Communication: When women talk too much.

[5string]

I have found over the years that women cannot keep quiet. Generally about their past such as family life, sexual adventures, other activities and whatnot. It's only a matter of time before they present you with enough pieces of the puzzle to put it together to the point where you can tell what the puzzle reflects about them.

So what do you do? Are these things that you wish to know? Things that you do not?

For example, she tells you her sister was really a nice person or, her sister has a torrid past and many bad things happened, sometimes of her own making. Do these things tell you things about this girl? Of course they do. Maybe she tells you details of her past sexual history. Do you want to know? Most would say no. Those kinds of things can rattle around in your head.

So, depending on what she relates to you, you have choices:
1) Listen and analyze it
2) Tell her it's a subject to which you do not wish to discuss
3) Tell her you don't want to hear it
4) Ignore it
5) Actually discuss the subject if you feel it is worthwhile

My advice, take what a woman tells you and begin putting the pieces together until you have enough information from which to evaluate her qualities. If there is something she brings up, and you don't want to go there, you'd better tell her straight up and right way. Get it done.

Then there is this...if she asks you something about yourself that you do not wish to discuss or reveal, don't tell her. It's as simple as that. Further, we all need to be careful about what we tell women. The information we give them about us let's them put together a puzzle of their own!

Some information should be shared. Some should not. Keep the mystery in your relationships. It's healthy and keeps you in control.

 

[Kailex]

Another reason why no guy should ever propose to a woman before the year mark. You'll never have enough pieces to the puzzle by then. Everytime I hear about a guy who proposes to a girl after just 4 months, drives me nuts. And it's because you are in the honeymoon phase. To be honest, this phase can last up to a year-year and a half.

Amazing how we can go a long time without asking them questions or even caring about the answers, so they'll give us the answers eventually anyway.

What I've come to learn the hard way is that most women will respect you even more if you don't give them the answer to every question right away and... a lot of times, when you stop them from spilling out some things you could hardly care about.

It's never a problem when women talk too much, because ANYTHING they say can be used as vital pieces of information. It's our version of sh!t tests without even throwing it at them.

In the first few months, you won't learn some of those dark secrets or some of those bad habits she has. You need a good amount of time for them to feel comfortable enough.

That's why you get a lot of posters here talking about how "perfect" she is. The pedestal is a time bomb waiting to happen and more times than not, it's one that explodes in the man's face. This is why it's important not to pedestalize, because once the ugly truth starts to rear it's ugly head, you start wondering: Who is this?

Therefore, I never have a problem when women talk too much, it's intelligence in my favor. My problem is when men talk too much.

 

[5string]

Kailex....I figured I'd see something on this from you and I agree. My point is that they all, at some point, reveal info or their little secrets to you bit by bit. Just a matter of time. If you can use it to evaluate their quality, do so. If you don't want to hear it, tell em. And you are right on, guys are guilty of doing the exact same thing. We should all know that we should not talk too much about ourselves to women. Mystery maintains a high interest level.

 

[Colossus]

Agreed. This is Man 101.

I actually had a lengthy discussion about this with my dad a while back. It's kind of a catch-22 when you think about it, because ignorance really can be bliss.

Put it this way: Would you want to know if your girl had been railed by 3 dudes before? Or what if she slept with 20 guys in college? Now some might say you could ascertain this type of past just by listening and analyzing...and in some cases yes...but for most girls this wouldnt exactly be a point of pride and they would keep that to themselves. So the question is, are you better for knowing it or not knowing it?

Personally I would want to know about such past sluttiness because it would affect my opinion of her and I do think it has some predictive value; but on the other hand I dont engage in conversations about past sexual encounters so it's not likely I would ever find out. That's the rub with dont ask/dont tell.

The conclusion I've come to is that at the end of the day you have to make your OWN judgment of her character through time and plain old getting to know somebody. If or when you discover something unsettling you then have to make a judgment call, keeping in mind you're probably not a saint yourself. I guess it comes down what you are willing to accept. One man's slvt can be another man's queen. It sucks to think about but it's a reality we all have to accept.

 

[SoldMySoul]

As the old adage goes: You learn more by listening than you do by talking. Eventually, if you are dating a "rattle box; motor mouth; mouth of the south" she will tell you all you need to know without you asking. Diarrhea of the mouth gets folks into trouble.

Last date I went on was a month ago and the woman would not shut up!!! She talked about her ex husband way too much.. she had been married and divorced three times and I could see the mental and physical baggage she was carrying. She was a teacher and was too overt about defending her job complaining about people that bash teachers, blah, blah. Her main point worth defending was when folks talk about all the off time teachers have. Which they do and get paid a decent salary in some locales.