"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Communicating Three Seperate Values At Once

I'm Charming

Don Juan
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All this DJ stuff has left me feeling mildly schizophrenic, after a bad party last night I was left with the impression that I had three personalities - all of which were simultaneously being communicated to the people around me at once.

Initially I had my AFC qualities - quite, reserved and to be honest a bit sexually frustrated. I tend not to speak a lot because of how my voice, or the tone of it, comes across, I don't understand but people are always unsure of what I'm communicating - I think I come across very aggressively even when I don't intend to be.

Later on I had my Jerk qualities - in the face of overwhelming neghits from the people around me - male and female included, I took an awful awful lot of bashing, people seem determined to smash my remaining confidence into the ground, this just turns me into an *******, the moment I'm accosted even when I'm trying to be happy and just have fun with people I generally turn into an assh*le, I constantly neg people and just act generally aggressive, usually by this point I'm being constantly undermined.

Throughout the whole evening I had my DJ mindset, the piece of logic in the back of my mind telling my worse qualities to shut the f*ck up and telling me to keep my head up, look relaxed and persevere. It dissolved in the force of overwhelming amounts of alcohol, by the end of the night I just felt totally vulnerable, totally un-DJ.

I'm struggling SoSuave, I really f*cking am, when I meet new people I try to communicate strength and confidence but usually its transparent, within a few weeks of people knowing me I find myself dissolving into some stupid heirachy where I'm situated somewhere at the bottom.

A lot of huge general questions, but;

1. How can I communicate successfully with people on a regular basis. I'm too quiet and reserved, how can I make what I'm saying less awkward?

2. How can I communicate value when I'm just a skinny, spotty teen that seems to be undermined constantly?

3. How should I react to people being assh*les towards me?

Thanks for your patience and help folks in advance folks.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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In Motion

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I'm Charming said:
1. How can I communicate successfully with people on a regular basis. I'm too quiet and reserved, how can I make what I'm saying less awkward?

2. How can I communicate value when I'm just a skinny, spotty teen that seems to be undermined constantly?

3. How should I react to people being assh*les towards me?

Thanks for your patience and help folks in advance folks.
1: http://www.kinowear.com/blog/vocal-projection/
read this and follow the steps. Become comfortable with yourself and your voice.

2:Its about confidence baby. Confidence is the key word.
http://www.kinowear.com/blog/building-an-attractive-personality/#more-101
How to build an attractive personality


3: Laugh it of man, be the AMOG.

In response to you having "multiple personalities", read this:
http://www.kinowear.com/blog/taking-off-the-false-mask/#more-104
 

I'm Charming

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In Motion said:
1: http://www.kinowear.com/blog/vocal-projection/
read this and follow the steps. Become comfortable with yourself and your voice.

2:Its about confidence baby. Confidence is the key word.
http://www.kinowear.com/blog/building-an-attractive-personality/#more-101
How to build an attractive personality


3: Laugh it of man, be the AMOG.

In response to you having "multiple personalities", read this:
http://www.kinowear.com/blog/taking-off-the-false-mask/#more-104
Thanks, but I should clarify, I have no problems with the tone or loudness of my voice - I'm very deep and pretty loud, this really isn't the problem, it's the way that I say things that puts people off.

Edit: Also, Third Link is great, thank you.
 
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