Common red flags?

[Throw_away787]

I realize we are all looking for something different when we enter a LTR-but I'm curious, what are some of the more common red flags that suggest a woman would be bad for a LTR?

 

[btownbuck2012]

There's a bunch of these threads already on this sight but it certainly doesn't hurt to add some new ones. As far as where I'm at with women right now in my life the biggest red flags that I'm looking out for moving forward are as follows..

- She tells you stories about how she could be very mean to people in her past. This could be people at school, friends or even strangers in public. If she is sadistic or enjoys seeing other people get hurt or hurting them herself with words or psychological stuff then you need to watch out because she'll do the same thing to you once the honey moon period wears off.

- What is her Mom like and what is her relationship with her Mom? Does her Mom have a normal healthy relationship with her Father? What are her Mom's views on Men and relationships with Men? How close are her and her Mom?

- Does her family and friends seem to really want to get to know you and treat you kindly and go out of their way to make the first time meeting you special or do they act unfazed by your presence as if you're the next "t-shirt of the week" for you girlfriend.

- A big one is her overall attitude towards men and relationships. If she seems hardened or bitter towards men and dating that probably means she's had a guy she's really loved dump her (alpha widowed) or shes been with a-lot of guys and is disillusioned.

-

 

[Throw_away787]

A big one is her overall attitude towards men and relationships. If she seems hardened or bitter towards men and dating that probably means she's had a guy she's really loved dump her (alpha widowed) or shes been with a-lot of guys and is disillusioned.

Interesting last point. Can you elaborate further? If a woman is hardened or bitter, should I hold that against her? Maybe she did get screwed in the past (i.e. cheated on, pumped and dumped).

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Interesting last point. Can you elaborate further? If a woman is hardened or bitter, should I hold that against her? Maybe she did get screwed in the past (i.e. cheated on, pumped and dumped).

just my 2 cents bro, would you save a wounded lion? lol

 

[btownbuck2012]

Interesting last point. Can you elaborate further? If a woman is hardened or bitter, should I hold that against her? Maybe she did get screwed in the past (i.e. cheated on, pumped and dumped).

It's got more to do with her lacking the ability to really pair bond with you and enter into something meaningful and lasting. It's nice to think that you can help her "learn to love again", but if she's overly bitter and pessimistic about men and relationships it could mean that some guy or multiple guys have already gotten her emotional best in the past and there's always going to be that separating the two of you and anything you build together moving forward, i.e. women like this have an easier time dropping you if you're not on top of your game because they aren't holding onto any fantasy ideas about true love and romance conquer all.

Just an FYI I could potentially be wrong about that, but from my personal experience it's definitely a red flag I'm never going to ignore again for a potential LTR.

 

[wifehunter]

#1 red flag:

Lack of love, as in the lack of demonstrated giving and support.

All the other red flags stem from here.

"If I have not love, I am nothing at all!"

"The greatest of these is love."

 

[Roober]

It's got more to do with her lacking the ability to really pair bond with you and enter into something meaningful and lasting. It's nice to think that you can help her "learn to love again", but if she's overly bitter and pessimistic about men and relationships it could mean that some guy or multiple guys have already gotten her emotional best in the past and there's always going to be that separating the two of you and anything you build together moving forward, i.e. women like this have an easier time dropping you if you're not on top of your game because they aren't holding onto any fantasy ideas about true love and romance conquer all.

Just an FYI I could potentially be wrong about that, but from my personal experience it's definitely a red flag I'm never going to ignore again for a potential LTR.

Second this!

Also add on...
1. How does she treat those in the service industry?
2. If she doesn't have women friends cause of some BS like "I am too nice", "pretty", "flirty". What it really means is that no other woman finds her interesting enough to be her friend...

 

[Glassguy]

Red flag #1:

She is always seeking attention. Constant selfies (FB, snaps, instagram, etc).

Major red flag. Nothing you do except becoming the prize through scarcity will change that, and even that it a temporary solution.

With women like this, you can be scarce, a challenge, but if you get into a relationship with this type women, eventually she will think she "has you" and will entertain attention from other men. Just a fact.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She says, "My ex is the worst person in the world! I hate him!"

Translation: It's only a matter of time until I hate you, too.

 

[Throw_away787]

Things move extremely fast

Fast in what way? She starts treating you like a boyfriend right away? Or do you mean physically?

 

[The Duke]

If she takes Xanax and other psych drugs, don't get attached to her. These girls send flirty texts to their doctors to ensure they always get the pills they want.

 

[narcissist]

Mirroring your behavior and values

I agree with all the other ones except this one. I think this is a clear sign that she is interested in you. If you are leading correctly they will always try to be a little bit like you. The girl will make the same jokes as you, the girl will agree with your value system, and even adopt some of the values that you espouse. I think this is a sign of good leadership on the mans part.

Could you explain how this is a red flag?

 

[narcissist]

For one thing it's a symptom of cluster B disorder. There's a difference between honestly trying to adapt to your partner to increase compatibility because you see value in them, and hiding your true self to the extent you even have a personality in order to trick your partner into accepting a situation he wouldn't otherwise accept.

For example your girlfriend sitting down and watching Game of Thrones with you even though she doesn't really like it is a sign that she wants to invest in a relationship. Your girlfriend telling you that she's a huge Game of Throne fan and she loves Game of Thrones and read all the books even though it's a complete lie is mirroring and red flag.

The most bone-chilling example I can think of from my past is a girl railing against cheating and how she would never do it and how she would never put up with it ever again and then a year later telling me that cheating isn't worth breaking up over... this is flat-out fraudulent

Okay I completely understand what you are saying. So there is really nuance to it all. Mirroring can be a good sign and a bad sign, It simply depends on the extent to which she mirrors. That sounds about right. Thanks for the clarification brother.

 

[MrWiggles]

Daddy issues

Mommy issues

Fighting at home

Mostly guy friends

Exes around

Alcoholic or drug abusing parents

Egotistical

Argumentative

Knows psychology

Cares too much about appearance/superficial values

Lazy

Cheated in the past for any reason, even if it sounds justified

High partner count even if serial monogamist

30+ and never married

Gut feeling that something isn't right

Mirroring your behavior and values

Things move extremely fast

Cannot articulate morality beyond negative statements and oversimplifications/believes in subjective morality

Incorporate by reference everything btownbuck said other than his third point...sometimes the women have their family somewhat in this dark.

Just two add, baby daddy(s)

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I realize we are all looking for something different when we enter a LTR-but I'm curious, what are some of the more common red flags that suggest a woman would be bad for a LTR?

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/rules-to-live-by.235277/

-Augustus-

 

[AttackFormation]

It's got more to do with her lacking the ability to really pair bond with you and enter into something meaningful and lasting. It's nice to think that you can help her "learn to love again",

Hahahaha, lmfao. For some reason I just started chuckling, then bursting out laughing reading this.

 

[sangheilios]

Red flag #1:

She is always seeking attention. Constant selfies (FB, snaps, instagram, etc).

Major red flag. Nothing you do except becoming the prize through scarcity will change that, and even that it a temporary solution.

With women like this, you can be scarce, a challenge, but if you get into a relationship with this type women, eventually she will think she "has you" and will entertain attention from other men. Just a fact.

Older post, but this man is totally correct here and other guys should definitely consider this, especially when virtually every young woman uses social media today.

If her instagram consists of almost entirely selfies and provocative type photos you should realize that she is doing this to garner lots of attention, which should be seen as a major red flag. Unless she is getting paid, women like this are massive attention *****s and you are better off not getting involved with them. She is most likely talking to dozens of guys besides you and at the end of the day you are just another item that can be easily cast aside when she no longer needs you anymore.

Can you game women like this, probably, but you are way better off pursuing potential relationships with women who are much more well adjusted and healthy individuals.