"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Competing against competition
- Thread starter Bossman90
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Boilermaker
Master Don Juan
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The second one has only to do with yourself, the first one has nothing to do with yourself.
You choose.
Boilermaker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2010
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1) Have a good career. Be among the top 0.001 percent in what you do.
2) Be healthy and fit.
3) Be patient, gracious, and generous.
4) Have passions outside of your work.
If you follow up with a "How do you do all that" we can start brainstorming on those.
Number 1: Any job that you make 35k or more with a year, and you don't live in NY where rent is insanely expensive, will get you laid by high caliber chicks if everything else in your life is set and you aren't just throwing money away all the time. You just stay aloof about your job.Boilermaker said:
Number 1, Subsection A: Just stay aloof in general. Never appear too interested, never give a lot of details unless it's really, truly interesting and just off-hand.
Number 2: Lift weights 4 times a week. Cardio for 30 minutes 2-3 times a week. Keep 70% of your meals very healthy, 20% moderately healthy (chicken quesadillas fill this niche, along with some other sort of okay foods), 10% just do whatever you want. If you eat tons of protein, you're good to go for the most part. Since nothing with tons of protein will make you fat and it will help you build muscle.
Number 2, Subsection A: Dress nice M FER! No one wants your graphic T. Button downs and V neck (But dude only if you have the body/chest/shoulders for it please). Where some nice shoes. Not running shoes... sneakers are okay if they are classic. Pants should be slim fitting and really make you look TALL. Even if you aren't. 5'6" dudes can get laid if everything here on this list is accounted for.
Number 3: Be patient, don't lose your cool. Small things shouldn't bother you. Don't get pissed if the dumb drunk chick is slowing down your party. Be gracious. Pick her up, dust her off, help her into the passenger seat, etc. Generous goes without saying. I'll buy a girl a drink for no reason if it appears she's having a bad night. I walk away, barely saying much except, "Are you alright?". I never, EVER plan to see those chicks again in my life. But 60% of the time, they follow up and find me in the club. Which really is not the reason I do it. I just feel bad for women in distress.
Number 4: HUGE. Read Books. Skydive. Raft. Hike. Hang out with everyone and everyone. BE INTERESTING!!! TRAVEL! WRITE A SONNET!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.