"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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communicating in business/dealing with women

Heretolearn

Master Don Juan
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Hey,

I am going through a questioning stage/development area relating to better business communication and just had a epiphany regarding being masculine and dealing with women.


I work in a professional environment with most from backgrounds of accountancy/engineering. The keys to business communication are:

- be fact based
- straight to the point
- dont give anyone anything to think about
- tell them what they 'need' to know

This is the area I struggle with considerably and want to either improve or just accept a career change

I am a story guy. A personality. I see black/white/grey and a million shades in between. I have a legal background but have always been like this. My answer for most questions - it depends on ... more info required. It helps with social skills/entertaining but can put people off/take too long to get to the point/confuse.


Any tips here as relates to business?

* I am presenting to my CEO and other senior managers this week. I get great feedback on my presentation skills as far as being engaging/knowing my subject matter. The points to improve is that I can basically not meet the key points I mention above.

Eg. How much does it cost?

business mind answer- 50m *simple no guesswork/black/white
me - it links to a pricing model with significant variance from 11million to 150million. Based on all assumptions we have made, we forecast 50million **leaves questions like why the variance, what assumptions - does not instil confidence



Thoughts/experiences/suggestions?


Now the tie in with girls. Is there one? I find the typical masculine guy friends I have are good with women. They are seen as the strong silent type as they dont talk much, just get to it so to speak. This trait also works well in business. (not saying the same guys are or would do well as its a myriad of factors, but just that one factor)

Make sense?

thanks
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Colossus

Master Don Juan
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I'm in the medical world, and in terms of professional communication you need to be thorough without being verbose, data-oriented, and have a clear evidence-based rationale for why you want to do something. I dont have a problem with this communication style as I'm generally a pretty straightforward, matter-of-fact guy.

When it comes to social stuff, however, I always wished I was a better storyteller. It seems to me people in general respond better to the engaging types. I dont think being a strong, silent type has any particular advantages with attracting women---in my experience anyway. They like to be entertained, engaged. Unless you are ridiculously good-looking I dont think the stoicism plays well.
 

sodbuster

Master Don Juan
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Just say, on the assumptions we have made: 50 million. IF they are worth their salt, they will want to know what those assumptions ARE. THEN you can go into the complex details.[shows you HAVE thought it through] Your bosses will be thinking at a different level/different game than you are,so you don't KNOW what they will think is important. Is the 50 million important to a billion dollar sales company if they NEED to have it? Is the timeline important for another project/department? etc. Have a written report if necessary that includes all variables.

AS a BOSS, I don't want to do YOUR job. I want you to think and come up with your best possible answer.When my receptionist has a 15 min conversation with a patient,I don't want to hear the whole 15 minutes. IF she gives me more than a minute for what she said and did....I may as well answered the damn thing myself. IF I want some clarification, I'll ask for it.

IF I don't trust your abilities, you wouldn't be working for me
 
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