Complicated Situation

[RandomGai]

I've known a girl for maybe 2-3 years just to say hello but have really gotten to know her over the past 6 months or so. I've always had a thing for her but never made a move because her boyfriend is a friend/acquaintance of mine. With that being said, there were clear signs of interest from her as I got to know her more and I reciprocated these signs as well (even though I never made a move).

About 1.5 months ago her and her boyfriend broke up after a very long relationship (2+ years). She hasn't told me about it and hasn't tried telling me how she feels and so on and so fourth. Her and I have been seeing quite a bit of each other over the past 1.5 months and I am positive there is something there. There is not a doubt in my mind about this.

I still have not said anything to her to give her time to get over her ex and so forth. This weekend her, myself, and a few friends are going away for the weekend and I feel it is the right time to say something. I've thought about what I want to say and have no problem saying it. However, there is one last detail complicating things.

She will be moving soon to start a new job. There is a chance I will get a job there as well, but there is also a chance I will be moving somewhere else. I'm wondering if it's even worth saying anything to her with the looming possibility of us being too far apart to pursue anything.

Basically, I am looking for suggestions as to whether or not I should say anything to her and, if you suggest I should, what do you think I should say.

Thanks.

 

[jophil28]

Never, ever, do what you are thinking of doing.
Never tell a new woman "how you feel' because you believe that it may draw her closer. It won't.

Send her the message through your actions.

 

[jophil28]

dupe.

 

[RandomGai]

Interesting... I have gotten some advice that says differently so your response makes me a bit more confused (because of different opinions, not because you are right or wrong) on the situation.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I've known a girl for maybe 2-3 years just to say hello but have really gotten to know her over the past 6 months or so. I've always had a thing for her but never made a move because her boyfriend is a friend/acquaintance of mine. With that being said, there were clear signs of interest from her as I got to know her more and I reciprocated these signs as well (even though I never made a move).

About 1.5 months ago her and her boyfriend broke up after a very long relationship (2+ years). She hasn't told me about it and hasn't tried telling me how she feels and so on and so fourth. Her and I have been seeing quite a bit of each other over the past 1.5 months and I am positive there is something there. There is not a doubt in my mind about this.

I still have not said anything to her to give her time to get over her ex and so forth. This weekend her, myself, and a few friends are going away for the weekend and I feel it is the right time to say something. I've thought about what I want to say and have no problem saying it. However, there is one last detail complicating things.

She will be moving soon to start a new job. There is a chance I will get a job there as well, but there is also a chance I will be moving somewhere else. I'm wondering if it's even worth saying anything to her with the looming possibility of us being too far apart to pursue anything.

Basically, I am looking for suggestions as to whether or not I should say anything to her and, if you suggest I should, what do you think I should say.

Thanks.

Why SAY when you can DO? Why haven't you kissed her? It there is no doubt, you should at the point where there is physical contact between you two.

Never have a "heart to heart" with a broad you haven't, at minimum, slept with.

Would you rather start something, then figure it out, or never have started something at all. Are you afraid that deep deep, you might be wrong, and she just has LJBF you, all along, so you rather live with the satisfaction that you know she likes you?

 

[hover411]

you must be a really good friend

/sarcasm.

that is pretty messed up if you guys are at all close.

that being said...

telling her your feelings will make you crash and burn.

just be cool and see if she gives signs she wants to hook up.

there is no point in exhausting this much energy and thought if you all are moving away anyways. if you happen to be in the same town, then you can pursue her.

 

[jophil28]

Interesting... I have gotten some advice that says differently so your response makes me a bit more confused (because of different opinions, not because you are right or wrong) on the situation.

Who gave you what advice ?

 

[dude04]

ever heard of "actions speak louder than words."

 

[prairiedog24]

Alright dude... listen up, I'm going to give it to you straight.

Take. These. Guys. Advice. Do not tell her, do something to show it if you want her.

I was in the exact same situation as you last school year. In fact, it's what drove me to this forum. THANK GOD I didn't say anything to her. I was expecting things to build slowly, but as soon as she realized I wasn't going to make a move her interest fizzled big time for awhile. And my girl was showing WAY more interest than yours is, including asking me to move in with her, trying to very subtly talk me into sleeping with her, etc.

Through a very long rebuilding process she's pretty interested in me again, but I won't know if it's in a LJBF way or a BF way until I see her again. Her IL was so high that it mostly survived the incredible damage my AFC behavior was doing to it. Several long months of total separation has helped too. But nothing is ever the same as the first opportunity missed. Remember that.

In the meantime, I've used this forum to think more carefully about how I come across to girls. Unrelated to her I've also spent the summer on a pretty major self-improvement reginem including everything from Argentine Tango to Eating/breathing/sleeping Mark Rippetoe's barbell program.

When I see her again, I'm going to do things right. If it works out, great. If not, I'll be in that much better position to find other fish.

Save yourself the headache, do it right the first time if you really are interested in her.