Compatibility or attraction? Struggling

[tryst type]

Hi guys, quick overview. I've been dating someone coming up on 6 months and she's great. For the longest time I'd only come across women who were really only good for sex, which made me grow tired and then this one came along.

We can actually have intelligent conversations, hang out, enjoy outdoor activities together etc.

My struggle though is she's not 100% my type physically. I'm still attracted to her but I often will see other girls and fantasize about them being my gf and "perfect" based on looks alone. Of course that's a fantasy because most likely their personalities would have flaws in regards to what I look for.

My question, is this normal to ponder about? Is compatibility in the end what it's all about or are we programmed to find the hottest girl and go off looks which is conflicting my judgement?

 

[Desdinova]

It's perfectly normal. My current GF treats me great, but I've certainly been with hotter women, and I continue to look at hotter ones. Getting everything you want in one package is damn near impossible.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Yes, its absolutely normal. IDC who you are and who your with. After a while your going to look at other chicks. Your going to want the "newer model". Same thing with cars. You don't want to drive the same car for the rest of your life. Your going to want to drive it and eventually get another model.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Hi guys, quick overview. I've been dating someone coming up on 6 months and she's great. For the longest time I'd only come across women who were really only good for sex, which made me grow tired and then this one came along.

We can actually have intelligent conversations, hang out, enjoy outdoor activities together etc.

My struggle though is she's not 100% my type physically. I'm still attracted to her but I often will see other girls and fantasize about them being my gf and "perfect" based on looks alone. Of course that's a fantasy because most likely their personalities would have flaws in regards to what I look for.

My question, is this normal to ponder about? Is compatibility in the end what it's all about or are we programmed to find the hottest girl and go off looks which is conflicting my judgement?

At least you know that going by physical image alone has not worked out for you.

What about can she tighten herself up to the point where it more fits your physical image preference and you get the benefit of a descent woman and good personality on top of it?

 

[Ronaldo7]

Welcome to the struggle.

I have a great girlfriend. She treats me 100 times better than i treat her. She cooks for me, she gives me everything i ask for and never asks for anything back.

We have great sex and i am very attracted to her.

However, i find myself constantly looking at other girls. It's about wanting the newer model and driving the car you haven't had a chance to.

Some may give better head than others, some may have a better body, a better face, a much-needed connection to a greater place.

Even though my girlfriend is going to get her boobs done, which will eliminate her greatest flaw, i know the constant adrenaline of spinning plates and notching more stripes will be too great to pass up.

It feels that each woman you conquer is the same as each territory Alexander the Great conquered. Ultimately, his empire clamored for his uncanny ability to unify. The same can be said for women, who will long for their unification with the man who gets their panties wet.

 

[tryst type]

Yeah maybe it's the wanting what you don't have or the fact that she's great in areas I'm not used to encountering that it makes it seem like it could be easily attained now that I have it. Ultimately comes down to wanting the new physical qualities of women walking down the street

 

[Ronaldo7]

Yeah maybe it's the wanting what you don't have or the fact that she's great in areas I'm not used to encountering that it makes it seem like it could be easily attained now that I have it. Ultimately comes down to wanting the new physical qualities of women walking down the street

I'm in the same boat as you encounter yourself in.

My girlfriend will make a great mother if i wanted to establish a family with her, but i'm 21 and she is 28. I have masses of women waiting for me to grace their lives.

And yes, an attractive woman walking down the street is fresh produce you'll definitely want in your arsenal.

 

[Sprayarc]

Everyone always wants what they can't/don't have.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Everyone always wants what they can't/don't have.

Not all of us. People like me like what we CAN have and don't waste time on things that will not likely be reality.
We can always work our way up in life. Things aren't set in stone.

 

[Sprayarc]

Not all of us. People like me like what we CAN have and don't waste time on things that will not likely be reality.
We can always work our way up in life. Things aren't set in stone.

You can desire something you can't have and not waste effort on attaining it. That doesn't mean you want everything you can't have. Sure you can learn to be content.

 

[tryst type]

I think also what caused the attraction to seem higher for other women is it's easier to see them as "sex objects" in the sense that I don't know them personally.

Where as with my gf there's an emotional connection and that makes it harder to fully let loose sexually. Does that make sense?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You can desire something you can't have and not waste effort on attaining it. That doesn't mean you want everything you can't have. Sure you can learn to be content.

This site likes to rank females by visual appeal alone. What if what you "need" is a female 1 or 2 pts on attraction LOWER than the "hot" chick. What if what you "need" actually brings something to the table and isn't in your pockets. What if she's even better in bed because she's not as arrogant or egotistical? So what if even though it doesn't "look" better it makes you feel better?

Kinda like avoiding a car model that's super, but is known to have several reliability issues and the cost of maintenance is sky high.

 

[Sprayarc]

This site likes to rank females by visual appeal alone. What if what you "need" is a female 1 or 2 pts on attraction LOWER than the "hot" chick. What if what you "need" actually brings something to the table and isn't in your pockets. What if she's even better in bed because she's not as arrogant or egotistical? So what if even though it doesn't "look" better it makes you feel better?

Kinda like avoiding a car model that's super, but is known to have several reliability issues and the cost of maintenance is sky high.

Haha then that means they're not young end retarded anymore.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Haha then that means they're not young end retarded anymore.

LOL. Your right...

 

[SAYNO]

Yea, but you never answered the op's question. What "physically" about your girlfriend could stand improvement?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yea, but you never answered the op's question. What "physically" about your girlfriend could stand improvement?

I wanted to hear the answer to this myself.