Hi guys. So I've moved on beyond my one itis and it'd been great. However, I'm still in college and at parties there are still guys that are just so good looking that I feel like I'm fighting a mountain. I've been working on myself to be social, but these asshoz literally put in no effort and get girls. What should I do?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Competition questions
- Thread starter MoMoney96
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
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Work on your inner and outer game. Are you fit? If not go to the gym. Work on these and the girls will come.
1. If your goal in going to the party is to pull women, don't bother.
2. If you see a girl you like, look her in the eye as you shake her hand and introduce yourself. Make strong eye contact. Only stay engaged as long as the convo feels natural. Don't be afraid to excuse yourself--and don't over commit to one prospect too early.
3. Work on maintaining a natural state--you don't have to try and compete head to head with the 'life of the party.' But have an aura--hell, depending on how I feel, I'll post up in a corner and do the whole brooding James Dean thing.
4. Isolate. Work the chaotic, unpredictable elements of a party to your advantage--"Bit crazy in here."--your hand on her arm--"Let's go outside for a minute." Make your own opportunities.
5. Be bold. If a girl is into you, she'll follow your lead. You just have to do the leading and give her the opportunity in a socially savvy way. Some girls won't be down--chances are they'll be polite about it. And if you're not weird about things, she might reopen you later.
Basically, it seems to me that you feel a bit entitled. Good looking dudes who pull are azzholes? That's pathetic. I don't know what school you go to, but 4/5 of those girls are going home alone. Real talk. You can screw up all night and still pull when everybody's leaving. Work on your mind set. Me? I don't compete with other dudes for women. Ever. I show up, talk to who I want to, have fun on my own terms (which might mean standing in a corner sipping my drink), make moves when I want to. If a girl I'm interested in goes home with another guy, good for them.
2. If you see a girl you like, look her in the eye as you shake her hand and introduce yourself. Make strong eye contact. Only stay engaged as long as the convo feels natural. Don't be afraid to excuse yourself--and don't over commit to one prospect too early.
3. Work on maintaining a natural state--you don't have to try and compete head to head with the 'life of the party.' But have an aura--hell, depending on how I feel, I'll post up in a corner and do the whole brooding James Dean thing.
4. Isolate. Work the chaotic, unpredictable elements of a party to your advantage--"Bit crazy in here."--your hand on her arm--"Let's go outside for a minute." Make your own opportunities.
5. Be bold. If a girl is into you, she'll follow your lead. You just have to do the leading and give her the opportunity in a socially savvy way. Some girls won't be down--chances are they'll be polite about it. And if you're not weird about things, she might reopen you later.
Basically, it seems to me that you feel a bit entitled. Good looking dudes who pull are azzholes? That's pathetic. I don't know what school you go to, but 4/5 of those girls are going home alone. Real talk. You can screw up all night and still pull when everybody's leaving. Work on your mind set. Me? I don't compete with other dudes for women. Ever. I show up, talk to who I want to, have fun on my own terms (which might mean standing in a corner sipping my drink), make moves when I want to. If a girl I'm interested in goes home with another guy, good for them.
Sorry, I wasn't trying to sound entitled. I have been working on my inner game and outer game. Even so, it's pretty annoying when your talking to someone and things are going good when another guy who literally puts in no effort and takes your target. The worst thing is that she then acts like you don't exist once she starts talking to the really good looking guy. It's not the first time either so that's why I called them azzes.
Yes, I am working out in the gym as well so I have become bigger through clean bulking. But it's still a challenge with the pretty boys.
Yes, I am working out in the gym as well so I have become bigger through clean bulking. But it's still a challenge with the pretty boys.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Turning every other guy into a joke is a key part of my approach with women.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Tenacity
Banned
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There is NO competition other than yourself when it comes to dating/relationships.
In terms of comparing yourself to other guys, you will never be the most attractive, or have the most money, or have the best car, or the best abs, etc. No matter how GOOD you are currently or GOOD you will be, there will always be a guy out there better than you.
The issue you have is that the women you are talking to are low quality attention wh.0res. If you are speaking with a chick and she all of a sudden stops talking to you to entertain another guy, the bytch is a low quality attention wh.ore and sometimes will do this just to try to see if you guys would FIGHT over her mediocre a.ss.
I personally think clubs and parties are the worse place to pick up chicks, because the chicks in attendance are mostly just there to seek attention. I would go to these clubs and parties, leave with a STACK of numbers, and not one damn chick would even remember who the hell I was the next day or even 15 minutes AFTER the damn party was over. Most chicks go to these places just to seek attention.
You need to pick up chicks in areas where they are more solo, rather than in a group. So that's online dating, social media, a business networking event, the grocery store, the library, Arby's, the gas station, the mall (when they are alone), a family function, a church function, the gym, etc.
When you go to clubs and parties, I would NOT go in there to pick up chicks. I would go in there for the same reason they are, and that's to seek attention only. Go in there and flash off your latest outfit, expensive jewelry, your chromed out car parked in front of the party or club, etc.
In terms of comparing yourself to other guys, you will never be the most attractive, or have the most money, or have the best car, or the best abs, etc. No matter how GOOD you are currently or GOOD you will be, there will always be a guy out there better than you.
The issue you have is that the women you are talking to are low quality attention wh.0res. If you are speaking with a chick and she all of a sudden stops talking to you to entertain another guy, the bytch is a low quality attention wh.ore and sometimes will do this just to try to see if you guys would FIGHT over her mediocre a.ss.
I personally think clubs and parties are the worse place to pick up chicks, because the chicks in attendance are mostly just there to seek attention. I would go to these clubs and parties, leave with a STACK of numbers, and not one damn chick would even remember who the hell I was the next day or even 15 minutes AFTER the damn party was over. Most chicks go to these places just to seek attention.
You need to pick up chicks in areas where they are more solo, rather than in a group. So that's online dating, social media, a business networking event, the grocery store, the library, Arby's, the gas station, the mall (when they are alone), a family function, a church function, the gym, etc.
When you go to clubs and parties, I would NOT go in there to pick up chicks. I would go in there for the same reason they are, and that's to seek attention only. Go in there and flash off your latest outfit, expensive jewelry, your chromed out car parked in front of the party or club, etc.