is a interesting one, it almost contradicts the question of wich you ask.

you see, where you find a difference in the appearence of a man and the masculinty of a man, to be out of societys context your just confusing apearence with attitude so to speak..

they both do, however represent masculinity, but they both must
be in unison with each other..they both must be at one, an equaly existing representation of masculinity...
 
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