Coming off as too aggressive/creepy?

[Genos]

I've been wondering, is it better to risk coming off as too aggressive or too passive?

I've talked to a few women who have told me about how they've had to rebuff some men's advances, that they were repulsed by how a particular guy tried to get physical with them. I would rather not be that guy >_>; I mean, it's definitely not fun to be the topic of an 'eww I hate that guy' story or be presented as a sort of stalkerish/creepy dude.

But at the same time, from my ultra-AFC days, I know that being timid gets you absolutely nowhere. Being too timid and avoiding/passing up chances for physical contact and escalation lost me several opportunities with women.

I'm currently in this phase where I'm breaking down my old boundaries, being more social, being more physical, kino'ing, etc., but I don't want to go over the line. One of my old fears when approaching women, is that if a woman is not in the mood to be approached or talked to (or in later stages, doesn't want to be touched by me), that me doing so would make them uncomfortable, or be annoying. I know this sentiment is ridiculous, as obviously you have to approach, but it's still a concern of mine.

I suppose what I'm getting at, is should I be a little more forward, or a little more passive? Or is there another, more nuanced approach I should be taking (and if so, what is it)?

 

[El Payaso]

For a woman, it's only aggressive when she's not attracted to the man.

 

[skinnyguy]

One of the regrets of my 20's is that I was too much of a puss to initiate things sexually with women.

Now I'm going to try an aggressive approach. If she rejects your advances, this is actually a good thing because you know not to waste your time.

It would be worse if you were passive and she gave you mixed signals for a long time. Who cares if she says "ew he creeps me out". She will forget about it in no time.

 

[MillionBillionaire]

I have been reading up on the passive pickup approach and that has skrewed my game up. Man up and be direct. Then you know where the line is then you can back off as needed.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Solid advice from all posters above

You’ll largely be able to tell by a woman’s body language whether she wants you to touch her or not , if she wants you to be sexual with her she will put herself into a position for you to be

You will often see guys on here with stories like “ well she jumped into bed with me but we were both drunk and i decided to be a gentleman and go to sleep instead of escalating”

NO

If she has put herself in that situation she’s fully aware there’s a 99.9% chance she’s going to get laid ,it’s your job to seal the deal

Unfortunately this only rings true for women who are already interested in you / have some type of history with you

Its a lot more difficult to know how to sexually proceed with women in a social circle / women at work because there’s a lot more to lose ( primarily value)

However I’ve discovered the key to solving this is “isolation” ......once a woman is away from her comfort zone you can quickly see through the mixed signals and games , you will get a true reflection of her intentions and she knows full well you now have nothing to lose by making a move on her

Sure she can go back and tell her friends you were a creep and tried it on with her .......but then what was she doing alone with you in the first place

 

[mangotot]

Now I'm going to try an aggressive approach. If she rejects your advances, this is actually a good thing because you know not to waste your time.

It would be worse if you were passive and she gave you mixed signals for a long time. Who cares if she says "ew he creeps me out". She will forget about it in no time.

Good advice.