Common Sence Game 101: Positive reframing.

[Luke Skywalker]

Just seen that picture and it surprised me

I know. Luke thinks he's fat, too, which is ridiculous. He and Wutang remind me of each other - normal looking guys with a complex about their looks.

I never said anywhere that I think I'm fat. I've lost some weight due to health concerns when I read something that obese people had a high chance of getting cancer - I freaked out and decided to take my weight seriously as an investment to reduce the risk of getting cancer -- nothing to do with any improvement of looks for women and was under a completely different 'rationality system' than the system dealing with women.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I never said anywhere that I think I'm fat.

You bought a weight-loss system, close enough.

Advertising works well at first, then you tend to saturate your market. After all of the same people have already seen your ads, it stops working as well.

I've been a mortgage broker, not a Realtor, but I have a decent understanding of the business. You are limited only by the number of people you can talk to in a day and more likely your own ego at facing rejection. If you spend every spare hour simply knocking on doors, giving out cards, and making contacts - you will make a lot of money. Obviously, that is not easy to do. I have sold $1500 vacuum cleaners door-to-door, I understand "not easy." But 'not easy' is not the same as impossible. If you want it badly enough, you can make it happen. I sold 14 of those $1500 vacuum cleaners my first month, and was in the top 2% of my 7-state division. I am not a brutal closer, either, I had to work about 70 hours a week to do it. My point with this story is that I feel your pain - work harder and you will do well.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I never said anywhere that I think I'm fat.

You bought a weight-loss system, close enough.

I understand what you are saying about the Real-Estate thing, but I'm still thinking of doing the Buffini Hundred day's to greatness as it's a proven system that appears to work with everyone who totally applies it's concepts minus the hassle of door knocking. You just contact people strategically and try to get referrals. Simple.

Now, to the other point about self-esteem and my own looks. The premise of going on that program had nothing about trying to look more attractive to get more women, that's the point I'm making. Certain things I do may be premised on that - but this one was not one of them. So even if I think I'm fat, doesn't mean I think I'm seeing myself as ugly or using that as an excuse somewhere in the equation. Believe it or not, some things I do are actually premised on having better health as an end result.

In fact, when it comes to looks, I'm black right? Well, sometimes I feel in some cases I do not meet a girl's preference, especially in the past when I had a particular fetish for Indian background girls, but felt their preference was either their own race or a tall white guy and thus I was at a disadvantage. However, of course, I'm over that and don't really have a hang-up on looks unless I see a more handsome guy having a fun communication with a girl I want to talk to, but that's another story. I know I'm not a ripped muscular stud (that would probably help), but I don't look ugly either.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you want health, you need activity. There has got to be some activity out there that you enjoy. If you are not going to get a second job and work at night, then go find a club that is centered around an activity and get some exercise while you meet new people at the same time. I recommend martial arts and fighting sports to everyone. The 20-minute warmup for my jiu-jitsu class is more than most people do for cardio by itself, then that is followed by another hour of intense activity. New people often puke after or during their first class, even guys who consider themselves in-shape, like junior college wrestlers. I have read that mma fighters are supposed to be the most highly-conditioned athletes on the planet. My point is that I understand health and fitness, and it does not come in the mail for $99.95

I know the fighting thing shocks and appalls you, jiu-jitsu is not for everyone. Maybe you should take taekwondo, break some boards and make scary noises. You'd get in shape, meet at least a few girls, gain confidence, and if anyone ever messed with you, deliver a brutal and well-trained kick to the nuts.

If you won't do that, then at least go and do something - join the badminton club if it will get you out of the house. Activity is the key. That will help you a lot.

 

[guru1000]

Well, obviously I'm also panicking, but it has not produced any results, but at least there is no potential for actual damage.

Again, I've seen my dad's lot where he spent up money, is left broke and doesn't know what he's doing and asking for money to pay bills, and there are many cases of forclosures, power of sales and evictions, or people who reposses cars for non-payment of leases, what happened in those cases, I'm sure when they took it out they believed they could pay for the bills. Therefore, if what you were saying was true, there would be no evictions, foreclosures, power of sales, because everyone would be panicking right to ensure that didn't happen? How come that happens?

So you really have to examine if you can afford to carry something, and if you have the confidence that you have a system in place for RELIABLE income to which you can base a budget, then you have the economic stability you need to deal with other aspects in your life.

Now I don't have a reliable system of income because advertising appears to go in waves of lucky strokes or it goes with extreme famines. I'm trying to proceed with a system that is promising for a more reliable income and hopefully help jump start things without having to pay advertisment overhead.

How can you realistically panic? Worse case scenario, your present living situation remains the same. Make sense?

Foreclosures happen because,

- Banks approved stated income and no doc programs for homeowners who could not initially afford (fixed incomes) their mortgage

- Homeowners with 2/1, 5/1, 7/1 adjustable mortgages have adjusted up significantly and due to the mortgage crisis, they cannot get refinanced into a low fixed rate. Their inability to handle their new mortgage payment at a much higher interest rate (ie- 10-12%) after 120 days leads to foreclosures

- Poor money management on fixed incomes. Foreclosure bailouts on FULL DOCUMENTATIONS only with a 50% "Debt to Income" ratio and 65% "Loan to Value" makes it virtually impossible to avoid an auction sale.

In regards to the other dead beats with evictions and repossessions; these are people with fixed income jobs that have poor money management skills. They do not know how to balance the spending with their fixed income every month, thus Bad Credit.

Your situation is completely different. You are in SALES. This means one month you can make 100K and the next 0. Your sales ability is directly INFLUENCED by how much you MUST make that month. In other words, if your overhead was 50K a month, your production would be much greater (without set paradigms) than if you have a 5K/month overhead.

Do not misconstrue my advice as to be a poor money manager. Rather, extend your monthly expenditure a little to move out of your parents. Your need of production to survive WILL be met with harder work ethic and conviction.

Inevitably it is your CONVICTION and belief in your ability that causes a SALE. Enhance your conviction with an overhead that MUST be met.

If you choose NOT to take my advice, that is fine. I have been in sales since the age of 18, and have made many multi-million dollar producers in two separate industries. I speak to you out of sales experience.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Guru1000,

I have overhead expenses as follows:

- Remax fees - $ 300 a month.
- Advertisers -- not paid yet. $ 1800 owing. Upset from bad ad calls.
- Taxes -- not paid, but AT LEAST $ 3000.
- Car -- gas and insurance -- at least a few hundred a month on that.

But if there is a grain of truth to what you said, then what will happen is I'll run low on fuel (i.e. money) to the point the above operating expenses are in jeapordy as I continue running around and being unable to close sales due to a fundamental lack of conviction, as you put it, and then when the account is low enough, maybe I may start making lots of sales. Usually I make a sale before the account hits rock bottom. The last stroke of luck occured before the account at that time was dangerously low and I would out of business within a month or two if I didn't make sales. I started making deals left right and centre the following months. However, I still see that as unstable.

However, I want to travel around the world -- I have a conviction to do that -- if I make lots and lots of deals, I intend to do stuff like that. Based on what you are saying, I should start booking travel vacations with my current money, and when I get back I should be making deals. But the thing is, I remember my dad, who is also a Real-Estate broker, blew money and wasn't able to recover it back from Real-Estate. While living away from parents is good, vacationing solo sounds even better if it's possible.

You know, I'll talk to agents in my office to find out what is their commitmetns, or if they are just saving up money and living with their folks like I am.