Complex Girl

[slaog]

I'm chatting to somebody online and she never asks and questions and she doesn't give away much about herself either. She didn't have a pic up when I first started chatting but I was surprised when she showed me her pic. She's a thin, blue eyed blond, HB9.5. She is also very smart and she seems happy with herself but complains about never meeting the right person out.

We were in contact and it fizzled out then she went on a date and she said the guy who dated her wanted sex and she isn't exactly the sort to jump into bed with somebody. They were supposed to meet again but he went on other dates so basically she came back to me (after a month) blaming me for not keeping in contact. I'll suggest meeting up soon...

Why do some girls ask no questions while others want to know what you ate for breakfast??

 

[Nelford]

My homegirl hook me up with a girl like that one time and she didn't say nothing on the date and every time I ask her a question she gave me short answers. I didn't know if she was shy or not interested in me, so I got the check and drop her off. I toss her number as I was pulling off and she had the nerve to ask my homegirl why I didn't call her anymore.

 

[guru1000]

She's a thin, blue eyed blond, HB9.5.

We were in contact and it fizzled out then she went on a date and she said the guy who dated her wanted sex and she isn't exactly the sort to jump into bed with somebody. They were supposed to meet again but he went on other dates so basically she came back to me (after a month) blaming me for not keeping in contact. I'll suggest meeting up soon...

Now if she was an HB6 , would she recieve the same Bolded Presidential Treatment?

Can she SENSE your Prizability by being the "Come Back To" guy?

What is the likelihood to reverse this dynamic if actions speak louder than words?

 

[slaog]

Now if she was an HB6 , would she recieve the same Bolded Presidential Treatment?

Can she SENSE your Prizability by being the "Come Back To" guy?

What is the likelihood to reverse this dynamic if actions speak louder than words?

So what should I do? I was going to mention in a ****y, funny way that she was only chatting to me because her date didn't work out... should I call her on it or just ignore her?

When speaking to her the other night I cut the conversation short and didn't speak with her till very late last night because I wanted to send out the message that she's not everything to me.

I think it fizzled out because I never asked her out.

 

[guru1000]

You are working from a semi-damaged Context.

Call her as you would your guy friend. Treat her like one of the boys. Crack a few jokes and arrange a date.

If she does not comply, move on. Would you repeatedly call your guy friend to hang out?

Knock her off the mental pedestal and you will be fine.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Slaog,
There is a sense in which you are wasting your time with this girl,you are just one of her many admirers,in the early stages of cyber conversation she wouldn't frighten you away by talking about other dates,this other guy may not exist,but she is telling you no way matey you get in my pants....No when they like you the mails come every day any opportunity to progress the relationship is jumped on....The best you can hope for is to be relegated to the friendship dustbin,very few manage to crawl their way out of that Social Siberia....Keep talking by all means but the focus is you,tell her the real or imagined things you have been doing....make yourself interesting....if she is vaguely interested she will say things like....Gee I would like to go dancing at Roxies but you can't go without a Partner....Gosh I would like to go riding round the Lake but on my own No Thanks...leaving openings in which case never invite but suggest you are going anyway she is welcome to tag along..But Slaog see this whole cyber thing as an opportunity to relate to woman...define yourself in words,develop conversation lines,they love stories,joke lines after a while the Re Engineered Cyber-you will take over,you will never be stuck for words or smart ****y comments...and Work on yourself...Always dress snappy,Dance,pump Iron,eat sensibly,read interesting books ...practice your skills on every Bird you meet:the Lady on the Deli Counter,Library assistants,people in the Checkout Queue,ask hot Asian Babes in the Asian Grocery what something in some heathen script means then could I use it in?how would you use it?gotta go give me your numbers that Recipe sounds great....Its a skill like any other..

 

[slaog]

You are working from a semi-damaged Context.

Call her as you would your guy friend. Treat her like one of the boys. Crack a few jokes and arrange a date.

If she does not comply, move on. Would you repeatedly call your guy friend to hang out?

Knock her off the mental pedestal and you will be fine

Yeah that sounds like the best way of going about things. I'm not going to invest too much energy in her (or any othe girl from now on) so she definetly won't be put on any pedestal.

I still have a habit of watching what I say to try and not offend the girl i.e. to say what she wants to hear.

Dear Slaog,
There is a sense in which you are wasting your time with this girl,you are just one of her many admirers,in the early stages of cyber conversation she wouldn't frighten you away by talking about other dates,this other guy may not exist,but she is telling you no way matey you get in my pants..

She can't have too many admirers because she hasn't put her pic up. If she did show alot of people her pic then most would have changed their behaviour towards her because of her good look. I was aware not to do that after I saw her pic a while back.

My homegirl hook me up with a girl like that one time and she didn't say nothing on the date and every time I ask her a question she gave me short answers. I didn't know if she was shy or not interested in me, so I got the check and drop her off. I toss her number as I was pulling off and she had the nerve to ask my homegirl why I didn't call her anymore.

Some think you can mind read! There may have been little interest there and she only became interested when you didn't call or in other words you showed her you didn't need her.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

Why do some girls ask no questions while others want to know what you ate for breakfast??

Women ask questions as indicators of interest. If she's not asking you questions, she already thinks of you as an online chat buddy, and nothing more.

You should see if she'd like to go out, and if not, don't bother with her anymore.

 

[joekerr31]

questions versus non questions, heres the deal....

there are 2 types of people in this world - glass half full and glass half empty types of people.

those who expect the worse and those who hope for the best.

this woman is a glass half empty kind of woman. she approaches men with the attitude of 'well, let's give this guy a shot. he's probably a total jerk like all the others. but we'll see."

as such, she has very little to say and will sit there waiting for you to prove to her that you're not yet another lame, boring loser like all the other men she's dated. (the irony however is that its actually HER attitude that makes guys boring, because they lose interest in her. who wants to date a dead fish?)

whereas a woman who is glass half full would say 'maybe this guy will be the one? I want to get to know everything about him." she will talk your ear off finding out who you are, etc. with the hopes that you'll turn out to be a great guy.

RUN as fast as you can from a woman who doesn't engage you a lot. even if you manage to make a dent in her 'all men suck' attitude, you'll never be able to change her attitude towards life - which is a half glass empty attitude.

look for the woman who are optimistic and still believe that great things can happen in life.

 

[slaog]

questions versus non questions, heres the deal....

there are 2 types of people in this world - glass half full and glass half empty types of people.

those who expect the worse and those who hope for the best.

this woman is a glass half empty kind of woman. she approaches men with the attitude of 'well, let's give this guy a shot. he's probably a total jerk like all the others. but we'll see."

as such, she has very little to say and will sit there waiting for you to prove to her that you're not yet another lame, boring loser like all the other men she's dated. (the irony however is that its actually HER attitude that makes guys boring, because they lose interest in her. who wants to date a dead fish?)

whereas a woman who is glass half full would say 'maybe this guy will be the one? I want to get to know everything about him." she will talk your ear off finding out who you are, etc. with the hopes that you'll turn out to be a great guy.

RUN as fast as you can from a woman who doesn't engage you a lot. even if you manage to make a dent in her 'all men suck' attitude, you'll never be able to change her attitude towards life - which is a half glass empty attitude.

look for the woman who are optimistic and still believe that great things can happen in life.

Thanks I see what you mean. A few months ago I was in contact with a girl online and I'd write a few sentences etc and get only a 1 word answer as a reply. I thought there must be some valid reason for it. Eventually after meeting her I didn't want anything to do with her. She had very little self esteem and once when I asked why wasn't she more enthusiastic about things she said "I don't do enthusiam!"... I tried to give her a few tips on improving things but she didn't respond kindly to that so I said to myself she can f** off.


After that and 1 or 2 other similar people I learned to stay away from the negativity but this girl I'm in contact with now is different. In her pics she's always smiling and it's a big natural smile. She said she was chatty in person and she has a good teaching job and just after getting promoted in that so I don't think she is a glass half empty person generally but as you say maybe with me she is. I'll have to do a bit of detective work and find out about some of her past relationships.

One more interesting things about her is she said she was on hols once and taking a trip in a hourse and cart thing and the man called her hun and she said that she asked the man to stop calling her hun. She said it was condescending but it's just something people say when they're being nice. So there must be some sort of complex there for her to react like that.

Her father must be a massive AFC because she said she watched desperate housewives and she said she got her father into watching it!

She's only a plate now anyway but a plate with potential.