Comprehensive subtle Red Flag list

[Aenigma]

Its been said multiple times on this forum that women always give off "red flags" as to how they're going to act in a relationship with you. Lets get a list going of the more subtle "Red Flags" that the DJs here should watch out for.

 

[KontrollerX]

Before I begin I will of course say there are exceptions to every rule and some guy's red flags may be another guy's green light.

With that said my tentative list!

1. Telling you a story in a casual manner about how awful she treated her ex boyfriend at the end of the relationship ie cutting him off with no explanation and telling you it was because he bored her or she wanted to see what was out there or someother garbage frivolous reason like that as how they tell you they treated the last guy is a good indicator of how they'll treat you. The story will be put forth in such a way that you are seen as the new and exciting alternative which serves to give you a false sense of confidence surrounding your dealings with this kind of woman.

2. Cheating on her boyfriend to be with you or looking at you as the better deal and dumping her boyfriend for you. In either case you've been awarded no "lady" here but a cheating scumbag with a wandering eye. This woman is no prize DJ's. She is a fvck and a chuck at best and you are deluding yourself to imagine otherwise. She can do it to a previous man she can most certainly do this to you. She has no morals or internal restraint or sense of obligation. Like a child she only sees what she wants in the moment and goes after it. Collateral damage she does to you and others emotionally is a non issue for her. So avoid the impulsive types for anything but a fvck and a chuck because despite their exciting nature a fvck is all they are good for...and then a chuck.

3. Myspace user- chicks deep into this are still perusing the meat market shopping for fresh young studs to fill up the various empty holes in their life emotionally and of course...otherwise.

4. Ex drug user/current drug user- self explanatory.

5. Born Again Virgin- what a fvcking crock of sh!t. The Christians have really pulled the mother of all whoppers this time around guys. You find yourself getting flights of fantasy make sure your plane eventually lands in the state of reality. Accept nothing less from this woman than she's given other men before you despite this born again virgin status and that means you get as much sex or more than previous guys did or you walk. Anything less from you and you are playing yourself.

6. Single Mommies- Just say no. No man with an ounce of self respect will ever entertain raising another man's offspring or setting himself up to pay child support he should not owe. Leave these women to the Knights out there ie the AFC's people.

7. A chick that tells you to wait for her while she goes away for six months to whatever place but before leaving she assures you she will remain faithful. Cuckoldry is not a virtue gentlemen. It is the utmost of foolishness and lack of common sense and respect for oneself. Instead fvck other chicks while she is away and if she comes back and still wants your c0ck fvck her too but never take her seriously for a relationship.

8. Indications of apparent self injury such as cutting, burns or scars marks. The only exceptions to this rule are chicks who can verifiably prove they received said injuries via car accident, sporting related injuries or someother legitimate non psycho b!tch reason.

9. The Professional Victim- A girl who manipulates you into trusting her through her apparent vulnerability and how others have treated her oh so bad during her entire life including ex boyfriends, friends and family members. If a chick immediately lays out her entire life story to you and it is one of sadness you are being drawn into the Capn Save a H0 mentality which is very similar to how a magician destracts his audience by having pretty show girls dancing around while he performs his tricks. In other words the girls false vulnerability is what you are paying attention to while she does many dirty things that are harmful to your relationship outside of your view.

 

[Jitterbug]

Excellent list, KontrollerX.

I'd personally extend your first redflag, if I consider a girl for a relationship, to her treatment of other people, not just her ex-BFs. How a woman treats other people will reflect how she will treat you, after the initial acts that she put up go away. That's essentially what my father told me when I asked why he decided to marry my mother. The deciding factor that made her win over his other potentials was that she was kind towards everyone and went out of her way to help people, not just him.

 

[Magma]

4. Ex drug user/current drug user- self explanatory.

I would like to expand of this one.

My last GF had a history of cocaine abuse/addiction. Things were great for about 4 months. She wasn't using anymore and was on track to apply for law school. She was having difficulties at work and her relationship with her parents was becoming strained. One night, she said she just needed to let off some steam and picked up a teener from a friend.

My tolerance for drug use with my GF's is a little higher than the average guy on here, so I didn't take it as that big of a deal. Mostly the drug use has involved alcohol or a little ganja with my GF's. BIG MISTAKE!!! My tune has changed since her...

GUYS!!! DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH A COKE WH0RE!!! The lies begin and then it's all over. The slippery slope gets more slippery, and then it's over. She almost drug me down with her, and I have been sober for a little over 2 years now.

You'll find very prominent members of your community in the bathroom snorting. If you're around enough parties and are old enough (at least 25), you'll see it. It's everywhere. DON'T FALL INTO THE TRAP!! If she tries to tell you that she has it under control, kick her azz to the curb and tell her to kick rocks.

This red flag is not SUBTLE. It's right there in your face. If you choose to ignore this one because she is hot and the sex is great, then don't say that you weren't warned.

Respect.

 

[Colossus]

This red flag is not SUBTLE. It's right there in your face. If you choose to ignore this one because she is hot and the sex is great, then don't say that you weren't warned.

Respect.

I was about to point that out.

Good list KONTROLLER, but none of those are really subtle...except maybe #1. Most of that is pretty blatant.

In regards to drugs, I have no problems with moderate drinking and ganja. Pot (and drug use in general) is a pretty divisive issue. Most people have personal reasons why they do or dont tolerate it. IMO, drinking has far worse consequences and implications than mary jane; but thats a debate for another thread.

A few red flags of my own:

-Any woman who has significant issues with sex. "Significant" to me is anything other than a healthy attitude and a good libido. If a woman is fussy or too particular about sex now, it will NOT get any better with time. That includes the "make him wait" game.

-Poor relationship with her father. DO NOT underestimate this!!!

-Regular negative comments or jokes about men. Outside of the occaisional jest, this is a telltale sign of misandry and ultimately alludes to a lack of personal accoutability.

-Inability to hold a job or stay in school.

-Living entirely off parental support.

-Women who are obsessed with thier pets! Watch out!

-And of course, any indication of a history of cheating or treating her past bf's like garbage; regardless of their AFC status.

There are TONS of red flags. Some of them are just based on preferences, and others are indicative of behavior patterns and emotional issues. Those are the ones everyone should be keen on.

 

[Faded Image]

Before I begin I will of course say there are exceptions to every rule and some guy's red flags may be another guy's green light.

With that said my tentative list!

1. Telling you a story in a casual manner about how awful she treated her ex boyfriend at the end of the relationship ie cutting him off with no explanation and telling you it was because he bored her or she wanted to see what was out there or someother garbage frivolous reason like that as how they tell you they treated the last guy is a good indicator of how they'll treat you. The story will be put forth in such a way that you are seen as the new and exciting alternative which serves to give you a false sense of confidence surrounding your dealings with this kind of woman.

2. Cheating on her boyfriend to be with you or looking at you as the better deal and dumping her boyfriend for you. In either case you've been awarded no "lady" here but a cheating scumbag with a wandering eye. This woman is no prize DJ's. She is a fvck and a chuck at best and you are deluding yourself to imagine otherwise. She can do it to a previous man she can most certainly do this to you. She has no morals or internal restraint or sense of obligation. Like a child she only sees what she wants in the moment and goes after it. Collateral damage she does to you and others emotionally is a non issue for her. So avoid the impulsive types for anything but a fvck and a chuck because despite their exciting nature a fvck is all they are good for...and then a chuck.

3. Myspace user- chicks deep into this are still perusing the meat market shopping for fresh young studs to fill up the various empty holes in their life emotionally and of course...otherwise.

4. Ex drug user/current drug user- self explanatory.

5. Born Again Virgin- what a fvcking crock of sh!t. The Christians have really pulled the mother of all whoppers this time around guys. You find yourself getting flights of fantasy make sure your plane eventually lands in the state of reality. Accept nothing less from this woman than she's given other men before you despite this born again virgin status and that means you get as much sex or more than previous guys did or you walk. Anything less from you and you are playing yourself.

6. Single Mommies- Just say no. No man with an ounce of self respect will ever entertain raising another man's offspring or setting himself up to pay child support he should not owe. Leave these women to the Knights out there ie the AFC's people.

7. A chick that tells you to wait for her while she goes away for six months to whatever place but before leaving she assures you she will remain faithful. Cuckoldry is not a virtue gentlemen. It is the utmost of foolishness and lack of common sense and respect for oneself. Instead fvck other chicks while she is away and if she comes back and still wants your c0ck fvck her too but never take her seriously for a relationship.

8. Indications of apparent self injury such as cutting, burns or scars marks. The only exceptions to this rule are chicks who can verifiably prove they received said injuries via car accident, sporting related injuries or someother legitimate non psycho b!tch reason.

9. The Professional Victim- A girl who manipulates you into trusting her through her apparent vulnerability and how others have treated her oh so bad during her entire life including ex boyfriends, friends and family members. If a chick immediately lays out her entire life story to you and it is one of sadness you are being drawn into the Capn Save a H0 mentality which is very similar to how a magician destracts his audience by having pretty show girls dancing around while he performs his tricks. In other words the girls false vulnerability is what you are paying attention to while she does many dirty things that are harmful to your relationship outside of your view.

That pretty much sums up most of it.

 

[Aenigma]

-Poor relationship with her father. DO NOT underestimate this!!!

I think this needs to be elaborated upon, what is this signifigance of this?

 

[Warrior74]

I think this needs to be elaborated upon, what is this signifigance of this?

The father is her model of what a man should be. If she hates her dad, how is she gonna feel about a strong male trying to lead?

I was seeing a girl who HATED her father, when I would lead in anything, make a decision, she would constantly argue and fight even if it was what she wanted to do. She always talked crap about men as well. When I was nice, she talked even more man hating crap, when I was assertive, we fought all the time. I blame the parents. Her mom constantly bad mouthed her dad and had a string of boyfriends.

Poor models for how to behave in a relationship.

 

[Phyzzle]

The thing about the father is a perfect example of a SUBTLE red flag. One woman I dated had never met her father. I remembered reading on here that an absent/hated father was bad news, but I wasn't worried. Everything else about her was fine. No getting intoxicated, no bad mouthing anyone, no signs of craziness.

Yet the sudden and inexplicable hate in evidence when she broke it off went a little overboard. I've seen teenage girls do breakups more gracefully, and this one was 24.

 

[Luveno]

-Poor relationship with her father. DO NOT underestimate this!!!
.

This is HUGE. If a girl has a poor or no relationship with her father, then avoid! She will either hate men, or become so smotheringly clingy you'll wish you never met her.


ANOTHER HUGE RED FLAG:
Girls who dye their hair unnatural colours. This ESPECIALLY holds true if she dyed it herself. These girls always tend to exhibit some sort of cluster B disorder.

 

[romangod]

My Red Flags for a LTR or marriage but perfect for unemotional romps in the sack:

1. An ardent feminist.

2. On medication for psychological reasons.

3. Deeply in debt and loves to shop.

4. Drinking and drug problem.

5. An atheist or member of some cult.

6. A long list of men she has slept with.

7. Eats like a pig with no excercise and brags about how she never puts on weight.

8. French.

 

[Knight's Cross]

I went on a date last week with a prospect and she said that one of the guys she recently went out with kept calling her and that she didn't return his calls. Basically she drove him to a AFC move of asking if she was mad at him. BIG RED FLAG on communication. She looked across the table and said to me,"uh-oh I guess that's a red flag to you". My response was,"Yeah, it sure is". I didn't call her out with a long dissertation I stopped with just the above, (she's a chick that I'm sure wouldn't get it).

So my red flag is anyone that has issues communicating. I've always respected women that said they weren't about me after a date. Just as I let women know exactly the same if I don't feel a click.

KC

 

[My Name is Nobody]

So, when this girl I just dated loved to smoke weed, wanted to snort coke and she dropped out of college and put out on the first date. I should have been alarmed?

Damn and I wonder why she has dissapeared off the face of the planet.

But she was hot, who cares about flags.

 

[Colossus]

So my red flag is anyone that has issues communicating. I've always respected women that said they weren't about me after a date. Just as I let women know exactly the same if I don't feel a click.

KC

Good point KC.

My last gf was a terrible communicator, and it really left a sour taste in my mouth. I may tolerate some mild flakiness if a girl is hot and my interest in her is purely for sex, but my tolerance for not returning calls, flaking on dates, or changing plans at the last minute is ZERO. Women who are bad communicators or who dont respect your time will present signs from day one. Trust me fellas, it DOES NOT get any better with time!!!

 

[decades]

ANOTHER HUGE RED FLAG:
Girls who dye their hair unnatural colours. This ESPECIALLY holds true if she dyed it herself. These girls always tend to exhibit some sort of cluster B disorder.

Nice observation. I would also add girls who have a "goth" look. Lots of tats. Lots of piercings, too much leather, those half glove thingys. Also look for weird often bright color combinations, weird hats and scarves, dressing much younger than they are ---- anything that "makes" you look twice. Women who wear way too much jewelry often have a problem with clutter, which can be a symptom of other disorders. What is the common denominator here? Attention seeking behavior ====> cluster B in a nutshell. These kind of women may be fine for casual physical relationships but beware making one a permanent fixture in your life.

What we are looking for gents is Anne Hathaway in Devil Wears Prada - PRE makeover.

 

[decades]

Beware of women who "drop hints" in conversation, then make you go on a fishing expedition to get the "facts". It might be about some guy on the subway or bus. Or a guy at the office you know she has interaction with, or an ex-boyfriend who hasn't entirely gone away. She might then say "you don't really want to hear about that. Do you PE?". Or she may just say I will tell you later, then conveniently forgets to, in the hopes you will inquire (this is a test). This is a subtle form of jealousy making and will undermine the relationship.

Watch out for "nitpickers" - women who make a big deal out of little things. Death by a thousand cuts! A woman who has to have it her way, and who has trouble going with the flow, or absorbing the ups and downs of life, will also prove to be tough to get along with.

 

[betterthandead]

One's "red flag list" may be another's list for "compatibility criteria" . There might be some guys in here who also had a bad parents who *SHOULD* be in relationships with a girl who had bad parents. Two negatives equate a positive especially if they're communicative that way it would separate them from individuals who are able to cope maturely or at least had a better background.

Each person has their own red flag list and it's not universal. Why should a fat bald 2-3 drink a day guy have a chance with attractive skinny woman. I should have that, they gotta go for fat 2-3 drink women.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Beware of women who "drop hints" in conversation, then make you go on a fishing expedition to get the "facts". It might be about some guy on the subway or bus. Or a guy at the office you know she has interaction with, or an ex-boyfriend who hasn't entirely gone away. She might then say "you don't really want to hear about that. Do you PE?". Or she may just say I will tell you later, then conveniently forgets to, in the hopes you will inquire (this is a test). This is a subtle form of jealousy making and will undermine the relationship.

Watch out for "nitpickers" - women who make a big deal out of little things. Death by a thousand cuts! A woman who has to have it her way, and who has trouble going with the flow, or absorbing the ups and downs of life, will also prove to be tough to get along with."

Great list persistant exaction.

The first part of it describes an extroverted type of HPD ie outgoing (the kind of HPD most sosuavers run into).

The second part of it describes an introverted type of HPD ie passive aggressive.

And I wouldn't be surprised if non HPD's exhibited this behaviour as well.

Either way its a huge negative unless one is a masochist actively looking for someone to bring pain into their life.

"One's "red flag list" may be another's list for "compatibility criteria" . There might be some guys in here who also had a bad parents who *SHOULD* be in relationships with a girl who had bad parents. Two negatives equate a positive especially if they're communicative that way it would separate them from individuals who are able to cope maturely or at least had a better background."

Sorry bro can't disagree with you enough here.

What guys who had bad parents actually should do is if they recognize its their parents way of being that has influenced them and screwed up their way of interacting in relationships they need to put their pride or fear aside and enter therapy or at the very least buy some therapy related books and identify all of their problems from their parents negative influence and do the inner game work at solving them. Then once these problems are overcome (and they can be overcome) they should go after healthy sane women who are healthy mentally and have had decent to great parents because now they are ready to not only give themselves the respect in the relationship that they deserve but also their partner. Going after crazies or emotionally messed up people which bad parents generally produce is counter productive to a DJ's life even if he himself has had bad parents. Again it is up to that DJ to get his emotional life sorted out through self help or professional help or both.

"Each person has their own red flag list and it's not universal. Why should a fat bald 2-3 drink a day guy have a chance with attractive skinny woman. I should have that, they gotta go for fat 2-3 drink women."

Heh heh a fat bald drunk guy who has chances with an attractive skinny woman either has a lot of money or a lot of game.

The way I look at it is DJ's don't player hate we congratulate.

 

[EricInTheHouse]

jeezus... it sounds like finding the "one" is like trying to pick the right kitty from the kitty shelter, lol

Holy freakin christ though... Love and relationships 'has" to be the hardest thing any human goes through..