Comment from Woman I have never heard before

[logicallefty]

Woman I am seeing, 38yo. Everything is still going well.

We were talking last night about our past, but not too deep. I made a comment that i have made to her before, and her comment back was one I had never heard before

Lefty: "I'll be honest this 1974 Chevy has been around the block quite a bit. I'm not proud but I also won't apologize for it "

HB: "My guess is that you have probably been around the block more than I have, but we won't get into that right now"

Lefty: "Yeah another time perhaps. My issue is this, and my closest friends and family will back me on this. I have no trouble at all getting women for whatever purpose I so choose, anytime I want. But where I do have trouble is finding women that aren't crazy. "

HB: "I know you are at a point in your life where you won't put up with anymore craziness."

Lefty: "Yeeeep, I won't"

HB: "I'll be honest I was a crazy b|tch in the past and it cost me my ex husband. The destruction of our relationship was mostly MY fault. After that I promised myself I would never let that happen again"

Lefty : "That's very respectable of you to recognize that"

HB: "Thanks. I'll also be honest that there are times I have caught myself heading to crazy with you but then reminded myself that you won't put up with it, and you would drop me in a second, and I don't want that".

Lefty: "yes, you are right, I would drop you. "

It's nice for a change to hear from a woman who doesn't blame her ex for everything, and who also knows her boundaries so well that she exercises restraint for the sake of the relationship. I'm very impressed.

 

[Slickster]

Lefty.....these aren't good conversations to have.....ever!!!

Talking about past relationships does nothing for yours.

Somehow, some way I suspect that some part of this little conversation will come back and haunt you.

 

[sodbuster]

OR, she may be foreshadowing what you will get if you marry her....

 

[evan12]

OR, she may be foreshadowing what you will get if you marry her....

that .
I would not take such a woman , she is clearing declaring she is a crazy b!tch , what else you want to hear from her ?

 

[Kailex]

Do NOT marry this woman ever.

You all also missed the very obvious shift in the conversation.
You talk to her about your car, she turned it into a conversation about YOU and your relationships and you kept rolling with HER conversation instead of getting back to yours.

I'd tread VERY carefully with this one. One thing I've learned is sometimes they mean what they say, specially when it's about their trips to Crazytown.

 

[MOTU]

I seem to be ever the contrarian around here, but I took that the way you did lefty. It is good that she isn't playing the victim in her prior marriage and could be a sign that she has matured. Of course, that doesn't change her hypergameous nature, it just could mean that she now understands that being bat schitt crazy reduces her SMV and she has decided not to let that happen at this stage in her life.

 

[Huffman]

My money is on this:
You sounded very dominant and in control during this convo. As long as you keep it up, she will be sweet, caring&loving, and suppressing her crazy side because she fears you. However as soon as you get comfortable even one bit, your dominance fades a little and her craziness might come back... to stab you in the back when you are weak.

But seriously, I could be wrong. Check back with us if you do pursue a LTR.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Lefty,
She is attempting to manipulate!

 

[logicallefty]

My money is on this:
You sounded very dominant and in control during this convo. As long as you keep it up, she will be sweet, caring&loving, and suppressing her crazy side because she fears you. However as soon as you get comfortable even one bit, your dominance fades a little and her craziness might come back... to stab you in the back when you are weak.

But seriously, I could be wrong. Check back with us if you do pursue a LTR.

This^^^ is spot on. It's easy to let this happen too if you aren't constantly aware that it is happening and that you have to stop it. I've even posted a few of my own threads about the topic of keeping frame and not assuming any woman is "different" until she proves after a LONG time that she is, and even then always keep the guard up:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=222829

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=218986


Bottom line with the woman I referenced in the OP, I think she is different than 95% of women in one area, the fact that she doesn't hand out blame cards to all of the people in her past for all of HER problems like a Poker dealer hands out cards.. But otherwise I can not and will not let that fact alone push me into getting comfortable and dropping frame.

Thanks for all replies from everyone.