Complaints... lol

[SgtSplacker]

I'm at a point in my life now where i'm just not really pursuing personal development that much at all. Not studying anything, taking a break from the gym. I'm really just trying to get a good relationship with a woman going. I have a good job, I own a condo by the beach, financially stable, and I lost 30 lbs this year. So i'm happy with my life right now I just feel I need to cross this relationship bridge before I focus on other things again. Is this a wrong way to think?

Enter my lady.

Shes a lil chubby so she works out, has a decent job but not a career like mine or even related to her chosen career, still going to school for a nursing degree, renting, and basically financially unstable.

So since she's obviously in a period of personal expansion and i'm not she likes to call me out on not doing as much as she does. Trys to paint the unmotivated guy picture on me. Shes kinda right I am just chilling right now. Shes literally either working, at the gym, or in school.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I feel the same way, she's the one that needs to get the ball rolling not me.

I like the "Time to reflect and figure out my next move." because thats exactly what i'm doing. I'm just debating whether I tell her exactly whats going on or not. Because if I was not as on the fence regarding having her in my life at all I could probably move forward with this.

 

[imarockstar]

SGT,

Your girlfriend is stressed out, and maybe a little jealous. In her defense, its great that shes going to the gym and she acknowledges her weight gain. Encourage her, and join her at the gym, even if you cant go with her, make sure you go too so that she cant accuse you of being lazy.

Your girl has a lot going on. Me and my girl both work parttime and go to school fulltime, fitting eating, showering, going to the gym, relaxing and sleeping in between work and school is beyond difficult. I think you should sit down and talk about what is bothering each other in a calm manner. Its tough, but if you can communicate whats pissing you off, youll feel a lot better. Since you both have different schedules and doing different things in life, you dont fully understand each other. Just dont get mad or show emotion, just be calm, or you'll be the a$$hole.

The first thing you said was that you are not pursuing personal development. You need to change this. Pick up a new hobby. This seems to be your problem, because putting your undivided attention and focus into the relationship plain out sucks.

Im telling you this because this is what I am experiencing right now. I know deep down Im doing all the right things. I go to school, go to the gym, go to work; Im not just a couch potato doing nothing with his life. But I am definately becoming complacent in this relationship. Ive stopped stepping out of my boundaries. Ive become happy with doing my duties and then coming home and watching netflix. You need to mix it up my man. Be unpredictable, do new things wether she joins you or not. It will take your mind off her petty complaints, while at the same time keeping her on her toes and just being happy when you are available to give her your time.

My solution: im picking up a martial arts class in the next couple weeks. I realized that I dont really have a passion, and Ive tried to make the girl my passion. Yet spending too much idle time with your girl and not doing new, exciting things will only cause conflict. You need to give her the gift of missing you, even if its for just a few hours while you go play golf, hunt, or whatever it is you are in to. I know Ive seen the advice on this site a million times, and now it finally makes sense, but you kind of have to pursue the things you would if you were single, and trying these new cool things in order to become attractive and unique to women.

Just make sure she holds up her end of the bargain. Dont let your girl go and get fat! And if she goes to the gym all the time, praise her, dont let it go unnoticed or she may stop caring. And trust me, you are not going to miss out on anything by picking up a new hobby, the new episode of The Walking Dead will be on demand the next day.

 

[metoo]

I worked full time, on my feet on concrete all day, went to school full time, to get GI bill money, for 4 years, to fund my shooting and karate competition days. I'd cast bullets and load ammo all winter, so that I didn't need to use up precious practice time in good weather, just preparing ammo. I had no social life at all, basically, but all that work got me what I wanted in the way of skills and recognition. I wouldn't change that part of my life for anything.

 

[Scaramouche]

dear Splacker,
You have worked Bluddy Hard for what you have....I feel you should not get too emotionally involved with this Girl....You both have a tendancy to run to fat,find a slim plate ...and try to do half an hour of Gym work alternate days....Not to be a fanatic though,there is a difference between wiping your Bvum and tearing lumps out.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Splacker,
You have worked Bluddy Hard for what you have....I feel you should not get too emotionally involved with this Girl....You both have a tendancy to run to fat,find a slim plate ...and try to do half an hour of Gym work alternate days....Not to be a fanatic though,there is a difference between wiping your Bvum and tearing lumps out.

 

[Warrior74]

She wants you to do better so she doesn't have to. Not saying that I can blame her, but it's a woman's way to demand security. The question is, what are you demanding.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'm thinking I need out of this one... SMH

Happy people are generally always happy people.

Complainers are generally always complainers.

Negative people will always think negatively.

This ones a complainer, if it's not this stuff it will be other stuff.

No room for a drama queen in my life... I just ended it today for like the 20th time. Well see if I can make it stick this time.