Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Compliments

TheRagingBull

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
16
Age
27
Let’s talk compliments.

When a compliment comes from a needy position for the girl’s validation it’s definitely a bad thing.

How about when it’s genuine and you just want to share it with the girl? Is there a thing of overdoing it when it comes from a genuine position? (Falling in love after 3 days and smothering her with “genuine” compliments isn’t genuine because your “love” isn’t genuine - it comes from a needy position in the first place).

Do you give too much away with a comment like “****, you’re sexy” on a first date?

How about saying you had a good time or you say you like her before she does?

I say whatever pops up in my mind and girls seem intrigued by the honesty. Especially with things like damn, you’re ****ing sexy. But, I might be portraying less of a challenge than what would be ideal.

Interested on some of your takes about compliments.
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
15,951
Reaction score
4,197
Age
44
Location
midwestern cow field 40
It is kind of circular in that the banning of compliments does reduce afc tendencies, which makes skill grow, and then eventually one outgrows the rigidity of such fundamental rules.
 

TheRagingBull

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
16
Age
27
It is kind of circular in that the banning of compliments does reduce afc tendencies, which makes skill grow, and then eventually one outgrows the rigidity of such fundamental rules.
That makes sense. Can’t say I’m an AFC but can use some less neediness. I’ll give it a go to completely withhold compliments for the first couple of dates. Cheers man
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,839
Reaction score
2,753
Age
39
Location
Canada
Let’s talk compliments.

When a compliment comes from a needy position for the girl’s validation it’s definitely a bad thing.

How about when it’s genuine and you just want to share it with the girl? Is there a thing of overdoing it when it comes from a genuine position? (Falling in love after 3 days and smothering her with “genuine” compliments isn’t genuine because your “love” isn’t genuine - it comes from a needy position in the first place).

Do you give too much away with a comment like “****, you’re sexy” on a first date?

How about saying you had a good time or you say you like her before she does?

I say whatever pops up in my mind and girls seem intrigued by the honesty. Especially with things like damn, you’re ****ing sexy. But, I might be portraying less of a challenge than what would be ideal.

Interested on some of your takes about compliments.
Best use for Compliment is when rewarding good behavioir imo, it should be given sparingly.

Compliment can give a very good insight into your state of mind and kills attraction by killing the uncertainty.
For example telling a women how beautiful she is too often, will make her think that she got you wrap around her finger and decrease attraction.

imo to keep and create attraction unncertainty is needed.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
796
Reaction score
1,032
There's no 'one-size-fits-all' response here. It all depends on the woman and how you say it.

If you are out with a gal that is a little too smug or self-assured,then you say nothing of the sort!

On the other hand, if she usually dresses casual and you can tell that she dressed up on *your* behalf (not due to going out on a clubbing date) ... then yeah, make a subtle positive observation. It's not gong to hurt you at all.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

andreihaha

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2019
Messages
393
Reaction score
286
Age
27
Best use for Compliment is when rewarding good behavioir imo, it should be given sparingly.

Compliment can give a very good insight into your state of mind and kills attraction by killing the uncertainty.
For example telling a women how beautiful she is too often, will make her think that she got you wrap around her finger and decrease attraction.

imo to keep and create attraction unncertainty is needed.
I recently complimented a girl who made me blow 2 loads in a really short period.
That's what I remembered while reading your comment about "rewarding good behaviour".
I think my only other compliment to her was about her beautiful eyes, but that was also while laying in bed with her after an hour or so of trading orgasms.
Both compliments were genuine, while knowing the girl is interested in me.

Wanna know what I achieved by complimenting her at the right time and expecting nothing in return?
I received a lot more orgasms since, and since I complimented her only on her eyes, she actually joined a gym to get in better shape. Pretty weird how the female mind works, huh?
Also, you can compliment a girl without opening your mouth, which is a lot more effective.
 

Prettyboy Dee

Banned
Joined
Jan 6, 2020
Messages
206
Reaction score
270
Age
27
Location
Atlanta, Ga
Compliments are great! When it comes from a high status guy or a very attractive guy, women love that sh!t, I do it all the time, telling girls there cute ect

I know it's very validating for them to hear it from a guy like me so I take advantage of it.

I dont do it constantly or even most of the time, just at random times, the right moments, they will eat it up.....
 

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,193
Reaction score
951
Age
33
I like to give back handed compliments. Like let's say my GF made a nice dinner. I would tell her "Thanks for dinner babe. About time! ~wink~". It drives her nuts but she likes it. It's worked well for me with many women.
 

2Rocky

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
368
Reaction score
277
You reward her in the compliment by relating the compliment to how it benefits you.

"That Lingerie gives me a Rock Hard Johnson"
"I love the way you...(fill in the blank with something specific she does)"
" You are so good at making me feel(fill in the blank) when you (do something specific)"

Make the compliments specific.
"That dress really shows off your toned legs" instead of "you're sexy"

Compliment people that are important to her
"I like the way your hairdresser did the color this time. It really makes the color in your eyes pop."
"That picture your bestie took of you sure shows off that nice smile. Makes me so happy when you smile"

Compliments have to be genuine. And you should say them with out being apologetic. As if it is a god given truth you are stating. And most of all don't EVER compliment something you don't like. Because sure as heck, she will do it/wear it/say it over and over because she thinks you like it
 

samspade

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 5, 2008
Messages
6,546
Reaction score
3,013
Location
Colorado Panhandle
Good advice above.

I was watching this YouTube clip of Johnny Carson interviewing Linda Ronstadt yesterday. I'm a fan of hers and just watched the new documentary about her, and so was looking at some of her clips.

She was kind of a nervous talker, and midway through the interview (7:00) Johnny said, "You've got great eyes." She got even more nervous and giggly. But, you know, he was Johnny freakin' Carson.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,725
Reaction score
5,827
Best use for Compliment is when rewarding good behavioir imo
That is often said on here, and I've never thought of this before: But isn't that kind of related to being nice to someone expecting someone in return? As opposed to just doing something (or giving something) because you genuinely want to, not seeking something in return.

I kind of like @Prettyboy Dee's remark about how giving a compliment must be pretty validating "from a guy like me". That sounds egotistical, but it's coming from a place of giving value.
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,839
Reaction score
2,753
Age
39
Location
Canada
That is often said on here, and I've never thought of this before: But isn't that kind of related to being nice to someone expecting someone in return? As opposed to just doing something (or giving something) because you genuinely want to, not seeking something in return.

I kind of like @Prettyboy Dee's remark about how giving a compliment must be pretty validating "from a guy like me". That sounds egotistical, but it's coming from a place of giving value.
im no expert.
But I agree it got to be genuine, i never give a compliment if its not.. But you can choose when you give the compliment and it seems like i feel like complimenting her more when she made an effort for me. Like cooking me a good lunch, wearing some nice cloth to go out with me etc.
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
2,446
Reaction score
1,917
Location
Southeast USA
Let’s talk compliments.

When a compliment comes from a needy position for the girl’s validation it’s definitely a bad thing.

How about when it’s genuine and you just want to share it with the girl? Is there a thing of overdoing it when it comes from a genuine position? (Falling in love after 3 days and smothering her with “genuine” compliments isn’t genuine because your “love” isn’t genuine - it comes from a needy position in the first place).

Do you give too much away with a comment like “****, you’re sexy” on a first date?

How about saying you had a good time or you say you like her before she does?

I say whatever pops up in my mind and girls seem intrigued by the honesty. Especially with things like damn, you’re ****ing sexy. But, I might be portraying less of a challenge than what would be ideal.

Interested on some of your takes about compliments.
I read Casanova's memoirs, when I was 14. There wasn't a whole lot of pickup literature, back then. One thing that stuck with me was to avoid giving obvious compliments. If a girl is almost perfect, compliment only the imperfection, the thing about which she is most self-conscious. Compliment a beautiful girl on her intelligence, and a nerdy girl on her beauty, but be very specific....about how much the multi-colored flecks of her Iris resemble a fourth of July fireworks display. Always appear just sincere enough to create doubt about your sincerity. Never give a compliment that doesn't generate some degree of doubt about your sincerity....but not too much. Praise, like anything of value, though, should be very rare.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
13,725
Reaction score
5,827
im no expert.
Neither am I. In fact, I still haven't made up my mind about the compliment question. Because of this, for the most part I try to avoid complimenting girls (other than my girlfriend). I think this is a case of where reading a bunch of seduction material has screwed up my head. Sometimes I will experiment with compliment girls, and they seem to enjoy it and appreciate it, so I don't know.

I read Casanova's memoirs, when I was 14. There wasn't a whole lot of pickup literature, back then. One thing that stuck with me was to avoid giving obvious compliments. If a girl is almost perfect, compliment only the imperfection, the thing about which she is most self-conscious. Compliment a beautiful girl on her intelligence, and a nerdy girl on her beauty, but be very specific....about how much the multi-colored flecks of her Iris resembling a fourth of July fireworks display. Always appear just sincere enough to create doubt about your sincerity. Never give a compliment that doesn't generate some degree of doubt about your sincerity....but not too much.
This strikes me as game playing, and I don't mean that in a positive way. You're basically saying compliment her on something you don't really want to compliment her on, or compliment her on something that doesn't really get your attention. And then you say don't sound sincere, which wipes out the whole "be congruous" idea. I know girls should have some doubts about how much you like them, so I'm not saying it wouldn't work. It just strikes me as overly manipulative, as opposed to being genuine.

By the way, I heard this recently, and if I've heard a woman say this once, I've heard it a thousand times. "I'm not really happy with a lot about myself, other than my looks". It appears a lot of women take it as a given that they are good looking (sounds like a lot of guys here lol).
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
2,446
Reaction score
1,917
Location
Southeast USA
Neither am I. In fact, I still haven't made up my mind about the compliment question. Because of this, for the most part I try to avoid complimenting girls (other than my girlfriend). I think this is a case of where reading a bunch of seduction material has screwed up my head. Sometimes I will experiment with compliment girls, and they seem to enjoy it and appreciate it, so I don't know.


This strikes me as game playing, and I don't mean that in a positive way. You're basically saying compliment her on something you don't really want to compliment her on, or compliment her on something that doesn't really get your attention. And then you say don't sound sincere, which wipes out the whole "be congruous" idea. I know girls should have some doubts about how much you like them, so I'm not saying it wouldn't work. It just strikes me as overly manipulative, as opposed to being genuine.

By the way, I heard this recently, and if I've heard a woman say this once, I've heard it a thousand times. "I'm not really happy with a lot about myself, other than my looks". It appears a lot of women take it as a given that they are good looking (sounds like a lot of guys here lol).
I am only relaying Casanova's own advice on the subject. However, I'm not above calculated insincerity.

I'm not saying to sound insincere, but only to leave doubt. Being overly sincere comes off simpy.

Also, complimenting the obvious thing, the same compliment she gets 1,000 times everyday is a pointless compliment, better left unsaid.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

TheRagingBull

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 3, 2020
Messages
23
Reaction score
16
Age
27
As far as I'm reading nobody really agrees on a common thread, except for that the compliments have to be genuine. Apparently, you guys get both results with and without complimenting, giving me the following theory;

It might all depend on who has the most perceived power in the "relationship" between you and the girl.

Let's say you're of super high value and you're on the first date with a girl who shows extremely high IL; she's quite nervous because she's out with such a guy. She can't really believe she's actually out with a guy like you and becomes a bit self-conscious - "I hope I'm good enough for him". Giving a compliment then will most likely put her at ease and she'll love it - and you'll still be of high value. The ball of power is still in your hands.

Now, let's say the girl is of super high value (or perceives herself like that) and is expecting you to put her on a pedestal. She's interested in you, but you still have to show her you're a real man and that you can handle a girl like her. The ball of power is still in her hands and we want to make mold the frame that we become in power. Complimenting in this case... Probably not as strong. You're giving her validation skewing the power more towards her.
 

ShePays

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
2,446
Reaction score
1,917
Location
Southeast USA
As far as I'm reading nobody really agrees on a common thread, except for that the compliments have to be genuine. Apparently, you guys get both results with and without complimenting, giving me the following theory;

It might all depend on who has the most perceived power in the "relationship" between you and the girl.

Let's say you're of super high value and you're on the first date with a girl who shows extremely high IL; she's quite nervous because she's out with such a guy. She can't really believe she's actually out with a guy like you and becomes a bit self-conscious - "I hope I'm good enough for him". Giving a compliment then will most likely put her at ease and she'll love it - and you'll still be of high value. The ball of power is still in your hands.

Now, let's say the girl is of super high value (or perceives herself like that) and is expecting you to put her on a pedestal. She's interested in you, but you still have to show her you're a real man and that you can handle a girl like her. The ball of power is still in her hands and we want to make mold the frame that we become in power. Complimenting in this case... Probably not as strong. You're giving her validation skewing the power more towards her.
Ultimately, she's no different from you, in that a compliment from someone she doesn't value, or about a thing she doesn't value, is of no value to her. If an ugly fat girl swoons over you, telling you how handsome you are, does it mean the same thing to you as a girl you're really into offhandedly telling you how great you look?

I used to tell girls they looked nice, at the beginning of a date, just as a matter of form, but with not more intensity than I would have told my sister she looked nice, before she went on a date. It's approval, not adoration. It conveys, "nice start, let's see where this goes." Validation will be sought in peeking your arousal. If she isn't into you, though, she doesn't really value you opinion, anyway.

I don't think any woman has ever been won over by worshipful praise...unless she's a terribly insecure pushover. A woman of any value won't be won over that way. That's more how a pimp coaxes a chubby 15 year old away from her dysfunctional home.
 

FairShake

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
2,373
Reaction score
223
It depends on where the compliment is coming from and where it lands.

Compliments from a desired, high-value man will hit the right spot and score points while those from needy, low-value man will be brushed off and he will check out. You can compliment too much and too little but the perception of this will usually depend heavily on how she sees you.

When I can tell a woman is into me I tend to compliment them for how they look, a job well done, and general success. If they aren't I treat them like I would anyone else.
 
Top