"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Competitive Swimming

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Don Juan
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I am highly interested in this sport. I love swimming; I love the beach; I love water-sports; I love diving.... and all of these activities require a strong grasp of swimming to enjoy oneself.

I am going to try out for the swim team, as well. I love this sort of stuff.

But, how do I go about improving my performance in the pool? My technique is weak, and all I really know is the free style stroke; I cannot do the butterfly, or anything else. Yet, ironically, my free style stroke is very flawed.

I need a lot of work.

1. Please, help me out; what can I do?

2. Also, what can I do at the gym, to further improve my performance in the pool?

[edit] I'm not that bad, either; I have natural athletic abilities in this sport, however, I do have much to work on. Please, help me out; give me some pointers to get me on my way.
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I'll answer both questions.

1) Make sure to learn all the strokes. Most swim teams/programs require the completion of 100m in each stroke. It's not timed, but you have to finish it, so you should make sure that you can, at least adequately, swim in every stroke. They're hard to explain over the Internet, but easy to demonstrate in person. The one you WILL have trouble with is the butterfly, so I suggest you start learning that as early as possible so you have time to immerse yourself. Also, make sure you practice slowly, and make sure you have no wasted motion. What makes great swimmers great isn't that they're strong, but that every ounce of energy they expend drives them forward. It's really important that you learn to swim straight and not waste energy. It's hard at first, so I suggest getting some goggles so you can orient yourself underwater.

So, find someone to show you the strokes, then follow them carefully.

Let's talk about your freestyle too:
-The #1 things people do wrong is their kicking, and the way the move their arms out of the water. The best way to kick is from the thighs, because they are biggest muscles. Therefore, your knees should not be moving (you leg should be pretty much straight), and your thighs should kick the ENTIRE leg and drive you forward. The major grip with the arms is that people drag them in the overhead motion. Think about it this way: the only purpose of even bringing your arm out of the water is to bring it forward again to pull back. So find whatever makes that as effortless as possible! The best thing to do is to pull your elbow out first. Once your elbow sticks out of the water, you fling the rest out your arm out. You'll find that it's much easier that way!

Do plenty of practice, slowly at first to get the motions of all the new strokes, and you'll do fine!

2) To be honest, there's nothing in swimming that requires any particularly strong muscles. Almost all of it is technique, and unless you're prepping for the Olympics, your strength will seldom be more important than your skill and fluidity. What you can do that will help is replace any other cardio workouts (jogging, boxing, martial arts, w/e you do that's cardio) with swimming. It helps you burn fat and hones your swimming skills at the same time.

I hope this helped!
 

seanchai

Master Don Juan
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You need someone to watch you swim and help you out with your strokes. Do you know anyone who can do that? Maybe get some private lessons at your local swim club.

Otherwise, do front crawl. A lot of it. Build up your "feel for the water" that is so important in swimming. When you feel fluid doing front crawl you'll be more streamlined while swimming the other strokes and it'll all come easier.
 
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